My journal is where I keep my  thoughts,
Of you, and him, and me,
But you don’t know what I say,
Or how mean I can be.
I write about what you did,
And how it really hurt,
About the time you were smiling,
When you left me in the dirt.
Sometimes I write the good things,
Like the day we first met,
Then I remember how cruel you are,
So I drink to forget.
Do you think just because,
You try to beat me senseless,
That I will run away and hide,
Or run away defenseless?
I’ve called you things, I have to say,
Are not PG-13,
Just to try and get revenge,
And destroy your self esteem.
No Mrs. Howells, this isn’t true,
It’s just some made up stuff
But if you know me all too well,
You’ve already caught my bluff.
Now I’ll give you time to ponder,
To try and make a guess.
Alright you want the answer!
Well, I think it’s for the best,
If I keep their name inside,
The pages of a book.
But by all means, if you’re curious…
Go ahead and take a look.

Love isn’t an idea,
It’s a 4 letter word,
But to me, love is meaningless,
Haven’t you heard?
You may think I’m crazy,
That I’m being absurd,
But when the yelling starts,
My mind gets a little blurred.
I miss when they were happy,
Back when I was 2,
But now they’re in counseling,
Screaming, “I hate you.”
They never were a couple,
Just a custody battle,
Dragging me to court,
Still holding my baby rattle.
Loneliness became,
My brand new best friend,
And once I got older,
I just wished it all would end
But now the storm is calm,
After words with so much force,
Were spat in the others face:
“I don’t love you anymore and I want a divorce!”

Life isn’t fair,
It’s not a big deal,
Just because I’m wounded,
Doesn’t mean I won’t heal.
You can’t predict the future,
And can’t control the weather,
Depend on someone strong,
A bird of your feather.
Go exploring through the woods,
Get a little sun,
Sitting inside on the couch,
Isn’t any fun.
I’ve been to hell and back,
That’s much more than you can say,
But that hasn’t caused me,
To throw away the day.
You need to get up,
Feel the fresh air,
Leave your phone inside,
Don’t worry, it’ll still be there.
Take a second to adjust,
Unplug from your virtuality,
Look at your surroundings,
And breathe in your new reality.

If I could be anyone,
Trade places for a day,
I would be someone better,
Be different in every way.
Change the way I talk,
Change the clothes I wear,
Change the way my brain functions,
Even change my hair.
I want to be someone,
Who’s known for being nice,
Or the person you turn to,
When you need advice.
If I had to pick my person,
Here is my best guess:
I want to be a person,
Who isn’t a hot mess.
But sadly this isn’t possible,
I’m stuck just being me,
And here’s a question I have for you…
Who would you rather be?

Heartbreakers and broken hearts,
Seem to go hand in hand,
But romances with heartbreakers,
Never go as planned.
They lure you in,
Using their charm as bait,
And by the time you realize what’s happening,
It’s already too late.
You can’t escape the pain,
That they’re about to cause,
Instead of pointing out your beauty,
They’ve started pointing out your flaws.
After a couple months,
They’ll decide they’ve had enough,
You’re handed a bunch of boxes,
And told to pack up your stuff.
Heartbreakers and broken hearts,
Will be our worlds demise,
So look at the tiny details,
You can see heartbreak in their eyes.