You can't love someone
unless you love yourself?

I have never loved myself
but oh God, I loved him so much
I forgot what hating myself felt like.

I am Marrisa, the disappointment.  
Descendant of the lost and broken,
The Mister of Mischief, the Mother of Mayhem.
Working hard every sunshining day
Just to be called unworthy.
I lock away the lively tears
That pour from my eyes;
Days set aside to let out the ugly cries.
I am a creation of unstoppable emotion.
I am the Master of Disguise;
You wouldn’t recognize the mess I hide.

Don't you just love when people say one thing
and don't mean it at all?
They set you up and let you fall.
They're just playing with your feelings
to leave your mind reeling.
And then messing up your emotions,
causing an unwanted commotion.
That's worse than a knife through the gut.
Because I mean I gotta live with that
but at least I'd die with the knife, right?

We are strong, correct me if I'm wrong.
We are a work of art with a loving heart.
But once we were pulled apart by those we trusted.
Yes, the same ones that were disgusted
by the mere mention of our names;
the ones who never shared the blame,
whose only aim was to bring us shame.
It was easy to see we did not belong,
to stay would just prolong the torment.
Still, here we are to represent the innocent.
We may have been fragile once, a little too nice..
but that does not justify the slices
staking claim to our bodies,
stealing the territory we took for granted.
There will always be lies planted inside our minds
that are growing into vines, suffocating us..
but it does not justify the inhumane pills taken
to ease the pain that can't help but remain.
The dreams that we dread and run from will come,
but they do not justify the bullet holes in our head,
our wishing to be dead.
There is a way, a reason to survive, to be strong.
But correct me if I'm wrong...

Transparent to most.
Yearning for affection.
Publicly humiliated.
Isolated for good.
Corrupted innocence.
Abandoned child.
Loveless creature.

Ghostly thin.
Insecure.
Ready to die.
Luckily alive.