like a dog chasin
cars long the fence,
after a travelin something
that seems to make sense
to be with,
but without
is what we get

beside me
but not together.
separate worlds.
you don't try to reach me

Don't you get mistaken
thinkin you got some sort of obligation
needing to walk me home or carry my crap

"and my waitress pours me another glass of trouble"

Focus                
            like pencil
                                                balancing
on edge of desk

Walking backwards
to find what I use to know.

south for the season
leave with no reason
'cept the feelin'

wasn't here before
at home though

once I find where I left my spine
I'll stop holdin' up the line

make myself a deal
let you go for real

You all waitin
so am I

I'm not ready.
truth ain't easy.

can't say you understand
when i dont know myself

Our signal is poor
when indoors
ceilings caught us off
we are left with small thought.

When revealed to the sky
and looking into it's enormousness
we taste the universes endlessness
outside
there we think large

cannot explain the reason behind
why I'm so certin there isn't someone out there who's "mine"
Probably
my destiny
wasn't to be a lover.
therefor why would the creator
waste time on making my other?
Along the way I must have made a mistake
because now and forever I'm cursed with having a void I cannot shake.
If I come to my senses long enough I see
the selfishness that comes from trying.
Because promising my love to the wrong face
and waking in the wrong bed
only assures me that this lifestyle is something that isn't for me.
also it leaves me feeling guilty
for depriving a pair from uniting
all for the sake to relearn something I already know.
all the while, in all I do, it comes from a place true.
I have hope despite my disappointments.

Don't want you to be
but I want to be on my own again

try to admit
there's more behind it
than a simple irritation
Conversation just chat
falls flat
or creates between us friction
I'll pull in
away you shy
eyes get colder as you give out a sigh
I ask where you've been
I hoped for you to have thought of me
but you proved to me there was no guarantee

Every time the impact of aging hits me
my death sentence comes back to me


so any day now

A suspicious learner
against being a minion of another's opinion.
The way to learning is questioning.
Yes - it's an unpractical practice
because what is taught may be truth and time is trashed when used for investigation
but I rather have the satisfaction for knowing for myself
rather than accepting secondhand information.
But.. we're all probably wrong

something you can't deny
and I can't destroy
and I didn't know what to do with

so I it dropped off

I will not meddle in human affairs; there are other godlike matters at my attention that I care more for.

how 'bout me showin' you back to my place
take you there and put you under.
and everything that goes
heaven knows

the further i walk on
the farther i get from
getting over
the things I've left behind me.

Tonight's dinner is served with too much talk-
not enough truth-
but expect it to arrive shortly
just after Miss curiosity bites off more than she can chew;
the disloyal saint, just as long as his meal is finished,
will not to care to feed her a lie

then after the candor comes the check.

My devils make good impressions,
Scoring me high-ranking relations
with those of hereditary positions.
The fuel that sustains my First Class livin'
is their series of sinning
like the wagers I'm winnin',
and eluding from arrest for the felony of larceny,
and disporting Molly's spellbinding potency.
My lovin' is expensive
and luckily not at all pensive
Play, though cards are folded
Love, though fingers are crossed
Dance, though eyes are closed

I'm disassembling my skeleton and rearranging the bones. Building myself into something that will be immune to sticks and stones. replacing my eyes with glass, so that there will be a mirror-effect. so no one gets the chance to see the soul that I protect.