eyes stained with tears and wrists stained with blood  you were always the one who made me come undone

with every word you throw it stabs me in the chest, to think I thought you were different, but you're just like the rest.

I'm dying over you and you don't care to see that I need you so much more than you need me

this is so much harder on me than it is on you but maybe that's because I actually fell for you

starve myself until I'm thin like her, maybe then, you'll wanna be with me even more.

tear my skin and let the blood run out, unlike my love, yours always was full with doubt

cut my hair piece by piece, cover up my face so you don't see the heart break underneath.

there's this girl with the pink hair, she has this never ending feeling of depression and despair
She's got this smile, that outshines the whole entire sky, but no one knows she has scars that start at her wrist, and trail down her hips, and end on her thigh.
Her eyes the colour of the ocean, she's reckless and outgoing, she's got this kind of mind, and she'll stay strong in person, but at night she wants to die.
her voice is loud and gentle, it makes the blue birds sing.
she can make me laugh, with all the right words and sayings. she says she's okay but I know instead of killing all the Demond's in her mind, herself is the one she's slaying.

I do not know how to combine the 26 letters I am given,  in a way to make you understand how much I need your essence.
there is no combination that comes close to explaining how much I need your love.
the feelings pump through my heart but there's no way to spill them on the paper, believe me. I've tried.
I've tried countless times to show you that you're the one, but words don't seem to be enough.
the lines on that are etched into my body are the results of failed attempts to make you understand.
my heart aches and my body is sore from you attempting to break me with the words you murmur. they slip through your beautiful lips laced with poison and as slide through my head and climb down my throat they twist and tangle my stomach into knots. I spend my days in bed crying on and off because you don't want to be mine anymore. you know that I'm not strong enough to let you go.

I go insane at the sound of your voice,
and with every word you breathe it's no longer a choice.
I have to be yours and you have to be mine. this has become the way I want to spend my life
I'll be hurt at points and yes, so will you. but I'm hoping you think I'm worth the pain, because I know I do.
it's worth the tears and aching heart to be able to call you mine. I'll be happy to kiss you all over, knowing you're not all in.
I'll drive myself crazy thinking of you and her.
I'll die loving you because you'll be driving my hurse

your hand glided up her thigh just as easily as the sharp pain on my wrist. the words fell from your mouth just as easily as the blood falling on this paper, and you'll never know how much I love you
but I'll always know how much you crave her.
her name pops up and you're eyes go wide, I see her name pop up and I start to cry, you don't love me anymore and that's the hardest part, I've given you everything I have and you couldn't even give me your heart,
but that's alright my dear, I'll try to sew up my wrist and place my heart back together, I'll need some help holding it all because it's seem to have shattered.
I'll make the best out of a bad situation. like I always seem to do, and like a good girlfriend I'll put on a fake smile and tell you I love you.
and I hate feeling like there's always someone better, that you're just passing time talking to me in hopes she'll want to get back together. I feel sad and scared because I have no guarantee  that you'll always be there just like you said you'd be,
Actions speak louder than words and if that statement is true, then you don't love me half as much as I love you.

I want to die, I want to bleed, I want to choke, I want to be deceased.
I want to smoke, I want to cut, I should probably stop, before I'm done.
I want to drink, I want to drown, I want to fly, and never come down.
I want to sleep, and not wake up. I want to **** myself, I should probably shut up.
I want to hang myself, I want to overdose, I want to swallow the pills, until my throat will close.
I want you to see how bad it really is
i want you to actually give a ****.
I want you to care about me as much as I care about you, maybe then I wouldn't want all the things that I do.

I try my best to hide my pain, to take my worries and sadness and just throw it away.
I try to do the same for you, but you won't let me help so there's nothing I can do.
I try to make you happy and make you forget about the bad parts of the world,
how can I manage to do that when you're paying some other girl all your attention, and not even thinking of me. someone you always forget to mention.
I'll try to sew up my wrist and place my heart back together, I'll need some help holding it all together because it's seem to have shattered.
I'll make the best out of a bad situation. like I always seem to do, and like a good girlfriend I'll put on a fake smile and tell you I love you.

there's this line across my wrist and it's been there for a year,
it's been so long since it happened but it never disappears.

the memories will stay and they don't seem to leave, when you ask I'll make up another lie which I so easily weave.

you won't give it a second thought because you want to believe I'm fine.
when you're hungry you ask questions,
and the truth can't be told so I'll feed you lies.

I could never dare to say that I was weak enough to harm myself because of what happened that day

I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one you can always count on. not the one you're scared of losing or the one you walk out on.

you're gonna leave me and I can feel it in your voice. you don't love me anymore, and that's the hardest part. I've given you my everything babe, and you couldn't even give me your heart.

while you're asleep in your bed,
visions of you and her dance throughout my head.
while you're asleep, I'm wide awake and my chest feels like an earthquake.
while you're asleep, I, with blade in hand look around and wonder why cutting would be so bad.
while you're asleep, you don't have a clue. how much I'm effected by everything you do.
while you're awake, i act okay. taking my tears and blade and hiding them away
while you're awake, I put on a smile because everything you say makes it okay for a while.
while you're awake all I do is wait for you to shut your eyes once again so I can let the drowning of my tears and the contemplation of suicide begin.

as I take another drag, the smoke fills my lungs.
as I close my eyes, your face floods my thoughts.
as I swipe the blade, my worries abandon my mind.
as the blood drips from my wrist, I take a breath of relief
as I think of you, my cheeks get damp with tears.
I write these words knowing you'll never see how unhappy I can truly be.

my train of thought has lost control
the tracks are way to worn down and old to handle my reckless driving.
Everywhere I turn your words are a road block and I have to keep stopping to get a hold of myself.
only bad memories haunt this route,
and there's much to many to even attempt to count.
I'm scared of what's going to be at the end of this trek but I'm hoping this ride stops at death.

I want so badly to slit my wrists,
to give you the chance to forget I even exist.
to put myself out of this misery and finally be alright
to take the blade to my wrists and let the Demond's win this fight.
to add to the scars and marks
to make you see that I'm stuck here In the dark
to wipe this smile off my face and replace it with the look of death that seems to fit right in place
over a hundred times I've slid the blade and kissed the worries goodbye
I've let the blood drip from my arms and the tears stream down my cheeks and I've also ****** it all up in front of you, just to make you feel like you're doing something right.
I wish you knew how much you hurt me, just by glancing at her.
you don't want me anymore and I know it's true. so let me take a few more pills, maybe a few drinks of *****, hang myself up from this rope because it's the only way I know how to cope.

there's something dripping on this paper. but this time it isn't tears.

There's something dripping on this paper, and it's proof that I'm still here.

there's something dripping on this paper, it's stained the colour red.

there's something dripping on this paper, and there's much more to be shed.

there's something dripping on this paper, and I can't seem to make it stop.  

there's something dripping on this paper, and I should probably call the cops.

there's something dropping on this paper, and it's not going to recede.

there's something dripping on this paper, and this is my final letter goodbye.

I love you so much darling, but it's my time to die.

I'll never understand how it's so easy for you to let me go, while I'm trying my hardest just to hold on.
I don't get how you can say you love me, then turn around and chip away at my soul
I'm clueless as to how you can lie right through your teeth, telling me I'm your one and only when there's so many others I'm beneath.
I have no idea how you allow me to feel like hell after every time you say goodbye.
you're lucky I love you because if it wasn't for your unsteady heartbeat, I'd make my wishes come true. and all my best wishes are for me to die.

blood pump through you veins,
only to spill from your wrist.
the cold air fill your lungs,
only to be pushed out again.
The water from your eyes,
only to dry again.
The words from your mouth,
only to be ignored by the one they're meant for.
The snow to fall,
only for it to get warm again.
The flowers to bloom,
only to die again.
your hopes go up for him,
only to be let down again

volcanos form at the end of my wrist, erupting with every glide of the blade.
The lava flows and doesn't stop, but this time I'm not afraid
When I put water on the spot of red, it burns just as lava should. but it's not enough to make me dead.
I close my eyes and take another swipe and because this one is finally deep enough, it'll all be alright.
I open my eyes and look out the window at the many stars. then down at my many scars.  
I look at the sky, saying my last goodbye, I slip off into the night.

I'm scared of the dark and especially the lake water at night. I went out there with you because I believed you'd save me if I was drowning, but you didn't seem to notice that I couldn't catch my breath and was gasping for air when our shoulders brushed and your finger tips simply gilded across my thigh in an effort to take me under, what you didn't know was I fell long before we got into the water

your fingertips glide across my spine, unraveling my skin, showing the staircase to my mind. you travel each step, going deeper and deeper. and with every breath you take, you know begin to realise just how much you mean to me. you find my heart. with every corner you turn you find another picture frame with your face glued in  and how with every beat it takes you further into my secrecy, but you don't complain because it's everything you've every wanted to know and everything I was too scared to show.

you're ignorance is my bliss and your eyes make me weak. you're so beautifully arrogant and I can't seem to leave.
I've tried to get your face out of my mind darling and I've scrubbed the place your finger tips brushed, but I can't shake the feeling of your tender touch.
Your hands fit so perfect intertwined in mine, and every time I see your deep brown eyes,  I lose my mind.
You make me feel so many emotions,
but the problem is they come all at once.
I could feel extremely happy but sill on edge,
the pain rushes in and my hope crash down all
because you took interest in someone else.

As you take in my every movement                                                                  
I watch you bite your lip.
With my hand on my thigh and my hair falling to my back
I take one step closer, moving my hand to my hip.
I just wanted to be someone you'd crave                                                          
Someone you'd think about at the end of the day,
You always tell me I've always been your one and only
but i know you've always been a hopeless liar
and i wish i could hate you, because you've torn me down so many times
just know baby, you'll always be my burning desire.

Eyes green with envy and face red with rage. Your arms wrapped around her and your fingers planted on her waist.
Your lips must've been wonderful, after all those cigarettes and that beer. but you kept whispering her name, something I just couldn't bear.
While I just stood there imagining how easy it would be to race away but somehow keeping calm, the moon whispered to the stars, then they glistened and feel from the sky and I envied them terribly, because after all they were the ones who could fly.

I'm thinking and it's scaring me
because in my mind you're with her

I'm thinking and it's scaring me
because you always seem so far.

I'm thinking and it's scaring me
because I can't get you out of my head

I'm thinking and it's scaring me because you're making me feel dead.

I'm thinking and it's scaring me because all I want is to tear my skin

I'm thinking and it's scaring me because baby the darkness is gonna win

I'm thinking and it's scaring me because you're gonna leave

I'm thinking and it's scaring me because the blood isn't gonna recede.

I'm acting upon my thoughts and this is gonna be the end, I'm sorry babe but I'm better off dead.

I'm standing at the ocean,
staring out at sea.
I've collected all of my doubts,
but they were taken away with the breeze.

I'm standing at the ocean,
my soul gets lost in the waves.
I try hard to call it back,
but she loves to misbehave.

I'm standing at the ocean,
my mind is turning blue.
I'm thinking about letting it swallow me, because I'll never feel whole without you.

I'm standing at the ocean,
but all I can hear is your voice.
The last time you told me you loved me, and how you never had a second choice.

I'm standing at the ocean,
about to jump in,
I just wanted to let you know dear,
I've loved you ever since the day we began.