We have five months
til you leave for two years
til you forget me
til I'm just another ex
a has been
a would be
til everything we are
is for nothing
til our love
the early mornings
and late nights
singing and car rides
tickle fights
hugs
kisses
"I love you"s
end

The thing about this, love
is for once
I can't be a has been
or a would be
I just want to be yours
to wake up and see your face each morning
cook breakfast together
see you at your worst
and at your best
and love you more each moment
to make our lives one

I cant be a has been
or a would be
or the one that got away
I just want to be
your "the one"
because you'll always be mine.

How do I keep good grades
When I can't find the willpower to pull myself out of bed to get to school
How do I keep a good relationship
When no one can convince me I'm worth anything
How do I keep my friends
When they all move away
How do I smile
When all I want to do is break down and cry
How can I love others
When I can't even love myself
How can I be responsible
When I can't remember to eat or do homework
How can I do anything
When I try to sleep
And darkness slips through my dreams
"You're a failure"
"You're worth nothing to anyone"
"What's the point in living anymore?"
How can I face the dark
When you say to "just get over it"
"Just get out of bed"
"Be a good student"
How can I be strong
There's so much weight on my shoulders
Like a freight train of things to do
But I am so weak
My bones are brittle
I have cuts and scars that will not heal
I can't believe in myself
And no one else will
So this train will crush my brittle bones
I'll be nothing and no one
But that's no different than what I am today
I'll be gone with the wind
Shattered and swept away
With no one to remember
The girl who tried her hardest
Which was never enough.

They say you should respect your parents
Heaven knows I tried
But you're so shallow it hurts
Tell me I'm prettier with makeup on
Don't remind me of things I already know
Telling me you don't like my boyfriend
Just because you see skin, not soul
You're terrible enough to say
He's not too cute, fat, and dumb
After meeting him once
With no attempt at conversation
Little do you know
Or care to know
I like him the way he is
How his eyes are turquoise like the sea
He makes me laugh
Tells me I'm beautiful
Like you never do
We have so much in common
And he makes me happy
I'm more comfortable around him
Then I will ever be with you
He knows so much about music
And cooking
And culture
Knows me better than you do
So keep your shallow thoughts to yourself
Let me be happy
Just this once

You helped me build the courage kiss you
And I'm so glad you did
Every time I think about our first kiss
This stupid smile spreads across my face
I get these butterflies like I've never had
And when I kissed you
All my worries were gone for a moment
And all there was is you and me
You kissed me for the second time tonight
And it was just as magical as the first
So will it be the same for the third?
The 50th?
The 1000th?
Im a confused little soul
Always depressed and awkward
But all I know for sure
Is I want to waste all my time with you
You make me feel worth something
And when I kiss you
Everything is right
The stars align.

I used to think I knew what love was
But now I'm sure I do
Though we haven't said it just yet
I can feel it
And I know you feel it too
You know me better than anyone
And I the same for you
We spend so much time together
Yet somehow its not enough
No one has ever looked at me the way you do
And I don't look at anyone the way I look at you
When I think about when you kissed me
I can't help but smile
I'm nervous
I'm shy
And I'm awkward
But somehow you make me feel
Beautiful
Loved
Wanted
I won't tell you this just yet
But I love you
And when the world is sad and gray
You make everything a little brighter

Kissing has always been strange for me
The awkward ones we weren't sure about
The one I did out of sympathy
The one he forced me to do
I've never quite wanted to
Or understood the appeal
Its been years since a boys lips were pressed against my own.
When you drove me home tonight
Something strange happened
I wanted to lock my fingers around your neck
Pull your face closer to mine
I wanted to kiss you
So badly.
Of course, I couldn't
Because I always tell you
"I'm not ready"
Since kissing you was never on my mind
But now
Its all I can think about.
And sweetie,
I think
I just might be in love with you
So next time you drive me home
Kiss me
I promise I'll kiss you back darling.