today is the last day
of our lives.
clouds are turning to black from grey.
today is the end.
so say goodbye
to all of your friends.
there is no rescue in sight.
all there is left to do,
is run towards the light.
on our last and final moments
what would you say?
what would you confess
on this judgement day?
the end is here.
no more ‘hellos’, i fear.
who would you tell
that you so deeply fell?
fell into such deep love.
but all this time,
never told a single soul.
who would you say
was your one and only
mate from back in the day?
who would you claim
that deserves to be shamed
because of their past
which you assumed
so much so fast?
who should be named as saved
because of actions
so careless, yet brave?
who would you die for
because they have been
through so much more.
who’s hand would you never let go
no matter how much you both
are stretched, ripped and thrown?
who’s name comes to mind
when it’s your time
to leave everything
but your heart behind?
who’s name comes to mind
when you are called to go,
but you certainly know
that your love is watching you
as you walk away so slow.
think of their name,
and never forget it.
this is judgement day,
and you are a perfect fit
in place of taking your loved one away.
its quite simple actually.
instead of your love to leave you,
you will leave and start anew.
you will walk away,
leaving your love at the end of the day.
because you only believe
that this is the way,
you’ll both be happy.
on this heartbreaking judgement day.

strangers.
thats all we were.
destined strangers.
destined to meet.
destined to laugh.
destined to touch.
destined to love.
destined to hurt.
destined to love again.
this was our destiny.
but the funny thing is,
destiny tested us from day one.
the cafe you sit at everyday
is the same cafe i drive by,
everyday.
the 20 story building you walk into everyday
is where i park my car,
everyday.
the days you visit the bookstore,
are the days i'm out for a run.
the days i visit the same bookstore,
are the days you walk your dog.
at 1:45 pm, you come into my bakery everyday.
from 1-2 in the afternoon is my lunch break,
everyday.
on the saturday you went to pick up a tux,
i was in the dressing room,
picking a dress.
friday, 3rd one of june,
was the day
you finally walked my way
and i walked yours.
you dressed in a smooth straight black suit.
and i dressed in lace, ribbon and chiffon.
all in white.
"Beautiful day, isn't it?"
i turned your way
and for the first time,
i met your eyes.
your eyes of caribbean blue.
"Yes, it is."
your smile
so warm and charming.
"i'd better get to my altar,
and i guess you better get to yours",
was the last thing
you ever said to me.
you walked away from my direction,
and i walked away from yours.
that day,
i said "I do",
and so did you.
but not to each other.
45 years past.
2 children.
3 grand children.
3 dogs.
1 divorce.
0 marriages afterwards.
all because of someone.
a man from 45 years ago.
he was my destiny
and i hope he knew too.
strangers are who we were.
strangers are who we are.
strangers are who we will always be.
destined strangers;
who will never see.
destined strangers;
you will just be you.
and i will just be me.
you and i will never
be the destined 'we'.

we said
no strings attached,
but i still
got caught up in that.
we said
it wont mean a thing,
but i still
imagine you and i, just sitting.
sitting side by side,
my smile i try to hide.
your hand comes closer to mine.
i pray for our fingers to intertwine.
but instead,
'i should get going'
is what you said.
the next day,
when you asked me
if i wanted to come over and stay.
stay the entire night with you.
i thought this was a dream come true.
but when i arrived,
your eyes looked deprived
of human touch.
but all i wanted to do
was learn more about you.
i pushed you away,
but you said i should stay
that you would even pay.
i stared, and hatred filled.
in that moment, the earth stilled.
i slapped him so hard, his teeth clattered.
and i ran home crying.
my only thoughts
we're thoughts of dying.
we said
no strings attached,
but i still
got caught up in that.
2 months gone by,
haven't heard
a single word since.
but i still lie
and cry
late at night,
of the troubles i fell into.
of all the troubles i've been through.
and the pretty things said
to make me love you.

there are no people here.
you may hear a whisper
you might even hear a cry.
but my dear,
i so sincerely fear,
there are no people here.
all thats left
are those who
leave all their love behind.
those who moved through
all their emotions in their mind.
dump them on the ground,
throw them in the sound,
make sure their feelings have been drowned.
before all of this torment,
people usually spent
all of their emotions and love
in others like them.
instead of
what they do now.
their souls are now endowed
for the price of not getting hurt
so their emotions were advert
and pushed aside.
and then the devil came to play
and said ‘i can take every single emotion away’.
so he did,
for the price of a soul.
and now everyone
is anything but whole.
they just walk around,
lifeless and dead,
rather than their hands holding their weeping head.
they dont want to feel sad,
they dont want anything but to feel glad.
they dont want to care,
even though they do.
they emotions are what made them square.
now they have nothing left,
due to the devil’s theft.
now my dear,
the time is here.
where i cant stand my emotions no longer.
and im growing more weak,
and less stronger.
the devil has arrived for his pay.
and this is my way,
of saying ‘i should’ve said no’,
when the boy from while ago,
said nothing but,
'i love you.
and i hope you feel the same too.’

tell me
tell me everything.
tell me whatever
your mind brings.

happy or sad,
-say it all-
everything you want, need or had.

all of it matters
say it quickly,
before my world shatters.

quickly,
you and i don't have long.
i have been strong
for much too long.
so i must go,
before i do,
i have to know.

i have to know
what you are thinking.
don't waste time.
my hope is shrinking.

tell me everything.
say it to me now.
before i earn my angel wings.

my time is coming to a close.
and you still never came
even after i was diagnosed.

i waited for your call
to explain it all.
for your voice
to drown out the noise.

but you never called
you never came
you never said.

so now it's too late.
and i am dead.

your words can do so much
they could have been my crutch
as i tried my best
even though
i was so very distressed
to get back up
but the hatred
would not let up.

so i stayed
glued to the ground.
without your loving words,
i already knew i was bound
to earn my angel wings.
i just wish you
could have told me everything.

when i jump,
you dont make me want to die,
you make me want to fly.

you wont believe how terribly lonely i really truly am.
this isn’t real.
this world isn’t real.
none of this is real.
i put it together.
piece by piece.
section by section.
fragment by fragment.
i built it up from nothing.
and look now, it’s everything i’ve got.
without it,
i am pathetic,
i am alone,
i am a disgrace,
i am horrible
i would be dead.
i spend all my time there,
and when i do,
i dont feel alone.
but its not real.
none of it is real.
but for some reason,
all of it,
every bit of it makes me feel
loved,
cherished,
happy,
wanted;
something that no one in reality gives me.
without my other world,
i have just been sitting alone this entire time.
to reality,
that is how alone i have been all this time.
to my other world,
its actually real to me.
the people in my world are more real than those in this world will ever be.