Monday morning, I am hoping these unlucky days are coming to an end if not then I hope the fates will grant me a reprieve.  A little over a week until Christmas and I am not ready; I am not accustomed to waiting until the eleventh hour to start and finish shopping but unfortunately situations from the last two-weeks have dictated this plight.  So many things happening internally and externally, I am losing track of time and the opportunities for social engagement.  The emotional scars keep reopening, the drizzle of crimson nightmares providing the scent of allure to my demons; my fears and frustrations clanging upon the anvil in my head.  

The winter solstice is approaching; it will be night soon and the sun is frightened.

As kids,
We couldn't wait to grow up.
Why?
We couldn't wait for more stress?
For one day closer to death?
For bills,
And drama?
Now that I'm closer to being grown up,
I understand that's its a trick,
Set by Satan himself,
And I want to go back in time.
I want to go back,
I want to grow young.

I'm craving you
Not just ***
Not just intimacy
But love.
Making love to be exact.

I stopped writing.
I stopped writing
because I thought
maybe then you would
dissolve into nothing
just like I did to you.
But you stayed, more
present than ever,
you stayed.