she was with me
last night
in the dreams
ill never understand
silhouetted
moon pulling at her hand
like it pulls at the waves
leaving her
broken and bare

"nameless dream girl,
before you disappear"
your voice so familiar
and whisper so clear
have we meet somewhere
did we meet here
have i told you my stories
did we ever begin
have we fallen in love
could it happen again.

in love
with who
she was,
before she loved
who she is
and i miss
her.

you're
fallin asleep
in that space
between
collar bone
and
shoulder
and i've
always wondered
how it would feel
to have
softer cheeks
rise and fall
with nervous breathe
and how your
lips looked
from an angle
only a starving artist
could create
when he had
rent to pay
and
a girl to see
in a shirt
he hadn't
worn since he
remembered
he had it
when it fit him
and
she has it
falling loosely
over her smaller
frame
and when
we're
fallin asleep
in that space
between
your eyes
and my dreams
i hope you
know I'd choose
your eyes

if i ever kissed you
it would be
for a reason
like you are to me

if what we hear is true
and we have one life less than two
i'd spend every minute given
falling in love with you

now the only time
she looks at me
is in a picture
with that
slow moving grin
like a sunday morning
and shes lying there
with her chin
on her hand
on my chest
as her finger tips
run gently
over the words on my arm
and they seem
to make sense
to her
but she only signs
in cursive

id never **** around with an empty bed
there’s too much space for a crowded head
restless sleep owns all you ever said
need an answer, child, tear apart the pillows instead
dont fall into your old ways

another wave
crashes against
your self
stumbling only
to better embrace
another
you crash into
not through
off balance
in a balanced nature
it moves on
without you
and
another
and another
and another hits
you hit another
another hits and you hit another
head above the water
fearing whats beneath
though
the half without
decision
is surviving
just fine beneath
and there’s a pulse
you’re alive beneath
close your eyes
there’s always
another
to face
another
to dive
another
opportunity
to meet
the heart of a wave
with your mind
and come up
alive

almond eyes
seeing more
than i see inside
wild as a wolf
and wide as her mind
blue as the sky
before the stars
come alive
while the artist
takes its time
painting a moon
on dark cotton
and i swear
this world is better
when her eyes are open

she is the poem
i wanted to write
and the pen
i couldn’t find
in the dark of night
so i dipped a branch
in the water
reflecting the moon
and wrote who she is
up in the sky
for her eyes to see
“dear,
you are the
artists brow,
before a masterpiece,”
and i dipped again
“and a masterpiece
is admired by many,
loved by few,”
a cloud passed
and the words stood still
for one last sentence
“but i’d learn to paint
for you.”

those
wild eyes
i
want to spend
days with them
and
nights with
you

and i’ve learned
dear,
today comes
before tomorrow

i just gotta know
if i can live without her
this world can change faces
in a moment
and i don’t think we’ll
ever really understand
why good things go wrong
and just like a song
she’s here, and then she’s gone  
at night, at the loneliest times
when you close your eyes
and rest that restless mind on
the colder side of the pillow
which is always warmer
in the morning
and i’ll wish every night
for a dreamless sleep
absent of you
in a flowing dress
with your humble beauty
walking amongst the flowers
making sure i see
that look you give
when you're happy

and time is still
until that smile fades
but it’ll come around
again

you
can’t stand your face
despite your eyes
and how your lips
speak beautiful lies
are honest opinion
to your ears
covered nicely by
wavy hair
til its up in a bun
and you’re the starving artist
in a soho studio
with an old tee
the past left laying around
white with creative intuition
defining how your life’s been
a lot like your chin
and how it fits in
the top of a loose fist
while you think
and your elbow digs into the thigh
you always noticed
but so did i
skin cooler then the far side
of a pillow case
and dark as hardwood flooring
in a tiny house
because who needs anything big
when you’ve got all you need
right here
in front of you
wearing sandals
made of armadillo hyde

we’re
runnin wild
from
the fear
of knowin’
how to
move

knew me better
knew me well
knew my heaven
painted your hell
know i tried and
know i fell
know my art
never meant to sell
the artist, the mind
the master behind (the piece)
the long nights, we’d find
ending in (bitter release)

love’ll come
it won’t come easy, no
love’ll go
it won’t go easy, no

we’re chasing ghosts
into the
unknown

crooked dreams
and colder feet
runnin wild
from circled repeat
socks with holes
pants are cuffed
sleeves are rolled
pockets stuffed
the things i own
and grown to love
buried deep
not deep enough
that’s what i do
keep things around
a moment stays
when i think it’s found
etched in stone
written on skin
for your eyes to see
the places i’ve been
the churchill drawer
the queens ole town
the wooden gates
i’ll let them down
hold on tight
to the moment now
the moments of then
the questions of how
it all began
it all went down
the story told
the poem out loud
the life we lived
the love we found
hiding in
the artists brow

i’m
a drug
to an addictive
personality
i’m
a bad decision
good people
make
i’m
an impossible fix
to an ordinary
mistake
i’m
a good song
full of words you don’t
understand
i’m
a free mind
wandering places it may never
find
i’m
nice shoes
with holes in his
socks.
i’m
the writer
writing words
written on his chalk board mind
i’m
a drug
preying on  
low hanging
fruit

i hear it in
my dreams,
sometimes
her voice,
her words spoken
slowly,
slow enough to
make out
the meaning in what

she says
and put it together with
the rest.

do
you want
to
talk about
the
muscles we
use
as we
kiss
or only
enjoy
that we
can.

we’ve held summer in our hands
traded fall for one last dance
woke up in the depth of winter
found spring beneath those flowers

and in that beat up car we admired
drove further away when we were tired
you fell into dreams on my shoulder
oh the sweetest of dreams on my shoulder
in the holes of my sweater
in the lines on the road
in the some kind of beautiful they hold

we had two shirts apiece,
jeans and albums in our strapped suitcase
barefoot on the pedals, bare-eyed toward the sunline
old shoes in the back seat, two hours of sleep
only one of them mine

road side flowers ran wild with us
state to state the colors changed with us
asked to stop in northern tennessee
to pick one for you and one for me
we slid the stems into the center vent
and pushed our seats back
propped my feet up on the wheel, yours out the window
we admired the simple existence of those petals
and all the beauty in those weightless leaves
in the color it gave something so, ordinary  

i remember runnin in the rain
clothes got heavy so we became weightless again
there was a whole lot of beauty that night
but nothing like your eyes in the moonlight
the way they folded with your smile
it was like your cheeks have been hiding them for awhile
some kind of beautiful a soul aches to create
your eyes were never the same

**** **** **** **** **** ****
**** **** **** **** **** ****
**** **** **** (i love) you you
you you you you you you you
you you you you you you You.

see i met you
with white and blue
around your eyes
some others finger tips
the same two colors
and they weren’t
perfect
and neither were you
but neither was i
or that day
or how the tallest building
stood in the way of the sun
but it found a way to
your eyes
and i had a flower
to give, from another
who gave it away
this orange one
(never been much good
with remembering flowers)
only easy simple beauty
and it was minutes past noon
music had yet to
make a note
the sky was
a shade of blue
faces everywhere
shoes clothes tattoos
wide brim southern california
hats crop top purses
a blue darker
than the sky
held gently to her
hand-me-down thighs
and came back in
to kiss her waist
for being simple
her torso was
drawn by a composer
who swung his arms
back in
with purpose
though also precision
and allowed his motions
to drift
outwards
because it was
beautiful
and
the sound that came
from a swing of
his limbs
and the lift of a brow
and a careful
but not careful
but never too careful
smile
so the 14th chair
trumpet
knows she played the
note right
and
she doesn’t have
to celebrate by
herself
and its her shoulders
holding
invisible weight
but weight nonetheless
the weight of
ten thousand moments
and
nine thousand insecurities
and
eight thousand mistakes
and
seven thousand thoughts
about her mother
and
six about her father
and
five each for her sisters
and
four minutes until
walk the moon
and
three selfies
because it takes that many
and
two shots of
whatever ***** was cheap enough
last night
and
one flower
(and im sorry i dont
remember the name of it)
but its for you
and they told me
to tell the next person
to enjoy it while its theirs
and breathe in with
their eyes closed
to touch softly
and wildly
and place it behind
their right ear
no, their left ear
and encourage others
to stop
and smell the roses
(and im aware it wasn’t
a rose that i gave you)
but i was hoping
you’d find
some sort of appreciation
maybe in a petal
or the greener stem
or maybe the fact
that some guy
just gave you a flower
and offered
a hand
which you met with yours
and helped you
step out
of your head
and
he was there
to catch you
because its a big step
and you didn’t know him
but you trusted
and his arms weren’t that muscular
but you felt them
and time wasn’t being taken from you
you
took the time
to enjoy the beauty of life
with a flower
in your right,
no, sorry left ear
(and i never was much good
at remembering flowers)

your skin
is softer than
mine
and i
took your
love
for granted
and i
apologize.

drug.
i left you behind
yet, somehow you got
ahead
of me,
in the head
of mine,
wrapped up in these
sheets of fine
memories
and
under the skin
with divine
rhythm and rhyme,
thoughts of sin
and
new beginning,
hope
was lost in the kitchen,
a letter gone missing
hidden in the bliss
of re-admission,
written in ink
with a pen that
barely listened,
letters taking shape
and falling victim
to the music
in the next room,
these words weren’t within him,
the lyrics,
meant nothing more
then what they’ve ever meant,
but they sounded
so nice,
****,
you played
the same song
twice.
relapse

i heard you might be here
and maybe,
i’m waiting for the smoke to clear,
to see you across the street
legs crossed where the knees meet

big sweater, big weather
up above the clouds, lookin out
at what keeps the west coast better now,
lost in a paper back
hair fallin lower than her Orchard hat
socks ridin high above those laces
teeth sink into lower lip, you’re into it

a space needle knits stars on dark cotton
while the moon provides the artist
enough light to get lost in
and find himself somewhere outside boston
writing wave swept messages in temporary sand
calling out to the same **** moon we see so often

close to full, yeah so am I
a bite taken by night caught her eye
imperfect wonder painted in the perfect sky
sitting between the stars of tomorrows sight

that’s something for tomorrow’s fight

and you asked
am i as much of a puzzle
to you
as you are to me?

no, not at all
and before you take that
the wrong way,
don’t.
there’s much more
to this
than the words
you can’t see.

send our words on through
the space between us

i’ll make paper planes for you
to fly in the space between us

penciled poems and silly notes
riddled on folded scrap
still words
of inked thoughts
soaring in the wind
caught in the gusts
of mother natures touch
taking off
into the storm
into the space between us
they’ll make it to you
in the grass
beside your daydream
your chest pocket
between those three seams
through the window down
on a ‘take tour time’ drive
(on a take your time drive
on a take your time drive)
and the musics louder now
doing your best to drown out
the tune playing sequence
in your restless
mind
watch the sky
as paper planes fly
in loops and dives
wings like arms
windows as eyes
wheels will walk
if they land on your thighs
reach out your hand
open your palm
let one land
leave space between us calm

I saw you,
i saw you dear
hazel eyes they were
in their beauty i stood

but i looked away
and they left me there
standing in the ocean air

gusts of thoughts
and waves of knowing.,
chasing me back and forth
soaking the soles of my shoes
and holding my shirt
up to the moon

offering all i had
pockets empty, take what back?
nothing to give an ageless comfort
living among the stars

there's little here
no stories to heed
no sage advice hidden
in this stripped down
voice, noise, sound,
nothing worthy of want
or success to envy

there's only a desire
to find something

hand it over, into the gifted
unknown,
fingers unbending and needing
a small possession
of emotion,
appreciation,
presence

to fill the absence
cratered on its own

kept alone in a memory
guarded by time
and the constant belief
normal is as normal does

straight lines and ordinary minds
run wild with the times
dressed to the nines
to feed the eyes
clean, manufactured lies

look away and you forget
how to be a white lie.

He falls asleep when his hand stops shaking;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

His life was never made, it’s in the making;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

He’s abused, re-used, begged and been refused;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

Reality needed another victim to be excused;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

He greets the same morning sun as you;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

But darkness falls a little harder when light never shines through;
There’s another soul on the street tonight.

There’s always a time for something, a place for something, a feel for what
something is, what something isn’t or will be or won’t be, or
what it might’ve been since it never really was much more than a pay it forward,
but I could tell that wasn’t a hollow ‘good morning’, because I held the door for a reason,
one larger than an excuse, a reason deeper than the diving end, louder than the traffic, the chorus of car horns, conversations and noise variations, behind me;
a reason better than I am myself, a reason beyond bettering myself, a reason
because I am myself and you are you and from what I noticed you had your hands full, and maybe I just wanted an excuse after all, to say
‘Good morning.’

Your mid-lip drops,
the ends slide, raise,
revealing
an off-white bridgework
only seen
when on the heels of a smile.

Your curtains fall
embracing upper cheek with
innocent, open arms,
wrapping
themselves in the wrinkles
from times before,
when on the heels of a smile.

Your hazel aroma
scintillates through
a squinted discovery
seizing
a moment of divine pleasure,
when on the heels of a smile.

When on the heels of a smile
a broken, off-balance
appearance, binds metrical
pieces with a brush stroke,
creating a single wrinkle.

Whatever’s
down there
can’t find me
on the top step.
Can’t touch me on
my stoop. I bounce tennis
***** here till they clip a
step an roll, missing every other
on its way to where it smells really
good but things are lost.  Must, detergent,
and a little bit of something else races through
innocent nostrils who could tell you all about cut
grass and baseball fields, leaf piles and orange juice,
oatmeal cookies and sunday dinners, but nothing about down
there.  Besides every night at eight when the noise calls my mom
downstairs, far past my stoop, she returns with The things I lost.
And a pile of warm, warm clothes smelling of must, detergent and a little
something else.

Maybe, we’re all wayward souls looking for a
way out.
Spent so long squeezing into factory shoes,
small enough to contain us
that we’ve become numb to these
hand-me-downs.
This society that holds our hands down.
Only raising them when it’s time to change shoes.
Feet out.
Toe’s pointed.
Watch your heels.
Years of this and we’re still wearing what they want us to.
Walking around like counterfeits,
reproductions, imitations, replicas,
when we’re only us.
Only ever been us no matter what they say.
It might be cliche, but it’s an obvious truth.
Feet out.
Toe’s pointed.
Watch your heels.
Us has never left us.
Pressing against the soles of our factory shoes as each toe
bends, folds, distorts, depreciates with every step.
But it’s finding appreciation in every step that,
loosens the laces.
It’s discovering no step is the same step that,
lifts the tightened lip a bit.
It’s learning how to walk while others run,
running while others walk,
that leaves you bare foot in a world of broken glass.
Feet out.
Toe’s pointed.
Watch your heels.
It’s taking leaps while others surrender
their ability to negotiate with
themselves.
It’s conquering the ability to dress yourself that wears out
the factory shoes on your feet.
Feet out.
Toe’s pointed.
Watch your step.

You breathe me in
I breathe you out
that’s all this is,
what love’s about
how I used to see this thing we do
funny those feelings hidden from you
when life’s all good and our loves all great
not til they’re taken away, we break
only then does the heart feel hopeless,
broken down, miles from home
though home’s beside you, so let me remind
you,
if I could rewind this and take
it back to what we were
before the,
leaves hit the autumn floor
and september left with no
warning, or you or I
I would, oh I would
but this thing we do, this life we live
goes on with or without you.

Hold this one in a little longer
like it’s your last, chance to breathe
to see, this angelic
world as you do
with open, wide eyes
looking through and past this.
Just try and see there’s more to this life
than fighting with what’s history.

Moving out on old love’s
something we all gotta do
sooner or later the house
you built’s gotta fall, but that’s alright
*** love’s a concept not just
and opportunity, so don’t you tell me
the one has come and gone,
*** love’s all around us.

The pupil grows
shrinks,    
comes up
to breathe,    
then hides behind
the blinks.                              
Blanketed by
a hazel iris
for emphasis
for color, attraction
for the unspoken bliss
to egress,
freely.
It’s all in the eyes,
those pistils
of your beauty.

I must’ve been out of my mind
getting out of these clothes
there you were pulling me closer
All I could picture was you letting go

Shutting me out, once
that clock struck the mid of night
walking home under dim street light
but why guess, when you can know,
when you can know

Hold your breathe
don’t think twice
finding her
shouldn’t be so precise
rip off the sleeves
of the shirt you wear
*** you’ve got your heart
all over them
and now it’s hers to bare




Had enough with playing safe
***’ safe doesnt play well with a wandering mind
venturing over its walls and under its ropes
i’ll make my own path only I can follow

Now I know i’m not that little kid anymore,
but there’s some things I wanna find, out
in that world for myself, like
what’s clean love
like what’s clean love all about



Hold your breathe
don’t think twice
finding her
shouldn’t be so precise
rip off the sleeves
of the shirt you wear
*** you’ve got your heart
all over them
and now it’s hers to bare




Maybe It’s that I’m naive, or
that I like to think
there’s clean air to breathe
that sometimes love can last through the night
***’ sometimes love returns a kiss before it leaves

Nothing wrong with a little white lie
if it helps you believe, anything to believe
what can you actually believe anyway
knowing people made up their minds
no matter what you say
no matter what you say
No matter, no matter



Hold your breathe
don’t think twice
finding her
shouldn’t be so precise
rip off the sleeves
of the shirt you wear
*** you’ve got your heart
all over them
and now it’s hers to bare



But I’ve learned to listen and
even ******* can glisten
under enough sunlight
if she says it just right

straight under the skin
like the point from a pin
like the ink from the needle
of the tattoo at some nights end

always told me to write my own story
but it’s hard without a pen
without the space, without the time
so here’s to making it mine.

I must’ve been out of my mind
getting out of these clothes
there you were pulling me closer
All I could picture was you letting me go

Shutting me out, once
that clock struck the mid of night
walking home under dim street light
but why guess, when you can know,
when you can know


Had enough with playing it safe
***’ safe doesnt play well with a wandering mind
venturing over its walls and under its ropes
taking it’s own path that’s self designed

Now I know i’m not that little kid anymore,
but there’s some things I wanna find, out
in that world for myself, like
what’s clean love
like what’s clean love all about


Maybe It’s that I’m naive, or
maybe I like to think
there’s clean air to breathe
that some love last through the night
some love returns a kiss before they leave

Nothing wrong with a little white lie
if it helps you believe, anything to believe
what can you actually believe anyway
knowing people made up their minds
no matter what you say
no matter what you say
No matter, no matter


But I’ve learned to listen and
even ******* can glisten
under enough sunlight
if she says it just right

straight under the skin
like the point from a pin
like the ink from the needle
of the tattoo at some nights end

always told me to write my own story
but it’s hard without a pen
without the space, without the time
so here’s to making it mine.

That smile you wear on my chest          
hair blankets the pillow in a hot mess
your chin a puzzle piece with my shoulder
my fingers running wild
down your spine while I hold ya

Honestly I wouldn’t mind spending
the whole day right here beside ya
my only time wasted
would be in your eyes

Analyzing every single inch of you
sure to myself there’s only one like you
our eyes are closed, and hearts are open
every bit of what I was hoping

Figured  there’s nowhere left to look, cept’ I
found you near to me, so near to me
how would I know you’d become
so dear to me, so dear to me

If you leave, leave to come back
I’ll wait up at night, out there in the pitch black
promising there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

Passed up on something like this before
thinking that was the one and only door
til’ there she was, holding it wide open
grabbing my hand and telling me there’s more

There’s more out there for each of us
past our reach, but awaiting our touch.

There she was, like any given day
corner of lark, spare change and she’ll play
whispering words of life, love and beauty, to a tune
Thats always been hers

She’s got her degree, four years in Tennessee
sharing her heart with the listeners,
the strangers, and with me  
working her way up the musical tree

Nothing’s easy, she knew it,
better love it, if you choose it
something to work for,
has a certain amusement.

Remember watching silver stars wondering
what were doing with our lives
caught up in these endless nights
windows down on freedom drives
Never been immersed in silence
what’s a life without noise
but a moment to yourself
missing out on life’s hidden joys
this is one of the things we did right
played our music loud and
kept our futures bright
because someone ought to
so as we sit there like we do till early morning
up beside the railroad light
we decide it’s worth the wait
and more then just the fight

Been sittin here for awhile
looking over shoulders,
on my tiptoes tryin to see
if you’re still there, staring back at me
with those eyes, those eyes of a hazel sea
getting lost in the morning commute, casually.

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
Maybe a little superstition’s
all we needed this time
***’ luck’s a coin in mid air
and there’s no time for that, dear

So, excuse me, miss chai tea
I don’t have much direction, just so you know
my words come in bunches and sometimes
they move a little slow
see this makes sense to a guy in my shoes
full of pride, but usually not enough to approach
a girl like you
in this cafe, on anyday
cross the room or a table away

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
So much for setting plans in stone
wake up one morning and they’re gone
long gone, like your cares and the sun
replaced by the moon, not a moment too soon


It’s just that your eyes were so inviting
they had my head and my heart fighting
worried you turn me away
and tell me to keep waiting
that one day I’ll meet another like you
what do I do if there’s only you
what do I do when all I see is you
what do I do, do I do
with this
with this love I have for you

Well here’s my hand
it’s yours if you want it
i’ll close my eyes
and wait for you to want it

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
Maybe a little serendipities
all we needed this time

There’s no rush here
I’m in no rush dear
time is yours if you want it
this beaten heart
is yours if you want it
all It needs is some love
And I encourage you to start it

Though this might be too soon
this love’s a full moon
It’s not going anywhere, it’s
been here for hours and its not even noon
we can wait till we wake up tomorrow
and you’re looking around for some clothes to borrow
maybe last night was a sign to stick around
maybe last night was when your love was found

Here’s a promise I made myself
long ago, long before
I really understood the meaning of
love

Promised myself I’d love with a full heart
without the fear of watching it fall a part
that if it had to break it wasn’t meant to be
but I’d keep these eyes open ***’ there’s a world to see

Can’t bottle up inside, you need air to breathe
Promised you that night, you’ll never watch me leave
So I told you I was gone, and the cars parked on the street
left the keys on the letter about where to meet

Remember that old park back by the fields
where we used those trees as our shields
the only place we ever knew to be alone
alone with one another and the stars

Back's on the ground, your head on my chest
our eyes open, shutting out the rest, tonight
***’ it’s you and me, and were alright
we can exhale, we can breathe
we have a place to stay, theres no reason to leave