Scars last longer than *** does but the thick scabs of injury only remind me that I'm alive While *** is a torture Often a short lived peak in my existence A faint taste of what satisfaction May feel like if I were to Love myself the way I love you
I'm so lonely i could ***** There's no one to talk to Not for lack of trying No one understands me I wish I could sleep forever I'd rather risk the nightmares that come than the disappointment of having no one.
If you had a feeling that something wasn't right like you were being abused, manipulated, and disrespected all behind your back by someone you love what would you do?
I love you Im sorry I know that I make things hard And that I often hurt you I question your love so often When you've given me no reason to I'm not going to give reasons or excuses for my behavior I will only apologize And hope that you'll still love me hereafter.
In my dream I broke a vase I tried to apologize but no one could here me Then i saw you I tried to explain It was mistake You looked me in the eyes "One mistake too many" That's when I realized The its not that the others couldn't see me Its that they couldnt stand me And they left me
In my dream I was 2 hours late to work When i showed up they all looked at me I told them there was an emergency I tried to call but it never went through They told me i was fired I when i called you I was in tears You said it was my fault You said that this needed to stop "the crying?" i sniffed And you said "us"
In my dreams I am left alone In my dreams i am a burden In my dreams I am afraid Even though When i am awake You swear i have nothing to fear
Streams of salt water flow Heavy breathing heavy heart Shame me for that I don't know Steady beating Steady start when the red rivers run slow When I am pleading And the night is dark
2:00am I cannot fall alseep My lips are dry I've came once unsatisfying
3:27am I've had half a glass of vernors The rest is sitting next to my bed warm and flat I can't get comfortable I have too much room in this bed It makse me feel vulnerable
4:18am I went to the bathroom When I got there i didn't have to go anymore I went back to my room Only to have to go back again.
4:30am I can hear my mom coughing She hasn't been feeling well lately
4:37 am I can't stop thinking about how she cried today Or is it yesterday I guess the next day doesn't start until you sleep
4:39am I made her cry Im trying to remember what you said About it not being my fault I struggled with it
5:30am Another unsatisfying ****** Viewed some **** It wasn't what I needed I closed my eyes for awhile That was unsatisfying too
6:47am I try thinking about why you stay Or why you'd think I'd leave Why you claim to love my body claim to love all of me
7:15am I Sent you a silly text. You haven't replied yet I feel stupid
7:38am I logged into Facebook Updated information Looked though all your pictures You don't look how I remember you in these I don't like it We don't interact enough here Your ex is all over your page though I should log out
8:03am I hope you mean it when you say I'm better than the rest A better cook A better friend A better support system Better for you
One hundred sixty seven days until I am allowed to feel love
Until passion is in my vocabulary Until my skin may burn like a hot summers day But I know that the sun is not the source of the heatwave in the South where the love is a sweet and slow molasses.
For I hail from the North where the love is cold as each set of eyes and you think that if you cry enough the salt water may turn to ice.