You asked me to throw it away just as i
finished lighting my cigarette.
The tip burning the nicotine as the fumes
turn us to a mere silhouette.
You love me, you said. You only don't want these
**** things take me from you.
I believed you then as much as i want to tonight
but i learned you're something killing me too.

Being happy and having no right to be unhappy are two very different things.

I know your name, and i know a fraction of who you are and what you carry.
Yes i know your name, but not quite aware of the whole story.
A mystery all to familiar, a mystery I've grown quite fond to think,
grown rather fond of not understanding on how my emotions start to sink.

How can you love what you cannot know? Where affection seems to dim down.
Why could my emotions be sinking in the reality I am trying to drown.
Breathing in the fumes of uncertainty, I exhale my last breath.
A mystery between happiness and grief, a life in the brink of death.

What lies behind those enigmatic smile remains a mystery to me,
as I realize the sad truth I only fell in love with the idea of what we can be.
I loved the idea of you, despite the fact you were never who you've been.
I've grown fond of the person I have never even seen.

Now I ponder on the great unknown, a mystery from afar.
Within insanity, but the Enigma seems all too familiar.
A mystery I'd rather not uncover, I'd rather not find on the gems above
since the mere knowledge of not knowing is enough for me to have.

The Enigma too taunting yet too precious to be known.
The mystery keeping me awake at night.
My beautiful enigma, better left unknown.

"We merely coexisted
almost met but always missed it
spinning around like two sides of a coin"

You say you know me yet you’ve only ever seen my smile
And not the letters I’ve been sending my skin for a while.
The hieroglyphs I carved to let out the screams I’ve been hearing
Like fogs clearing out and about to filter the words I’ve been saying.
You’ve heard my laughter going softer as the days turn to an endless night
As I recite these verses repeating curses killing the lights ‘til I’m out of sight.
You don’t know me, you never wanted to.
You had a clue but what could you do? Even I never wanted to know me too.

I’m a kitchen sink clogged and overflowed by my own tears leaking.
Feeling hopeless and dying as I let some more spill out through bleeding.
Overflown with emotions, I motion it with caution slowly across my skin,
Overthrown by this notion, this knife giving life to the Me I’ve held within.
Inside the four corners of my room my locked door seems too out of reach
As I give my wrists red ink on each to write in light what I truly beseech.
You know this, I know you noticed. You just wish you didn’t.
And I wished I hadn’t let you but I wished for what I couldn’t.
I’m alive and I just wish I wasn’t.

You know me better than anyone but you choose to look past through.
Now I’m rebuilding these walls taller and stronger just for you.
My sleeves covering up my screams as it seems to keep them back in their den.
I couldn’t stand knowingly showing you my insanity. I  don’t ever want to hurt you again.

I’m sorry.