I was never an evil being
just morbid
worn
detached
but now that I'm older
I can feel this dark spite
slither up from the pit of my stomach
into my veins
and seep out through my eyes
So I bite my tongue
because I don't want to hurt you
but unfortunately
I'm venomous

i won't tell you
what it is i'm feeling
i'll just look at you
through the corner of my eye
and the demon inside of me
will point and howl
while i pretend
to fill voids
with happy thoughts
so i'll try to think about
what my smile would be like
if i had one.

Trying not to be alone
But it won't do me any good
The way I'm made
You wouldn't love me if you could

I don't have anything that belongs to you
Not a single stitch
I want to wear your wrinkled shirt to bed
And put your black hat on my head
To pretend you're here with me

I don't have anything to say to you
Not a single word
I want to smell you lingering on my sheets
And bite your sweet skin between my teeth
To pretend you're dear to me

Meant what I said when my voice was scratchy and distant
Eyes rolled to the back, losing life
Musn't linger on the last angry syllable
He is trying to catch a swift glimpse of surprise
Hold on, should we?

The deeper the fall the longer the ride
Apathetic, hasty days full of fevers and nicotine
Like the rhythmic steps on caramel-coated pebbles
He's lost his touch and drained the globe
Break down, will we?

Silly little advocate, hold your tongue so it won't spread
Levels adjusting to match the beloved pavement
I have begged you to stray from that wicked attempt
Porch light is out, he has called in sick
Crumble up, must we?

Dying to tell you
how hard things have been
Dying to tell you
I haven't loved again
Dying to hear you
still think of my eyes
Dying to hear you
regret those goodbyes