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Mauri Pollard Mar 2014
I wanted to write a poem about the empty way I feel today.
I tried but after minutes of staring at a blank sheet of paper that's how it ended up.
Empty.
You're breaking me.
Mauri Pollard Feb 2014
There never was anything beautiful about
caribous or
lesbians.
That's what art is for,
and good thing he hates painting.
But he likes foul mouths and petite girls
and Chevy trucks.
So I cower in your presence and let your anger shoot inside of me.
Anger like lava or acid or the liquid of hell.
It seers through me.
It seeps into my veins and
sponges into my cartilage and
threads through every tendon in my muscles and flows over my heart and stomach
and boils me from the inside out.
You may be his sound board,
but you're nothing more than a ***** he uses to make me jealous.
You may have been in his mind for the night
but only because I was busy.
You may think you're wedging yourself in between him and me
like a tick
but you're only giving yourself
Lime's disease.
I hope you rot from the inside out,
starting with your black heart and ending with your
poisonous lips.
Let the buzzards eat your liver
and I'll devour your soul.
Please don't take him just because you can.
Mauri Pollard Jan 2014
Why?
Why did I think of you under
red and blue and yellow last night?
I never dream of things that **** me.
Why?
Why did you leap into this world I've created?
I banished you by mistake and you threw away the key on purpose.
Why?
Why did I imagine your beautiful icy
eyes and tousled golden hair?
Your body was cold and your lips were stale
so
why
Why did I have to believe for two nano seconds that you had
released my own guilt?
Those rapid moments pressed searing pain across my heart,
over the wound I already burned into me.
Why?
Why do I need secrets weaved in between the binary code of "how are you?"?
You want to know
why?
Never come back again.
Mauri Pollard Jan 2014
Once, you told me to write a poem about your love.
The crashing and demolishing and devouring
blue lips.
I tried, I promise.
But how do I bury what I did underneath water?
It floats to the top. Always.

Once, you told me to let my soul speak,
but it kept its ignorant mouth shut.
Now it's wailing and pining and crying
out for you,
but it stayed quiet much too long.

Once, you told me if I drifted away,
you would stay with me, laying on the grass,
the moon glowing and gleaming and smiling.
But you left me on the cold
September grass,
although the bitter air feels more like
November or
February.

Once, I was scared of falling asleep-
of Darth Maul and Aardvarks and little boys.
So you ran past trip wires and over laser beams to be with me-
my dream catcher-
but the back door.
You forgot the back door.
A few months later it happened again,
but this time your parents didn't call.
They think you're on a life preserver
this time.
Little do they know how blind they are.
That life saver is headed straight
to jagged rocks.
I a watching.
Still. Always.
A tiny drop in the dashing blue and
foaming white.
A tear drop.

Once, I told you my heart is an ocean of secrets,
and a few months later you found out exactly how.
And you cried thus filling our ocean with more salty drops.
Later, I filled it with my own.
And somewhere, somewhere in that vast ocean, spread out over miles and miles, both our teardrops are running around.

Once, you told me to write about salt water.
The waves and the tide and
capsizing boats.
So, now, when I think of the ocean,
deep blue, caverns, untold mysteries,
I think of you.
Well, after one and a half years, I finally wrote it.
Too bad you're a million miles away.
Mauri Pollard Dec 2013
He thought a long while
about the weeks.
Recent weeks, weeks long past,
weeks to come.
Time was always a forgotten necessity.
Cool blue water hardly
protects anyone.
Who knew? Who knew?
Not him.
He dreamed while bathing in the dimming August sun-
about silk strewn across the floor and
betrayal and
the blinking emerald
eye of a cyclops.
Forever was a thing he idealized.
So were flowers and people and her.
and the way he looked at her-
as if the world could stop turning
yet he would be content to just
bathe in her presence forever.
His life was idealized,
the green paper, the sneaking lies,
the stiff men that pressed buttons
buttons
buttons.
But if he could grasp this one thing,
this dainty flower, he could have real satisfaction.
he was dreaming and grasping
and then the phone rang.
But he didn't answer it.
Mauri Pollard Nov 2013
I am small
compared to all these super novas surrounding me.
Because who knows the name of the light that stands next to the North Star?
Who knows the face of the one holding the spotlight on the dancers agile body.
Who even sees the girl huddled inside the blanket watching the tan girls play soccer.
I am small.
I am forgettable.
Tell me the specific things you love about me or don't tell me you love me at all.
because love without reason means nothing.
a wretched habit that shreds my heart into thinking
"I am small, I am forgettable, I am not enough."
Mauri Pollard Oct 2013
"I used to write."
She said in a melancholy voice.
"I used to draw and read and think.-
I used to be a writer."
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