Do you remember when you said
That a man’s heart
Was a straight forward thing
A simple thing
An open thing
And how much you envied me for it
Do you remember
That I just didn't answer

First in handfuls made of grit
Gripped tight
Small and sharp against his skin
Its bite
Then
In the dark
Thrown high against the window panes
Of those deep in sleep
Their dreams haunted by the sound of rain
As he grew braver
Stones
Smooth against his fingers
Thrown at strangers in crowded streets
For no reason
Other than
The satisfaction
Of breaking skin
On hands and cheeks

A sudden exposure
To unstoppable decline
In someone who for years
Has lived in Christmas cards
And fading eight by tens
Brought into sudden sharp relief
By family ties
And how to handle
The witnessing
Of memory and self
Stripped bare
The slow unfair unravelling of time
Still it’s best to hide
Behind my own uncertain way of feeling
Don’t aggravate the schism
Between the grown man
And the child

It's because the trees are bare
I wonder if it still makes your heart beat
That little bit faster
Or have you put away your love for winter
No longer any place for it
No point to it
Now just something else about you
Best left unresolved

When we can have the thrill
The rush
The pull
The push
Who would give in
To the
Happy
Ever
After

At some point
The year will start to sleep
The leaves will change and fall
Before their slow turn to spiders webs
They'll bleed their colour in to the ground
At some point
The year will end
We'll hold hands
And promise things
All the while knowing
We'll turn slowly in to spiders webs
We'll bleed our colour in to the ground

Time will not heal you
Only convince you it has
Will not give you wisdom
Only show you
Exactly who you are
So why not spend it on words
Of how you've loved
What you've lost
What you wish the world was
In this
There is some comfort
While you wait
For the sucker punch