When I saw her I believed in our future,
I saw how we could be,
and I saw how we could fall,
When I saw her I knew that I would gain a friend,
I knew that I would fall in love,
with her smile,
her voice,
but I didn't know everything,
I didn't know that I would love,
her smarts,
the way she says things,
one month,
then I can hug her,
and never let go,
one month,
and things will be different,
she will understand how I feel,
And I will understand how she feels,
one month exactly

I always knew she would fall in love,
But not in that way,
She loved the words that healed her,
Fixed her heart and brought it back,
But not the mouth,
The voice behind the words,
He loved her,
But to her he was a drug,
One that didn't cost money,
Just a broken heart,
She used up his words,
Made his heart whole,
He loved her
Until one day,
When she didn't need him anymore,
She was better,
So she left,
And broke the heart that fixed her,
He loved her
But she didn't really love him
She loved the words

I always thought I would die before my time,
I always thought that I'd never fall in love with anyone else,
I always thought my friendships would last forever,
I always thought...
that was the problem,
I thought,
thinking is a gift and a fatal flaw,
thinking destroyed my love life,
but I passed freshman year because I thought,
I always thought that I always needed to think,
until something changed,
after the change,
my thoughts became irrelevant,
instincts became primal,
and all feelings were lost,
thinking brings emotions,
and emptiness,
thinking brings happy memories,
and devastating ones,
thinking brought you into my life
and it took you away,
I always thought that we'd be forever,
I always thought of you,
Thinking is the reason I lost you,

Sometimes I feel like death would be better,
better than how I live,
what I do,
what I see,
It's a way to release the pain,
from him,
from her,
from you,
It's become too much to stomach,
to do nothing,
like a spectator in my own like,
I see everywhere,
but I also feel,
the happiness,
the graces of life,
and also the insecurities,
the hurt feelings,
the broken heart,
and the pain, that's just the becoming more and more,
overwhelming is an understatement,
it hurts,
like I've just broken up with a girl but never get over her,
that's the reason for release,
of my mind,
of my heart,
of my body,
of my pain,
that's the reason,
for my death

She's different,
like a light breeze on a summer day,
like that flower that blooms first on a Rose bush,
she's the girl that walked into my heart a few months,
the girl I can't remember meeting because every moment with her so special,
some say she's loud,
others say annoying,
I just tell her she's beautiful,
that I love listening to her talk,
nobody's perfect,
but she's close,
but she dates the wrong guys,
and doesn't see that I'm standing right here,
I didn't know what love was until I met you,
because I love you

I write for myself,
Selfishly,
To decipher my thoughts,
To understand my feelings,
I write for closure,
Blissfully,
To shut out the ghosts,
I write to rediscover,
Painfully,
To remember her face,
To hear her voice in my head,
I write for myself,
Selfishly

Sometimes life is confusing,
Sometimes life is hard,
Sometimes life is like a picture,
A group of people that have worked so hard,
To create such a false image,and in that moment it's good,
Sometimes it lasts,
Sometimes it crumbles,
Unless it's preserved,
Like pictures are,
We live in a world of sometimes,
Sometimes we do one thing,
Sometimes we do another,
It's just how we live,
Sometimes we understand these things,
Sometimes our minds can't comprehend them,
Sometimes