i know that you wanna take me some place special in you
But why does this walk feel so lonely?
Why does it feel as though everyone is my opposition?
Feels like in every situation im losing
I know i must aline myself with your plans being that i dont have one but just gibe me signs to let me know im not alone in this fight
God i pray that you surround me with people who have a common goal in mind
People that will give me godly advice and propel me to my destiny
God i ask that you aid me in being a difference maker, because i realize that i can make a difference in so many people's lives.
It feels as though when im at my lowest point thats when i can hear him the most
But what about when im on a high
Do i still hear his voice?
Do i choose to listen or do i tune him out?
Because in order to affective i cannot have selective hearing

I know you teach your children the importance of forgiving and forgetting without holding grudges yet this time its hard for me to do.
After all the sacrifices i made, after the countless time i gave in and just went with it because i was mind. I guess God what im trying to say is that im pretty sure you were the one in my ear saying dead weigh dead weigh & now that i adding 1 plus 1 im finally getting the answer. My eyes are finally opened no more time wasted. I apologize for abandoning you. I know you never have or will abandon me, but its hard when you do right by everyone and at the end of the day its like one, they dont appreciate what you have done and two, it feels like some either throw it back in your face or do some **** ***** ****. Its razy how you have a friend and you do the most for them and then you turn your back and they take from you after allowing them into your spot the same ***** you smoke with almost every other day. Someone once said that everyone cant go where your going in life and i see people dropping like flies year by year. God i just loose faith some times because its like your created me in your perfection and i strive at least when it comes to getting your will done and when you look to the left and look to the right and you see complacency. All you hear is talk of this and talk of that but no work is being down no outreach or what is done is done at a half a pace. I get frustrated because people dont put in the effort required to get the job done

What is a father ?
Is it someone who takes you to a baseball game or to a football game ?
Or is it someone who instills life lesson that last even past his years?
a father is someone who makes sacrifices for the well being of the ones he loves
Being a father means going without just so his family can have
Someone who will give his last
A father is one that teaches his children the importance of prioritizing
The importance of saving
The importance of chasing your dreams and not settling for status quote

What if he didnt recieve the love and attention that was needed?
He wasnt taught love
Nor did he hear it often
He saw a distorted picture of love by buying materialistic items to prove love

Not realizing that you cant put a price tage on love
So ow he sitting scratching his head because of years that s what he thought was the answer to love
How is hat possible to not be taught love living under a roof where the man of the household was a man of the cross
who teaches his congregation that God is Love
Maybe if he showed interest in the things

What if she hurt him by playing him over and over again
She started a vicious cycle of heartbreaks
And he wonders why he treats the one he loves as she doesnt even exist

You ever wanted something that was bad for you?
People want after things which aren't good for them
I wanted this
I needed it ike a human needs water to survive.
Yet it was toxic
Almost like a tree that bares no fruit
But everything told me that it was  a work in progress
He said how can I get you where I need you to be to do my will when your distracted when I don't have your full attention

It felt as though time was moving slower then normal. As if I was on a pill that made everything seem as if it were in slow motion. For the first time in my life **** got real no this wasn't a petty this time where I was hot boxing my car and got pulled over and they searched my car. No this time it was different and for the first time everything was out of my control
The phrase " please put your hands behind your back you are under arrest " rang in my ears it wasn't the first time I've heard that phrase but this time it was different. Over and over i ran the statement in my hrad yet I didn't know wat I could do to save myself. So I called one of the only people I knew that could possibly rescue me.
As I sat in the backseat of the car something told me everything will be alright but was I certain or was I just trying to convince myself

Have you ever gotten into a car and as your riding as a passenger u imagine possible car accidents

Feeling the impact depending on how you paint the picture of how you perceive your fatal death


Taking on the impact as though its reallly happening

Have you ever been afraid to get behind the wheel of a vechicle because you think that something bad might happen again  

Sleep seems almost impossible regardless of who the driver

Whenever you nap and feel the car turn or change lanes u think that the end is closer then u think

But at the same time u know that there was a reason why you made it this far when so many people counted you out early in the game of life.