All from you, every last shred
of my natural state, the tendencies by which I’m led
How can one say to another,
“You’re odd and make me uncomfortable... so I won’t love you brother.”

I won’t strive to understand or with your differences sympathize
or turn my judging lens toward my inside.
For you have a large speck deep in your eye,
and good thing I’m here to judge and criticize,

for your weaknesses bother me,
and I expect from you better,
I’m here to dot your vowels
and make sure you cross your letters.”

What do you have that has not been given you,
from our dear King Jesus above?
Oh Lord help us treasure You more than ourselves,
and abide in Your sweet and unconditional love.

The Elephant of Everyday comes stomping through my door
roaring and tromping and crashing about
blowing his trumpety horn

the prowling Panther of Performance
from the closet slides into the room
and circles my bed, growling, as he passes my head
hideous goals he lets loose

the Snake of Selfishness and Self-Centered Living
slithers from under my bed
he slides up the frame and under my sheets
as he curls up and warms my feets

the Black Lion of Pride struts into the room
strong and boasting and loud
living with no help, providing, perfect
telling me how I'm not him

the Otter of Overwhelming Panic
slaps into my room, jabbering and fretting about
running into my desk and my chair and my walls
worrying and biting his ever shortening nails
trying to find his way out

the Shadow Lady strides into my room
eye contact trying to make
the envelope pushes, seduction gushes
objectification she offers me to take

first I try to kick and pry
the snake off of my legs
but he tighter clings and up my torso climbs
his scales piercing my sides

with a snake on my neck
I sit on my bed, my feet touching the ground
and kick and shout at the panther as he
around me continues to prowl

he slashes and bites at my feet and legs
cutting and gouging my flesh
the panther still fighting, I manage to rise
and focus on the Black Lion of Pride

he sees me coming a mile away
and talks me to my knees
I yell and scream 'till I am hoarse
and shake as I weep bitterly

as I kneel, below me runs
the otter, stammering anxiously
I chuckle with malice as he bumbles away
misery loves company

quickly I jump up, out of the way
of the Elephant of Everyday
I kick his foot as he continues to thrash
he does not notice, or even sway

I turn around and face to face
the Shadow Lady's eyes
back me into a corner as I
fail to look away, but feebly try

so on my knees I whimper and cry
as the Gorilla of Guilt comes in
his padded feet near, his thick body looms
as he raises his huge tight fist, to close the tomb

I deserve this I've fallen
I'm no use at all
I can't uphold myself
on whom can I call?

I'm ****** and broken
inside and out
I fight and lose
then I cry and shout

"Stag of Solace, come near to me
I fail at fighting, this is my plea
thrash these menaces, clean my heart
I want to feel near you, never to part"

immediately, a rumbling sound
came from the hall, increasingly loud
they looked at each other, anxiously
then watched the door, slowly backing away

the Stag of Solace smashed through the door
splintering, crushing, a wood shrapnel shower
through the door and into the roaring
Black Lion as, through the window he's rammed,
slashing and crying

strong, poised, graceful he stood
his sharp eyes narrowed, eyeing this zoo
slowly the animals backed away
into the darkness, for now, to stay

his fur was short and sleek and brown
he wore compassion, ivory peace his crown
he came to me, I could not look
he lifted my eyes, bade me come
his shadow, protection, I took

To me he whispered:
my child you strive, you fight on your own
you think you can do this, you can not alone
your sin will never separate you from me
I save you, I purify, I set you free

he nuzzled my forehead
my wounds went away
he spoke once again
this time to me and the fray

the day is coming when I will return
to get rid of the zoo, it will surely burn
for you no more wounds or tears or fear
those things that burden you, never again, will be near

look and wait, for when I come
I come to save and restore
it will be done

until then you will have
trouble when you run
but take heart, for I am near
I hear you, I answer, I have overcome

he nuzzled again and strolled to the door
turned and looked, and let loose a fierce roar
charging away, he powerfully ran
his echo in my head, "I will help you be a man"

and slowly I got up and began to dress
thinking upon the Stag and me
his sin filled, ugly, made beautiful mess

I will still, to my dismay
entertain this masquerading zoo
but the Stag is in and with me
all things he makes new

and I fight and lose and strive to this day
but because the Stag of Solace helps me
I shall never, not ever, be put to shame

Drip, Drop, Drip Drop,
The bucket sloshes,
The old woman kneels
To clean the threshold
of the ones she serves

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop,
The bucket sloshes
She thinks on her past
And her life and her hopes
her dreams, her last
husband long gone
her friends who’ve been near
her enemies who’ve hurt her,
those she holds dear

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop
The bucket sloshes,
She washes away
She sets herself to work
and begins to pray

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop
The bucket sloshes,
As she moves down the hall
Her heart, it labors,
as she scrubs at the floor
the billows of her breath
begin to bore
into her hands
she can work no more
she needs a small break
to labor without work

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop
She weeps for those who have not drawn near,
For those who are hurting, and lonely, and fear
She will stay forever, in her master’s doorway,
She would rather die, than never have stayed

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop,
The bucket sloshes,
her made clean heart aches,
is comforted by
a sovereign king’s ways
trials and terrors and toil and sin
good he has planned,
don’t let uncertainty win

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop,
The bucket sloshes,
She goes back to work
To labor and love,
The last to the first

El amor es una cosa muy bella
es una cosa que no entiendo
sobre que no puedo poner mi dedo
de que quiero correr por miedo
pero, la felicidad en mi corazón solo puede correr en un dirección
a ti

No tengo la decisión
Había hecho para mi
¿Por quién?  No sé.  
Tengo miedo, sí,
pero solo hay una mujer a quien quiere correr
y es tú
solo tú

La verdad en mi corazón es objetivo
¿Mis temas?  subjetivas

Quiero su amor, solo sus abrazos, solo sus besos
Solo tú

Habías robarlo a mi corazón,
no sé cómo y no sé cuándo,
pero lo tiene

¿me gusta que lo tiene?
Si, tengo miedo, pero es un facto
Mi corazón es contigo.  

¿Puedo decirte todo de este?
No, no puedo, hasta que estamos casados.

How can I move with a paralyzed heart?
Alone, yet surrounded, I want to depart
From this painful world and my sickening sin
An otter with no tail, a fish with no fin

Men what are we doing, with our daily lives?
Work, triviality, I struggle to survive
Shallow relationship, isolational fervor
No ability of account, or unashamed vulner

What is the purpose of our daily lives?
Sharing our lives with our work?  We can thrive
Doing that will complete the task
And leave us fulfilled, but it will not last

Does what we do care?  Can it embrace and rebuke?
Encourage us to Jesus?  When we just don't want to?
Can we be vulnerable with it, and it with us in return?
Or will it light a match, and watch our world burn?

It's either God and people, or what you do and don't do.
Only one can carry you through.
One points to Jesus, the other to you,
Our object of faith or a rotting old shoe

I have no one daily, in my life
To encourage me, love me, lead me to Christ
And so alone down this path, lonely and straight,
Death accompanies, and ahead, death waits

I am a dreamer, and shall I not dream?
Of heroes and villains and warriors unseen?
Of battles to save the helpless and oppressed
Of Dragons and quests and maidens in distress

Of heroes being so not because of their gifts
But because they do what’s right, no matter the rifts
It will cause in their lives, till death will they part
From the internal pursuits that engulf their heart

How can this world offer me anything?
When I’m dwelling in the depths of hearts
Or soaring on eagle’s wings?

Ahh Valentine's Day is here,
the florists will bustle,
the suitors will scheme,
especially, purposefully,
to make themselves clean

the worry, the fear, rejection, heart's seared,,
the conquest, the prize, the look in her eyes,
the candies and rings, and many shiny things,
leave them all wanting, with no stability near

I have a romance, too big for this day,
throughout, every moment, never to sway,
that is the romance that I will tell you about,
I long for you, pursue you, do not have a doubt

My eyes are set, on the bride I want
I see her, I lead her, I long, to her, flaunt,
She comes down the aisle, ragged dress, beaten, free
When I look into her heart, it's my Son that I see.

So because of that one thing
I will never her leave.  
I put him there, I sustain
a good work, I will complete.

The day I marry her, the inside will be
adorning the bride, her anguish relieved
I will never, not ever, because of her dress,
abandon her, leave her, because she's a mess

So until that day comes, I will tell you this tale,
of my bride who I love, who I will never fail
In the storms, she may hide
in the boats deepest space
but I will walk on water and through glass,
to be by her side.

To be all where you are
is not as easy as it seems.
For when the poisonous asp of "could be" and "what if"
sinks his fangs into your skin,
the venom takes you to a bad cloud land,
a carousel of dreams.

Round and round, up and down,
jostling and bumping and bouncing around.
No distance covered, no progress made,
you've fallen into the lie of the Prince Masquerade.

The lie is subtle, easy to believer,
much easier than work,
seemingly to relieve.
But dizziness comes when spinning too fast,
nausea and chunks, it won't be your last.

Paralyzed you lay, on this spinning death ride,
"did you ***** up", "What now should you try?"
"Is it better over there, greener on that side?"
Or is where I'm at OK, the best for my wretched hide.

Optimization, efficiency, the lot,
all come hurtling at me as I enter the shop.
Come, this is better, the best, I am sure.
Focus on me, not God's leading, or that you've been bought,
focus on your flaws, your sin, and your doubt.

Jesus, in you, is my only hope.
I don't know how you could care for and lead such a dope,
your word has promises that quiet my soul.
May I turn to you, and may you restore me (my fear, doubt, guilt).
Make me whole.

What is, is.  And what could be is not.
Do what you're called, do it well and a lot.
Look not behind, forget it, it's gone.
Look forward to Jesus, he will lead you on.

Cold and empty
Yearning to feel
love for people
and my God as I kneel
in this unstable heart
to tremble with fear
that it will always be this way
no rejoicing to hear
in this cavernous heart
at my insides I tear
“feel oh soul!” “love!”
away my icy sin wear
oh God of my heart
my unshakable love
who is stronger than
my irrepressable tug
of war within this fickle
broken heart,
at war within, my God
stronger thou art.

The tears are dropping in the depths of their hearts
Unseen they fall into weary worlds apart
From the lives that they live with rifles and war
Bloodshed and horrors into their growing bones bore

And fused into their youth
is the poisoned embrace of slavery
that beats them and slays them
with no hope to be free

Decaying their heart,
a burned leprous scaled refuse
no one to save them
with nothing to gain or lose

So tonight when you tuck your daughters in to sleep
The beautiful precious children that God has given you to keep
O appointed leader, help restore to life
the children who are dead, but have not yet died

Please our great leader
Do something for them
Reach out your strong hand
and the bars of oppression bend

At the foot of the bed,
a pair of lace, gently resting side by side,
are waiting for the slender toe
to creep inside and hide

She gently prowls and waits around
until the light is dim,
your eyes are weary, your strength is faint
Do not let the Shadow Lady in.

She coos and soothes, seemingly
to say just “what you need”
And promises what she can not give
do not let the Shadow Lady in

Leave the room, turn the Light,
Throw her shoes through the side glass door
Do not let her feet, into her shoes hide,
The Shadow Lady’s Slippers do not abide

Out the window I gaze
Illuminated by cold
Keeping warmth at bay
I am a child of my age

Out the window I gaze
With thread held hope
Slowly it begins to fray
I am a child of my age

Emotion void stare
Into the unsatisfying
Leaving more empty than I came
To myself I’m lying

Trading up in this heart
Requires the outside
Needs greater pleasure, greater joy
In his shadow to hide

With a deep sigh I stare into the mirror.
How did I get here?  
Things used to go so well.
It never used to be like this.
I never used to be like this.
Things used to be different.
Should I blame myself?
Or others?
How do I get out?
What should I do?
Answers?  None.
But there it is, staring right back at me.
Has it always been there?
It’s a realization that I have spent most of my life trying to ignore.
It’s a realization that I have spent most of my life trying to cover up.
It’s a realization that I really don’t want to believe.
Yet there it is, staring me in the face.
I have problems.