How can I move with a paralyzed heart?
Alone, yet surrounded, I want to depart
From this painful world and my sickening sin
An otter with no tail, a fish with no fin

Men what are we doing, with our daily lives?
Work, triviality, I struggle to survive
Shallow relationship, isolational fervor
No ability of account, or unashamed vulner

What is the purpose of our daily lives?
Sharing our lives with our work?  We can thrive
Doing that will complete the task
And leave us fulfilled, but it will not last

Does what we do care?  Can it embrace and rebuke?
Encourage us to Jesus?  When we just don't want to?
Can we be vulnerable with it, and it with us in return?
Or will it light a match, and watch our world burn?

It's either God and people, or what you do and don't do.
Only one can carry you through.
One points to Jesus, the other to you,
Our object of faith or a rotting old shoe

I have no one daily, in my life
To encourage me, love me, lead me to Christ
And so alone down this path, lonely and straight,
Death accompanies, and ahead, death waits

Cold and empty
Yearning to feel
love for people
and my God as I kneel
in this unstable heart
to tremble with fear
that it will always be this way
no rejoicing to hear
in this cavernous heart
at my insides I tear
“feel oh soul!” “love!”
away my icy sin wear
oh God of my heart
my unshakable love
who is stronger than
my irrepressable tug
of war within this fickle
broken heart,
at war within, my God
stronger thou art.

The Elephant of Everyday comes stomping through my door
roaring and tromping and crashing about
blowing his trumpety horn

the prowling Panther of Performance
from the closet slides into the room
and circles my bed, growling, as he passes my head
hideous goals he lets loose

the Snake of Selfishness and Self-Centered Living
slithers from under my bed
he slides up the frame and under my sheets
as he curls up and warms my feets

the Black Lion of Pride struts into the room
strong and boasting and loud
living with no help, providing, perfect
telling me how I'm not him

the Otter of Overwhelming Panic
slaps into my room, jabbering and fretting about
running into my desk and my chair and my walls
worrying and biting his ever shortening nails
trying to find his way out

the Shadow Lady strides into my room
eye contact trying to make
the envelope pushes, seduction gushes
objectification she offers me to take

first I try to kick and pry
the snake off of my legs
but he tighter clings and up my torso climbs
his scales piercing my sides

with a snake on my neck
I sit on my bed, my feet touching the ground
and kick and shout at the panther as he
around me continues to prowl

he slashes and bites at my feet and legs
cutting and gouging my flesh
the panther still fighting, I manage to rise
and focus on the Black Lion of Pride

he sees me coming a mile away
and talks me to my knees
I yell and scream 'till I am hoarse
and shake as I weep bitterly

as I kneel, below me runs
the otter, stammering anxiously
I chuckle with malice as he bumbles away
misery loves company

quickly I jump up, out of the way
of the Elephant of Everyday
I kick his foot as he continues to thrash
he does not notice, or even sway

I turn around and face to face
the Shadow Lady's eyes
back me into a corner as I
fail to look away, but feebly try

so on my knees I whimper and cry
as the Gorilla of Guilt comes in
his padded feet near, his thick body looms
as he raises his huge tight fist, to close the tomb

I deserve this I've fallen
I'm no use at all
I can't uphold myself
on whom can I call?

I'm ****** and broken
inside and out
I fight and lose
then I cry and shout

"Stag of Solace, come near to me
I fail at fighting, this is my plea
thrash these menaces, clean my heart
I want to feel near you, never to part"

immediately, a rumbling sound
came from the hall, increasingly loud
they looked at each other, anxiously
then watched the door, slowly backing away

the Stag of Solace smashed through the door
splintering, crushing, a wood shrapnel shower
through the door and into the roaring
Black Lion as, through the window he's rammed,
slashing and crying

strong, poised, graceful he stood
his sharp eyes narrowed, eyeing this zoo
slowly the animals backed away
into the darkness, for now, to stay

his fur was short and sleek and brown
he wore compassion, ivory peace his crown
he came to me, I could not look
he lifted my eyes, bade me come
his shadow, protection, I took

To me he whispered:
my child you strive, you fight on your own
you think you can do this, you can not alone
your sin will never separate you from me
I save you, I purify, I set you free

he nuzzled my forehead
my wounds went away
he spoke once again
this time to me and the fray

the day is coming when I will return
to get rid of the zoo, it will surely burn
for you no more wounds or tears or fear
those things that burden you, never again, will be near

look and wait, for when I come
I come to save and restore
it will be done

until then you will have
trouble when you run
but take heart, for I am near
I hear you, I answer, I have overcome

he nuzzled again and strolled to the door
turned and looked, and let loose a fierce roar
charging away, he powerfully ran
his echo in my head, "I will help you be a man"

and slowly I got up and began to dress
thinking upon the Stag and me
his sin filled, ugly, made beautiful mess

I will still, to my dismay
entertain this masquerading zoo
but the Stag is in and with me
all things he makes new

and I fight and lose and strive to this day
but because the Stag of Solace helps me
I shall never, not ever, be put to shame

The tears are dropping in the depths of their hearts
Unseen they fall into weary worlds apart
From the lives that they live with rifles and war
Bloodshed and horrors into their growing bones bore

And fused into their youth
is the poisoned embrace of slavery
that beats them and slays them
with no hope to be free

Decaying their heart,
a burned leprous scaled refuse
no one to save them
with nothing to gain or lose

So tonight when you tuck your daughters in to sleep
The beautiful precious children that God has given you to keep
O appointed leader, help restore to life
the children who are dead, but have not yet died

Please our great leader
Do something for them
Reach out your strong hand
and the bars of oppression bend

Out the window I gaze
Illuminated by cold
Keeping warmth at bay
I am a child of my age

Out the window I gaze
With thread held hope
Slowly it begins to fray
I am a child of my age

Emotion void stare
Into the unsatisfying
Leaving more empty than I came
To myself I’m lying

Trading up in this heart
Requires the outside
Needs greater pleasure, greater joy
In his shadow to hide

All from you, every last shred
of my natural state, the tendencies by which I’m led
How can one say to another,
“You’re odd and make me uncomfortable... so I won’t love you brother.”

I won’t strive to understand or with your differences sympathize
or turn my judging lens toward my inside.
For you have a large speck deep in your eye,
and good thing I’m here to judge and criticize,

for your weaknesses bother me,
and I expect from you better,
I’m here to dot your vowels
and make sure you cross your letters.”

What do you have that has not been given you,
from our dear King Jesus above?
Oh Lord help us treasure You more than ourselves,
and abide in Your sweet and unconditional love.