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Matthew Orchoski Mar 2012
we don't know our own minds
if we did....
our minds cant connect
if they did....
IF is what sets us apart
and yet we still live in a fantasy
many don't get what goes through my mind
I'm good at what i perceive to be normal
but normal isn't what I need
to panic is weakness and to watch it is pathetic
when we are restricted its chaos
unrestricted is unknown
why is are there rules, guidelines are paths to deprivation of life
I cant express enough the overwhelming questions that are always going to be unanswered to the point where it answers itself
I found it
and i cant recollect how I came about
my story starts before
before i could tell
so my story ends up with one that is greater
in myself i feel stronger
I understand myself more than ever
and the possibilities are incredible
when i break things down i realize whats there and it seems so easy
the world ticks
people move on
this will only be a land mark
just a land mark in their mind but
they don't know
its over their heads
to the point were I am alone
alone...
Matthew Orchoski Mar 2012
Destinations. Practical
yet my unsatisfied being
awaits an anticipated surreal opertunity
Discouraged by my chances
my hopes stay high
I will rise up against my chances
so my destinations are practical
Matthew Orchoski Mar 2012
unpleasant gestures fill the room with tense passion
why do you do it and how does it work
my sorrow is great undetermined to whom
answers untold will linger and lurk
accused of the truth stops me in my tracks
questions firing but the answer still lacks
should i come clean
or should I stay on my track
my mind kept locked by the way shell react
stuttering for time
stuttering for you
i enter my mind searching for a clue
my awaiting epiphany hides in discretion
until the bridge is gapped for the end of suppression
but the overpass gives out from the absence of speech
and my conscience will slowly be unwound and breached
truth, like water flows over my bridge
carrying the broken pieces over my figurative ridge                    
as the truth rushes through it brings with it remains
of the untold lie that will soon be named
or perhaps renamed as my self proclaimed title

is that how you see me
thats not who i am
youre blinded by hate
my lie started little
but ended too great
so dont drowned in my river
charge at it with force
swim through it with trust
and open the doors







............
Matthew Orchoski Mar 2012
In general the idea of oneself is false
people change,
personalities stay behind with the people you meet
and, return once you see them again
all closely related but never the same
I find myself unknowingly playing this game
this act can hurt, even break up relationships
however the ecused can be completly blind
the mixing of cliques can be a rude awakening
friends can be strangers
people change.
Matthew Orchoski Mar 2012
Heavy burdons of unknown reality
slowly haunt with great abundance
twisting and turning my conscience insane
on the verge of sure unlimited pain
stand up to my fears is what I was told
but restricted by authority, won't let me unfold
like a spring being compressed, it always springs back
pressure on pressure builds on my soul
the only aliviation is consequencial
unless the heads are turned in an ignorant direction
limitless power, overwhelming agression
is my key for the cause of endless depression
satisfied, in content my soul has been lifted
my spring has sprung

— The End —