I remember a time
when I ate the world
You were there too

One bite was all it took
For all the dirt and water
to be fully consumed

I think I vomited afterwards

A heated car
is humming in the driveway
You can see that the lights
are on from outside
It's dawn
The sun has not been fully shown
It's still dark
But the light is rising

Wet leaves adorn the pavement
I'm at your front door
My heels on wet wood
You're not fully dressed
You're eyes,
not fully open
I'm waiting for the words
You are as well
I've been waiting for this moment
all of my life
For you
To come with me
Our lives to start
The ones we have planned

And now I find myself
at a familiar place
Again I am waiting
The car behind
You in front
And the inevitable sun
slowly rising above this all

I won't leave now
I'll cry when it's a mess
I'll keep on pretending 
I'm a *******
I guess
To the pain of my own life

I can see how this ends
It ends with you walking,
Me crying 
Of course you won't change
You never have
I never could

But I'll be wallowing
With the tears,
I'm swallowing
And in a way I'll be happy
With the way
This was meant to be

You have to hate yourself
And you have to hate your body
As well

Ew, do NOT like
That photo of yourself
I like it
But you can't!

Today my MacBook wouldn't start
I killed myself right there in my room,
Staring at the black screen
And just as I was breathing my final breath,
The screen turned white
And appeared the Apple logo

Elsewhere and beyond
is where I plan on being
Elsewhere is lovely
this time of year
And beyond is even
lovelier

I made a reservation
It’s all set in stone
Or at least it’s on
the internet

I’ve packed my things
in a little brown suitcase
Everything is in it
but one thing is not;

My heart

Forever wavering is the weather
Proportional to my emotions
Up and down,
the beat won’t stay
The weather changes
in a similar way

It was warm yesterday
Bringing promises of sunlight
Today, however
brings freezing rain
and not a sun in sight

I thought I saw a shimmer of life
in the form of yellow light
But a storm cloud covered it through
And a little part of me,
it covered too