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Sep 2014 · 603
Real friends.
Just because I don't have friends doesn't mean I don't need them.
I am not used to giving a ****,
But when given the chance you might find that this mechanical man is more then human.
Don't say I'm damaged cause I was born this way.
I'm autistic but don't insult my intelligence,
My mind is just adorned this way.
You have a habit with not being nice to males but I'm not just a male I'm a man who gave a hand in friendship knowing you were broken.
My stance sticks firm and stealed of except acceptance but how far can it get against the free flowing mercury of irrationality.
It's poison.
I was a master of chemistry and you can't wield mercury and steal and expect a stable relationship.  
Add any temper to the mantle of that and the fumes coming off will make you sick.
So don't insult my intelligence and tell me that you were in the right when all my foresight told me to go against this.
You said you would care if I cared so I lowered my defenses.
You said that you were a lier, but with you I always knew what was true because..
Face it, I use more reason then you.
So with this friendship I got burned.
It's what happens when you play with fire,
This time I learned.
Not to trust a pathological lier.
My advice to you,
Reach your aim a bit higher.
And calm down, cause a cool head makes for a better lier.
Jul 2014 · 450
oh dear Mecha Man.
His heart made of wires and wheels, i call him mecha man, never to understand what it ment to really be a man.
He is a stranger, life never in danger for he is stronger then thee, not clouded by the cloud of emotion.
Life is error, never to give a care, where what or why, mecha man your soon gonna die, that is your fate, not gonna lie, no one cares.
Dare you dream mecha man, your life is obscene mecha man,  a assortment of wires and failed dreams, but you dont dream do you?
If i were to stab you, you wouldnt scream would you.
Mecha man your not alive, you have a pre conceived expiration date, why wont you die, mecha man you hold on, tell me why?
Is it cause you crave morality,  is it cause you crave a peace of human immortality.
You are a peice of machinery,  my Edward scissor hands, your designed to replace a man and wifes son.. for fun, your programed with autism.
Your so close to human but it cant be done.
So listen here mecha man. No one will love you mecha man, cause you cant love. Your quest to be human is long been done.
Mecha man, living contradiction,  dead and alive, failure number 1.
Have you ever danced with the devil on a pale moon light?
The light was just right to disguise the blades of love,
As you swing along nothing matters but the song and how fast you decide to take it.
Faster, faster faster, the future is here in this night, this 3 year tear of dedication,
Hearts beating faster, then *******, and ******* seeps....
Blood and anger and passion and fighting creeps down the front of your chest and a mess of what you made...
But remember you took her hand and made the dance so many make but there so many breaks, partners exchange but you went deranged and kept yours. And with a steps exchanged your heart stains the beauty of the moment, if you had just left it at home, you would have returned whole... kid.
But no you were impatient didnt listen to your parents, so the pain you got, you gota face it....
Tough break kid.
Now your sitting here with just the passion, to that demon you want to go harassing, knowing that she will have you *** in, i mean *** out but your mind will be splashed out, high and dry as you bleed out, making you want to plead out and cry... but you know that from this pain you want to lay down and die.
But you wont cause your a man like that... suffer in silence, internalized violence,
Wanting a reason why the devil did this, pleading and crying hoping for a witness but to no one you can reveal this.
So...when they asked me.. Have you ever danced with a devil on a pale moon light?
Of course i have... I was in love.
Jul 2014 · 318
Another sad poem.
I feel drowning,
these words make me feel like frowning,
but with my reality turned upside down do you only see smiles?
with these shoe's that are forced to walk miles, could you wear them for a bit?
Could you carry my burden like horse on human back, saddled with mouth on steering bit.
Can you help save me from this desperation of concentration that fills me with frustration till perspiration making me want to leave this body in desolation,
like Baghdad my feelings are desolate and depleted,
my thoughts have retreated and through mistreatment im alive and thriving but sometimes i wish i was dying cause sometimes being strong wears me down...
you know i wear this upside down frown so you can see through your subconsciousness that sadness is apart of me.
Your eye gives your brain an upside down picture and then your mind makes it into what you would rather see.
Can you fathom my reality?
The deep dark abyss of insanity.
Can it be the man of the hour is depressed, yes it can! but can you blame me? I mean with all this so called sanity that placed before your eyes causing illusions of grand mass panic, into grand mass Hamic's but shhhh, dont talk to loudly the little boy is just sleeping soundly, see hes not dead, i just found him, he is still alive and will come around but just give it time,
its only been four days since he last took a breath....
Now look at whats left of me, of we and you wonder why i yearn for death. With this body so full of breath but i count the seconds till there is no more left,
cause your illusion, i dont fit there and you shall be eluded until there is nothing left.....
so take a look at my smile and turn your reality right side up and put what you know to the test.
and you should see that my shoes have no more miles left.
Jul 2014 · 331
Love note 2 a friend<3
Is it only strange i can only laugh when i see your pain.
That your blood on tile stain is a type of beauty to me.
When the blood is drained from your body in the most inhuman way i can say your perfection,
without a detection of life,
see.. no more strife,
you have no more suffering,
so let me end your pain along with your life.
Can i do that favor?
Can i take my hand with saber and sever your head with out a quickness.
I want you to feel this,
i want to see you find peace in your pain as i look in your brain to see what makes you tick
as i look into your eyes and see the life in it that makes me sick enough to retch.
your death will be my blessing to you....
those who gave me the strength to terry through by putting weights on my back and clipping the wings of my soul.
So dont ask for whom the bell tolls, cause the bells toll for you.
Ringing loudly in your ear as i chisel away,
your brain rotted away long before i took it out.
And while your still alive,
ill work quickly to rip your heart out so you can see you had one, but instead of using it for love,
you clipped the wings of a heaven bound dove,
can you even stand your face in the mirror?
just look into the eyes of the one you undone as i take yours out and hold them at eye level,
make you watch as i smoosh them with the shovel.
The irony.
Your going to be so beautiful in time you see..
But im just here waiting to die, cause i have a job to do.
To prove you wrong a time or two.
Because my soul lies with you, it will be forever perfect, with a body forever ugly, but its because of you..
with much love, your strange friend.
It only matters if you care.
If a tree falls and no one is around does it does it make a sound?
If i were to die tonight would my body be found.
Profound thought processes that make me think that my existences is proficient and special but in truth im just a cosmic spec of dust that will be forgotten in the infinitesimal cosmic pool of time.
Where it wasent divine will that makes me human swine
but just random chance,
my existence should be a crime.
Thinking that im able to exists,
to actually be remembered by you few who i have met in my life,
the joy, happiness,
pain and strife i have caused.
But the clause in this existence is that all that ever existed will paused.
My life as easily ctrl, atl, deleted, replaced, rebooted, depleted, the longest and best thing i can be is food for worms,
and thats the only thing that inspires me.
When these words tired, week, ended and forgotten,
i would be long gone,
corroded and rotten
and that future doesnt look so bleak.
When no matter how profound this poem sounded,
how upset, or confounded you become...
trying to find meaning in life...
is well dumb... when everything you know will succumb to time,
and then time will succumb to itself when no one is there to record it..
Your existence is all in my head, i swear i recorded.
But with time those images become distorted and courted and then with time.. erased.
Displaced, abandoned and mis-traced.
So many faces,
names and places gone,
i just want to be remembered
for some one to hold on..
A little piece of immortality,
a little piece of immorality,
something so dastardly you couldnt help but remember,
but sadly the reality of my simple existence is thus..
my existence is a random bust,
a popped bubble with no ripples,
the concept of infinity is some where around the idea of that simplicity existential connectivity that makes us thus.
I shall die and that is the end.
No one will care, and....
it wont even matter.
Jul 2014 · 399
Red Pill or Blue
He said the choice is up to you..
red pill or blue.
The decision is as simple as waking up or staying asleep.
But what would you do if fact were weirder then fiction.
When one is not limited by diction but by how complex they can conceive.
Meaning if you can dream it, you can be it.
So you tell me to build a better dream.
But i like facts, figures and numbers that are true..
they never lied to me..
What about you?
How can i function in a world of imagination,
with autism strangulating my creativity to that of pure productivity.
I like what i do and humans to me are a mystery.
But when you tell me machines rule our reality,
how can you expect me to not elate,
how can you question my morality.
Oh the humanity...
by gosh Alice, i think i lost it.
But lost in the matrix i find it kinda nice here.
I find i like this glitch,
this rock,
this stitch,
my success,
my riches.
My life,
my existence that the machines gave me because i made my do.
I didnt seek for answers of the heart,
i found my peace in the age old nursery rhyme, 1+1=2.
So when it comes to pills,
ill make do...
with blue.
Cause sometime..
reality is what you make it.
And id rather put a bullet through my head and live forever... in the dream.

— The End —