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Matthew Garcia Nov 2010
I interrupt my thoughts for a second.
I need to analyze the situation.
Now I'm just contradicting myself...
I can't tell what my point is, there is no understanding of reality right now.
Distractions cease to come to me.
I am stuck in this infinite loop self-thought.
Is any of what I am thinking making any sense?
Who's to answer such a question?
I am the judge of makes sense and what doesn't.
I know the answers to my own questions.
Too many questions.
Time hasn't budged.
I am the only thing distracting me now.
I am now without thought...
but that's impossible?
If I am clear of mind how am I able to process these words?
Just because someone is clear of mind does not mean that someone is without thought.
There is no such thing as absent minded.
I have lost feeling in my legs and my arms.
But my hearing has increased ten-fold.
I can distinguish every single sound from each other.
I don't know which sound is loudest or the quietest.
I don't even know which sound I like the best.
This is incredible. It is Beautiful.
I can't believe what I'm doing is illegal.
No need to get political.
No need at all.
In life stay neutral for as long as you can 'til you have to pick a side.
Well what side do I pick?
The one that's right.
The title in apostrophes is a song by The Flaming Lips
Matthew Garcia Jun 2010
I sit here,
trying to write my masterpiece.
Or is it just a piece to master your heart?
I don't feel that I am taking advantage.
But rather, I am gaining a point of vantage.
So I can watch you...and gauge you.
So I can gauge your feelings, if any,
for me.
But I cannot tell you what I see.
There is a cloud of ambiguity,
surrounding you.
What do I do?
Do I send you this masterpiece of ****?
This is my vantage point, this is it.
This is how I can tell, if it'll be heaven or hell
with you.
Matthew Garcia Jun 2010
Breathing is normal,
appetite is aberrant.
All sounds are ambient.

....I
am
still
here.

Lost in time;
unaware of reality,
but aware of my sanity.

...Am
I
still
here?

Senses have risen
and failed
My mind is jailed.

...Will
I
stay
here?

Jailed but liberated,
I am one with everything.
My heart begins to sing.

...I
am
not
here.

— The End —