Can't sleep

A waste of life as you say its just so ****

Sitting and thinking over each wasted bit

I remember when I was 44
I'd met a girl from dagenham

She opened my car door
Jumped in

A smile and a kiss pure delight

Blonde hair beautiful eyes that shone in the light

Thought she'd look at me with such fright

To my amazement she came for a date on that night

Walking and cartwheeling through the fields and sunny gates

A curry all down her and breaking the plates

This girl I remember is so ******* great

I so excited for our second date

A nice room in a hotel only the best will do

hours of passion making love through and through

9 o'clock came and a meal just for 2

Clumsy this girl she dropped this one too

A walk down the sea front holding her hand

Amazing exciting I couldn't have planed

Now kissing on our balcony heart twitching could it be love

Then came the thunder from the heaven above

The storm so powerful and raging became

All I remember is her smell and her name

A year or so passed with our trips far away

My heart now in full tangle even on this day

Now I've skipped a few details I don't want to bore

But my love will never break of this please be sure

My life is passing like a speeding unstoppable train

84 and an old man and lonely with shame

The shame that I have is the girl I once lost never seen again

If you read over you'll see I didn't mention her name

As promised over and over with no witty retort

I swore to this girl she'd be my dying thought

To have loved her for 40 years but still lonely and in pain

Knowing she is loved by another with no name

Lying in my bed eyes closing tired and ready to depart

*** my darling I'm not ready to leave you still have my heart

If I have to re live the days of my life

My only regret would be your not my wife

Now in heaven I'm waiting at the pearly gates

One and All passing by me my family my mates

And eternity I've waited

For  you to arrive your not coming your a queen a dianisis forever alive

I'm purgatory I now realise forever feeling numb

I wonder if you remember
What dreams may come

Take care my darling thanks for your time

I'll always be sad that your no longer mine