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Matt Roberts Dec 2012
I don't know what it feels like to be whole. I've always felt like there's something missing from me. It's like I'm a 1,000 piece puzzle put together on a white carpeted floor with one piece left out, but the piece that's missing is a snowy white piece in the middle of a blizzard, so no one seems to notice that this one piece is missing. No one seems to notice but me, and with every day that goes by that one little missing piece seems to become more and more integral to the overall landscape that this puzzle tries to piece together.
Matt Roberts Dec 2012
Somehow, someway, in some alternate universe
I'd like to think you're reading this
I'd like to think you're thinking of me
I'd like to think we're together tonight
keeping close to stay warm
taking comfort in one anothers embrace
laying in the dark staring at the stars
that illuminate the sky
going on long pointless drives
at 2 am to nowhere in particular
drinking early morning coffee
only to spend a lazy day in each others arms
somewhere I'd like to think things are different
but right here I'm stuck on repeat day after day
and every 2 steps forward is 4 steps back.
Matt Roberts Nov 2012
She sees blindly, selectively.
She sees the man whos arms are the only place she feels safe, not the violent brute who beats her if she breathes to loudly.
She sees her friends who care about her more than anything, not the people who complain to her constantly, as if they've forgotten they have working ears.
She sees a job she loves where she gets to help people, not the one where her boss feels her up & tells her if she says or does anything, she's fired.
She sees the man in the elevator who says "good morning ma'am" every morning & "good night" every night, not the man who stares down the revealing shirts her boss makes her wear to keep her job.
She sees the man who helps her wash her car, not the man who spits at her window & calls her a ******* ***** because she accidentily cut him off.
She sees freedom & a way out, not the gun.
She sees blindly, selectively.
Matt Roberts Oct 2012
So he asked her why they'd even moved
to California in the first place
if she hated the heat
so ******* much.
She looked at him and said
"I hated the heat,
I still hate the heat,
but I loved you more.
I LOVED you more".
Matt Roberts Oct 2012
I've been living my life without you for so long
that I can't seem to remember
what it feels like to have you here.
Sometimes I forget you even exist,
not that you're no longer alive,
but I forget that you were legitimatley ever here at all,
but I always seem to remember you
here and there.
I'd like to think this life would be easier with you here,
to help me through the days like these,
to tell me that I'm important,
to make me feel there's a meaning to this,
all of this,
any of this.
You are the reason I can never bring myself to say
any of those words
I always wish I would've heard from you.
Matt Roberts Oct 2012
I saw you today for the first time in years.
You were stopped at a red light
and I pulled up behind you.
You were driving his car with him
in the passenger seat
due to his dui arrest
from a few weeks ago.
Your windows were rolled down
and I could hear him
screaming at you about some nonsense.
You were silent as you looked at him,
eyes off the road,
hoping for an end to the noise.
I saw the tears streaming down your cheeks
in the reflection of your rearview mirror
and watched as you put your head down on the steering wheel in an act of hopelessness and defeat.
I guess I finally know what he's got that I don't.
I guess now I finally know why he's so much better than I am.
Matt Roberts Oct 2012
I don't have perfect hair
I'm not 6'2 & 190 pounds
I don't have bright teeth or a six pack
my eyes don't shine through a darkened room
and I'm far from photogenic
I forget more things than I remember
I have no special skills or discernable talents
my skin is pale and full of holes scars and ink
I feel uncomfortable out of place & awkward
in almost almost all social situations
I'm slightly paranoid & always afraid someone somewhere
is judging me
I rarely get anything on the first try & I often lose faith
before I accomplish what I've set out to do
I'm my own toughest critic & believe that
I'm average at best if even that
I may not be all that I'm supposed to be
but I might be everything you may never find
in someone else
so with all of my flaws faults & shortcomings
of which there are many
my heart still beats
and I can still manage
to love you all the same
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