As I sit by the heater on a cold winter evening
I cast my mind back to the summer
When the skies were blue and the trees in bloom
When it felt like anything could happen
I remember sitting opposite you
As you smiled and played with your hair
Looking into your unspoiled wonderful eyes
As you gazed back into mine
As we talked I hoped it would last forever
Forever
Autumn was fated to come
As the leaves fell and the sun began to fade
The light behind your eyes faded too
Summer warmth just a memory
Now met with icy looks and cold words
Once I felt I could tell you everything
Show you what dwelt deep within
Now it feels like a stranger greets me
I can hardly recognise the one who once held my embrace
Now I'm left just hoping
Waiting for the spring
When the flowers will blossom anew
When the clouds will part and the sun will return
And I'm left just hoping
That you'll return too

Returning back to this town
The place I find so familiar
But after travelling so far
It seems so bizarre
Walking down the same old roads
Past where I used to live
The memories echo through my mind
But I see it now in a different light
After waving goodbye to the place I love
Set sail for a distant land
A whole other world, thousands of miles away
Where the mundane, to me, became surreal
And now I've returned
I don't think I'll ever see home the same again
And I wouldn't change that, not for the world

As I sit here on my own
Staring at the posters in my bedroom
Can't escape the thoughts in my mind
Picturing your beautiful eyes
Knowing that you're so far from me
Knowing you're half the world away
Remembering the last we spoke
The way you smiled made my heart jump
Remembering how it felt when we kissed
The way I couldn't contain my joy
And as I sit here on my own
Stuck back in the same old room
I close my eyes for a while, and wonder
If on the other side of the world
You're sitting there, thinking of me too

Don't know how you cannot see
That the person you wish to be
Is already stood in front of me
Blinded by the fog of doubt and fear
Just keep waiting for you
Maybe one day your eyes will be opened
And what's so clear to the world
Will finally be revealed to you
Maybe you'll understand
The desire, the sheer ecstasy
The feeling of gazing into your eyes
And beyond their clear blue sparkle
Lies something much more pure
That has taken over my very thoughts
And ignited a passionate flame

Temptation greets me once again
The way your presence is felt around the room
I can't avoid the gaze of your beautiful eyes
Although I know it will lead me to ruin
I feel drawn to you like a moth to a flame
My mind pulls one way and my heart another
And I cannot help but wonder if you feel it too
But still I tell myself that you'd never betray him
Despite these things you whisper when no one's near
Those forbidden things that are only for my ears
I run to find the door but it's nowhere to be found
I realise now that once again I've fallen for you
Ship set sail on stormy seas yet another day
I suppose I'll have to play the waiting game
Praying for the day the rain will pass and leave blue skies
Praying for the day I can leave all of this behind

Silence deafens me as I lie on my side
Out of the light, the darkness is where I hide
I stare intently at the bathroom mirror
Past the stains and fractured glass
I see my demons face to face
Shame of failure, always the case
I always find myself back in this place
This dismal scene, so far from home
Surrounded by people, but still alone
From the outside, they'll never know
Spent too long submerged in darkness
The sunlight blinds and burns my eyes
I only wish you could understand
Follow me as I take you by the hand
Take you on a tour of a nightmarish land
The sole inhabitant stands before you
I see the fear and disgust hit you too
Screaming and clawing, trying to avoid
Fight it now, before it takes hold
Before the past is but a hazy memory
And the future, a terrifying void

Getting closer, when I should pull away
Can't bring myself to close the door
Can't look you in the eyes anymore
It's never happened like this before
All these things I'd like to say to you
Wondering if you feel this way too
Or if you even have the slightest clue
But to tell you would tear us apart
Keep it locked away inside my heart
Maybe in another time and place
Maybe if we could have some space
Maybe then I could look into your eyes
Without this sinking feeling of disgrace
I wish I could tell you this face to face
Didn't mean for it to end up this way
I feel it creeping in, the rust and decay
But I know deep down, I cannot stay

Lying next to you
We don't say a word
Enjoy the silence
Caress your soft skin
Breathing gently
You smile in your sleep
I close my eyes
Take it all in
In case it's the last time
Live for the moment
That's what you'd say
If you were awake
And not blissfully dreaming
The sounds and smells
Linger in my mind
When I open my eyes again
Night has turned to day
Autumn leaves are falling
And the sensations I felt
Are now a world away
Maybe you should know
When I lie on my own
That sometimes I wish
I was still next to you

Flashing before your eyes your life unfolds
Racing by, reaching out for something to hold
Faster than the speed of thought
It crumbles to dust, all that you've sought
Our lives are like footprints in the sand
At the mercy of the changing tide
You can deny it but you can't hide
Buried deep within you the truth resides
Searching for order amongst the chaos
Without it you'd be alone and lost
Trying to outrun your destiny, no matter the cost
All this I know, the burden weighs down on me
But there's more to life than this, I also see
I'm no genius, I'm no brave fighter
Just looking for the candle, to make the darkness a little brighter

New dawn breaks across the sky
The sunlight's creeping in through my curtain
The first rays of light hit my eyes
A better day is coming, of that I'm certain

Knowing what I know today
I've seen sunshine, and I've seen rain
No use in being brought down by dismay
There always has to be another way

Stormy clouds aren't here to stay
Now I've finally found my way

The sky's not always bright and blue
Can't deny this, I know it's true
When there's nothing around but wind and rain
I keep going, I have to make it through the pain
On the other side, I know the sun will shine again

Inside
I remember the touch of your skin
Inside
I remember you lying next to me
I guess I thought it was meant to be
Oblivious to what everyone else could see
All it took was for you to call my name
Didn't understand I was just a pawn in your game
Now I realise that I'll never be the same
You've changed me in ways I can't explain

Inside
I think of all the harsh words I said
Inside
I wonder if it still troubles you, at the back of your head
I hope you're far away, moved on to new shores
You've left me feeling like I've never done before
I've asked for forgiveness, but only in my dreams
My guilt overflowing, gushing in streams

One day maybe I'll let you see
Just what's brewing inside of me
Only then will I be set free

Grasping for the light high above
Trapped in the icy depths below
Crying out to whoever's there
Caught in a situation we can't escape
A landscape of agony and despair

We've come too far to turn back now
Changed beyond recognition by our struggles
Our friends and families cannot understand
The fury, the pain, the sorrow they see
But the can't know the rush and the thrill
They'd never forgive, or feel what we've felt

We set out as strangers in a foreign land
And returned home even stranger still
We ventured deep into the recesses of hell
We suffered, we endured, but we survived
The cost for this was higher than we'd thought
Burdened by the darkness we'd overcome
A part of our souls until the day we die

Eyes gaze wearily across the horizon
Tired and burdened by what they have seen
Cold sun creeps across the wilderness
Ancient ruins torn from their foundations

Walking slowly down an endless hallway
A thousand eyes turn and stare
For all my strength and will, my only creation
Towers above me, a monument to despair

In a colourless room, walls are closing in
Constricting and tightening, every day
Can't escape, this is all I know now
Can't escape, nowhere else to go now

Lying underneath the evening sun
Listening to the birds up in their trees
At once the world is frozen in time
Problems swept away by the summer breeze
Hoping we stay this way, forever young
Before winter brings with it a bitter freeze

Times like these life seems so simple
Just you and me, not a care in the world
Youthful and free, our lives laid out before us
Before the world comes bearing down on our shoulders
Before our hair turns grey and our skin begins to wrinkle

After all the summers may come stormy weather
I know this feeling cannot last forever
Clear blue sky replaced by pouring rain
As long as you're with me, I really don't mind
The sun will still be shining, deep inside

Once again I find myself so close to you
But you're just out of reach, it's always the same
Looking into your eyes, you're so far away
It's no fun anymore, I'm tired of this game
Never knowing whether my efforts are in vain
You never bring the sunshine without the rain
I cannot bear to tell you what I'm going through
For fear your clear blue waters would turn murky grey
Don't want to lose you yet another day

The time has long since past
The seasons have changed once again
Summer breeze gives way to winter winds
Watching the leaves as they fall
But your shadow lives on
Lingering in my room when it gets late
Even though by now, you're long gone

I didn't see what was in front of me
I watched as the ice and frost took hold
Leaving me alone out in the cold
Happening too fast for me to see
Until the day I gazed into your distant eyes
And heard everything you couldn't bear to say
And finally saw that neither of us could stay

I still don't know if you meant me harm
Stripped of my pride, completely disarmed
All that's left are echoes and whispers
Of what we shared, what we could have been
Drifting away slowly, like clouds in the sky
Until the storms melt away, and I forget the things I've seen

I see you standing before me
Watching my every move
My past has shattered like glass
As you judge all I've done and said
How I wish you could only see
The figure that confronts you
Whenever you gaze into the mirror

Past desires crushed beneath your feet
It's a different story now, nowhere to go
Sometimes I wonder if you once held
A lone candle inside your heart
Or if you merely came to enjoy the show
I realise now that I'll never know

In time your eyes become distant
Slipping away into the recesses of my soul
Going from two of a kind to strangers in the night
Until the day breaks over new shores
And I've left behind all that came before

Sometimes I feel a little frightened
Struggling through, avoid the unenlightened
Close to me I felt as your grip tightened
Until the clouds disappeared and the sky brightened

I've spoken words I shouldn't have said
And withheld the things I should have said
We've seen joy, and tears have been shed
But the fire burns strong, burns bright red

Forever doesn't feel long enough to say
What I really want, I'm not leaving, I'm here to stay
So sublime, only you make me feel this way
Like flowers our love grows, day by day

I see my future laid out before me
The twists and turns in the road
Dizzying heights and terrifying lows
I know I can't change the course now
That's just the way it goes

Some things I'll regret
Some things I'll cherish
Some things I'll never forget
The greatest things, I'll never expect

All the places I've ever been
All the people I've ever seen
Flash by quickly like lightning in the sky
I won't be sad to watch this journey end
As long as you're with me for the final goodbye

So cold
So cold in your eyes
In your arms
Found myself in this state
Tears of joy
Tears of pain
Found myself gone
Vanished without a trace
Caught within your grasp

So lost
So lost in your eyes
In your arms
Feel like I've lost my way
Can't escape
Here to stay
Without all reason
Still stood here waiting
For a day that will never come

I watch you slowly walk away
Walking over the hills and out of sight
I know you don't need me anymore
Life must go on, I need to rebuild
Not a word was said
Only the sound of the wind
Blowing through the trees

I watch you slowly walk away
Walking over the hills out of sight
I know it won't be easy
Running through the forest, hot on my trail
I can't stop now, I can't give up
Feeling like I'm struggling on
Just to survive, to see another day

I watch you slowly walk away
Over the hills out of sight
I'll never see those eyes again
I'll never hear your laugh again
Until the hands of time turn
And there's nothing but a faded picture
Hanging on the wall above my bed

Driving down a dark highway late at night
Running out of time, running from myself
All I can see before me is the moonlight
Slowly disappearing, fading out of sight

All I can do now is look back with regret
The story unravelled like I didn't expect
Trying to keep away, trying to forget
This loss is final, the future is set

Longing for the warmth of yesterday
Life played out in a better way
Carrying the weight on my shoulders
From now until forever
Hoping forever might yet hold a better day