As I sit by the heater on a cold winter evening
I cast my mind back to the summer
When the skies were blue and the trees in bloom
When it felt like anything could happen
I remember sitting opposite you
As you smiled and played with your hair
Looking into your unspoiled wonderful eyes
As you gazed back into mine
As we talked I hoped it would last forever
Forever
Autumn was fated to come
As the leaves fell and the sun began to fade
The light behind your eyes faded too
Summer warmth just a memory
Now met with icy looks and cold words
Once I felt I could tell you everything
Show you what dwelt deep within
Now it feels like a stranger greets me
I can hardly recognise the one who once held my embrace
Now I'm left just hoping
Waiting for the spring
When the flowers will blossom anew
When the clouds will part and the sun will return
And I'm left just hoping
That you'll return too

Returning back to this town
The place I find so familiar
But after travelling so far
It seems so bizarre
Walking down the same old roads
Past where I used to live
The memories echo through my mind
But I see it now in a different light
After waving goodbye to the place I love
Set sail for a distant land
A whole other world, thousands of miles away
Where the mundane, to me, became surreal
And now I've returned
I don't think I'll ever see home the same again
And I wouldn't change that, not for the world

As I sit here on my own
Staring at the posters in my bedroom
Can't escape the thoughts in my mind
Picturing your beautiful eyes
Knowing that you're so far from me
Knowing you're half the world away
Remembering the last we spoke
The way you smiled made my heart jump
Remembering how it felt when we kissed
The way I couldn't contain my joy
And as I sit here on my own
Stuck back in the same old room
I close my eyes for a while, and wonder
If on the other side of the world
You're sitting there, thinking of me too

Don't know how you cannot see
That the person you wish to be
Is already stood in front of me
Blinded by the fog of doubt and fear
Just keep waiting for you
Maybe one day your eyes will be opened
And what's so clear to the world
Will finally be revealed to you
Maybe you'll understand
The desire, the sheer ecstasy
The feeling of gazing into your eyes
And beyond their clear blue sparkle
Lies something much more pure
That has taken over my very thoughts
And ignited a passionate flame

Temptation greets me once again
The way your presence is felt around the room
I can't avoid the gaze of your beautiful eyes
Although I know it will lead me to ruin
I feel drawn to you like a moth to a flame
My mind pulls one way and my heart another
And I cannot help but wonder if you feel it too
But still I tell myself that you'd never betray him
Despite these things you whisper when no one's near
Those forbidden things that are only for my ears
I run to find the door but it's nowhere to be found
I realise now that once again I've fallen for you
Ship set sail on stormy seas yet another day
I suppose I'll have to play the waiting game
Praying for the day the rain will pass and leave blue skies
Praying for the day I can leave all of this behind

Silence deafens me as I lie on my side
Out of the light, the darkness is where I hide
I stare intently at the bathroom mirror
Past the stains and fractured glass
I see my demons face to face
Shame of failure, always the case
I always find myself back in this place
This dismal scene, so far from home
Surrounded by people, but still alone
From the outside, they'll never know
Spent too long submerged in darkness
The sunlight blinds and burns my eyes
I only wish you could understand
Follow me as I take you by the hand
Take you on a tour of a nightmarish land
The sole inhabitant stands before you
I see the fear and disgust hit you too
Screaming and clawing, trying to avoid
Fight it now, before it takes hold
Before the past is but a hazy memory
And the future, a terrifying void

Getting closer, when I should pull away
Can't bring myself to close the door
Can't look you in the eyes anymore
It's never happened like this before
All these things I'd like to say to you
Wondering if you feel this way too
Or if you even have the slightest clue
But to tell you would tear us apart
Keep it locked away inside my heart
Maybe in another time and place
Maybe if we could have some space
Maybe then I could look into your eyes
Without this sinking feeling of disgrace
I wish I could tell you this face to face
Didn't mean for it to end up this way
I feel it creeping in, the rust and decay
But I know deep down, I cannot stay