Dad hasn't been the same
since he found out about
                me
His eyes hold a deep sorrow
and the whiskey rarely sees
the cupboard anymore
permanently placed on
his nightstand where
my picture used to be
-
*He blames himself, you know

Laying on the springs of the soft new bed
Thinking about the future, what lies ahead?
Will it be perfect or the fairy tale ending?
But for now life is pending
Who’s to tell how it comes out to be?
Was I blind by what’s In front of me?
Was it lies you told me
Is it gonna be me through all this grief?
Or was it the truth?
I’d give anything for you to hold me and tell me I love you
Your lips against my cheeks
To feel you constantly
And your chest against my heart
With Our skins touching, let us make some art
Cause lately I’ve been so alone
And without you, it doesn’t feel like home
You’re my longing desire
I’m the sun you’re its fire
But why aren't you here with me now? Your Love is what a require
Just a little bit to inspire
So I can move on in life
Not stop it with a knife
Not wanting to die
But to be with you and together we can lie
Cuddled up together as time flies by
It’s already tomorrow and we’re still on today
There’s no time for sorrow there’s only time for me to stay
Let’s enjoy the time together, no other on our mind
Let’s walk away and hold hands and leave the others behind
In a big house made for us two
Where we can stay for the night and I can show my love for you
There may be other people like us
But were so different from the rest
These strong feelings so hard to express
That’s how you know I love you and you’re the best
Nothing less
It’s not a test
So lets forget the mess we made
And hold each other instead
And kiss until my heart fills with red
I can’t get you out of my head
Not a second goes by with out you in my thoughts
Without your love id be lost
Loving you is what I do evening morning and noon
Don’t leave me now it’s too soon

I've always fancied myself to be a care-free person
I never  give a hoot as to what people think of me
I know that I  am good inside, if others don't I shouldn't mind.
But there are certain words, insults, and phrases
That I cannot brush off, with a HAH and a cough
Things I tucked away, sent to bed years ago.
But sometimes these self-concious demons
Get up to ask for water.
"You're so aggressive"
I am not aggressive,
But I am not a swan princess, do not expect me to be.
"You're such a brat."
I'm am annoying when I am,
But I am not a spoiled 8 year old.
"You're so fake"
I am kind to all whether I enjoy their company or not,
I do not gossip. ever.

Do not make claims about my being
I know my faults better than those who observe them
I am working hard at them, to be a better person
I do not need help
There is no benefit when hurtful words are expressed
I know me
You know you
Why should you try and make anyone better but yourself?
If there was more focus inwardly on being a better person
No one would be sad.
Or bad.
Or self-concious, not even a tad.

Death shhhh Come to me I am sleeping Beneath this Leaf Shhh Forget me Quickly Put my cold Smiling corpse Among The twigs And dry leaves Aim your Magnifying Glass At my breast Until the smoke Becomes flame Until the flesh Becomes ash The ants carry Me away burying Me in the belly of Their queen Breakfast to newborn larvae Maybe they will Find my rhymes Enjoyable for a while If one more soul Laughs with me! Laughing in the face of death I leave to you here My last lines It is not so serious Fall in love Climb the tree Scrape your knee Shhhh I love you Forget me