there’s jet black smudges
where love used to be
on this piece of paper i wrote
about you
this isn’t about you
ash gray marks along the sides of my fingers
the tips still tender from your touch
muscle memory screams your name
this pen yearns for you
on this piece of paper i wrote
about you
this isn’t about you

you spilled your secrets onto my skin
writing pretty words along my collarbone
sealing them away with kisses
like promises
my body quivered in response
our interlocked hands much like our bond
how could i ever let go
i whispered stories into your messy brown hair
somehow they found their way to your mouth
smiling into my lips
unspoken understanding
the sun begins to rise
turning a page
we fall asleep amongst ink stains

soft curls spill over his face
like the solemn expression he holds
my unspoken emotion reflects
off of the gleam in his eyes
secrets dance across his lips
when he smiles
i want to be closer
than the prints on his fingers
i want to taste his thoughts
with only the tip of my tongue
whispering promises
that i haven’t made yet
i just want to know
him

i can hear them
whispering sweet nothings into my ear
pushing me under the covers
poking at my pupils until the tears flow
a paragon of desolation

i can hear them
sometimes they sound a lot like you used to
somehow i say
“i love you too”
pushed deeper under the covers
deeper in the crevices of my mind
the place you built a home in

i can hear them
can you hear me screaming?
voice cracking, shaky and shivering
i wonder if they can hear me too

i can hear them
i can hear you
ever since i became friends with the demons inside my head
i’ve been thinking about you

she is the sun
and i am the moon
she is a new beginning, the first stretch you relish as the world awakes, a steaming mug filled to the brim with your favorite coffee
always sweet, never bitter
i am the moon
i epitomize the loneliest hours, the inevitable end, shivers along your arm from a window slightly ajar
misery and company
you love me

but maybe
she is the sun
the brightest smile hiding her darkest secrets
and i am the moon
the comfort you seek within reassuring blankets and pillows

i am the moon
you are the stars in my sky
maybe you need me as much as i
need you

i find myself tracing the outline of your body
from when you laid in my bed
closing my eyes
feeling your warm embrace
as if you never left
i take a deep breath, hoping to tame my emotions
but instead i inhale the faint scent of your cologne
there are empty spaces in all the places you once were
there's an empty feeling in my chest since the last time i heard you say those three words
i still see you, you're a ghost
but this isn't paranormal
and with every ounce of longing in me
i can't believe my heart is still beating
in the most simplistic way i can express,
i miss you.

missing you comes in waves
engulfing me in our memories, our past, our future that never will be
the salty taste of seawater reminding me of the violent end
and just like that, the waves are gone
along with us and everything we were
the sun begins to set, tinting the edge of the waters with bright reds, bold orange
reminding me of the fiery passion that once radiated between us
the moon rises
everything is dark and all life is calm
maybe at dawn we could try again
maybe i should learn how to swim