The earth's bumping up against itself again
like the shattering ****** that left you laid out for the better part of a decade
it's pushing up against itself again
swelling into mountains, then sinking into seas,
taking every bit of energy in sight and ******* it down into the depths of its girth
I can relate
It only looks pretty when the lights are out
and then you realize, if all of those people that I haven't forgiven- that ravaged me, that consumed me, creating this desire to destroy at the cost of feeling alive
If I just gave myself enough respect to let go
I wouldn't be scrambling to make a quick exit, I wouldn't have left you devastated with expectation lingering in the air
I wouldn't have left you
I was a chasm
you were the sea
Now you know what it feels like to fall into me

Cleanliness is next to godliness.
The state of my room during my adolescent exodus from god would serve as the devil's side of the coin.
But, sometimes the details need to get shattered and scattered about until you see that the lord never left your skin.
Or hers.
Or ours.
Or theirs.
And when I touch you, I can feel the electric pulse of god coming home.
When I dance, I feel the lightning shooting from my heels into the core of the earth and back again to strike whomever is kept in their seat.
Together we are the holiness that arises underneath the sheets or within an embrace on this years worst luck day.
Religion begs to differ,
but together we are god and the details aren't important.

The pursuit of
oneness-
togetherness-
humanity-
is in the creation of something
for
everyone
and
everything.
the possibilities are endless
reach to where the individual creations intersect one another,
there you'll find a holy matrimony of pure unity.
the pulse that you feel when the ocean's current syncs with your heartbeat-
like the moon making love to the cave of your soul where you keep your chained desires of expression on hold for the moment when you finally feel the push of something that cannot be touched, seen, or controlled
free.
expression.

When I was seventeen, my favorite color was blue
We humans haven't been able to see the color blue until recently in our vast evolution
and seeing it now doesn't make us profound but it's a step in the right direction
Then the list began forming
What else am I seeing less of
My friend is by her bed sobbing at his soul's departure
and all I see is her heart's defeat
All she sees is the victory
that means
no more blue battered skin
no more concealing the outbursts of her mother-in-law's
single worst living and breathing regret,
no more blue skies watched from the window, stuck inside
But I just tell her that I'm sorry for her loss
Because I couldn't yet see her shade of blue
Her face was drifting
So I reached for the ocean and let it rock me away
Tell me a story
while I fall asleep to your baptizing sway
about the teal touch of a careful hand
the stark blue strike of a lover
and the midnight blue comfort of the house you grew up in
I want to tap into my synesthesia and hear your every word colored with your every pain, your every joy, and your every breath
I want us to see each other as we are,
not as we would like to be
Our blue veins sustain our lives
and our blue hearts aren't to be hidden aside
Let's stand in this wide ocean of many shades of blue and let us see it all

Won't you give me two handshakes
enough for my nervous body heat to feel your shivering sweat
and recognize the twinkle is behind our eyes,
but fear has taken the wheel tonight,
Won't you give me a blank glance from the corner of the bar
I like the way you stare with no pretense,
it makes my dress on the floor feel meaningless,
Won't you let our loveless embrace breed a warmth between our hips
and when you grab my hand I'll let my heart skip to your beat
and we can find affection amidst apathy
be bold with me

It was the day that you told me that I'm a liar,
that I have chosen to build up my falsities on the bones of people more truthful than me,
That I don't like myself enough to look into my reflection,
It was the day that I felt my bones shaking beneath the surface,
My veins turned into train tracks and I let the truth barrel its way through,
Now I'm a tourist under my own skin,
I no longer hide behind the missteps of other people,
And I see what I have done without judgement,
under a blanket of snow, in the winter waiting on the sun to defrost
and grow every bit of me new again

your plastic smile beaming
& your plastic champagne glass brimming
with smeared hot pink lipstick marking your spot

you never believed in sharing a soul with anything but glory
and when nothing is more important than what the people who aren't here

think

is happening, you can tell them what you like,
tell them about our seven minutes in heaven, and be sure to embellish
i'll keep the hell to myself

you keep all of my books that your friends ask about,
keep my grandmother's art on your wall,
my jewelry box from china on your dresser,
and the records that speak to my soul blaring from your speakers
because,
what am i to you?
what
am i
to you
?
just another shell containing all that you could be?

and like a roadside operation
you prodded and peeled back until you found what you wanted someone to see within you
i can breathe easy
because when you lose sight of who you are, i'll still be creating my own salvations from the dust you kicked up when you ran away from tough questions
god isn't found in the portions
HALLELUJAH