I'm willing to risk it
I'm willing to risk everything because
I can't hold it in
Because I love you
I've already lost you
What more can I lose?
I've lost the only person I think I will be able to love
And the only thing I'm trying to do is get through to you
That no matter how far you push me, I will be waiting...
Maybe, waiting wont get me anywhere
And maybe I will miss out on a huge part in my life
But I don't feel like I used to...
Happiness isn't the same anymore...
People might say I am crazy and I will agree with them, I am crazy!
I would never wish anyone would feel this way but I'm so glad that I fell in love with someone and I am glad that it was with you
We didn't have the perfect relationship or even close to a stable relationship but it was real
It was amazing to feel something new with you day after day
It was amazing to fall more in love with you from day one and even till now
It's the greatest gift
This may be cliche, hell I know it's cliche but that's the world we live in, a world full of cliches
People play out the words like "love" "admire", and all the things you hear and see in the media about this presupposed love, but I do love you and admire everything about you
I miss everything about you.
I miss the taste of your lips, the touch of your hands, the sound of your laughter, the way you look while you sleep, the wrinkles on your nose when you get mad and much more. I miss spending time with you, being around you, just watching movies and tv through the night, going places with you, and I especially miss having the privilege to spend time with you.
I want to tell you this, and yes I am scared.
I know you don't want to talk to me nor even acknowledge my existence anymore.
You told me to move on and I told you I would try and yes, there were also times when I told you I did, but I didn't.
How could I?
I love you and it will always be you. I don't know what it is and how you got me under this deep spell but in all honesty I don't want to ever break out of it.
I do hope you are happy, but I also hope you feel as miserable as I do every time you think of love, I hope you get sick to your stomach when you see people in love because I do.
I do feel miserable and I do get sick to my stomach because I miss that feeling that I use to have with you and I get jealous.
I admire you, yes.. in all honesty, I do!
I love you and I love the fact that I love you.
Every time I try to hate you I hate myself and I start feeling guilty because I am reminded of the fact that I promised you forever and I promised that I will wait for you.
My love, I wish you would see this and read it.
I wish you would inhale these words and hear my soul.
I want you to feel what I am spilling out in every inch of your veins. I want you to imagine me in front of you, saying this to you, but I want you to give me a chance to speak. I want you to let me hold your hands for the last time if it ever might be. I want you to have the heart to give me just ten minutes to honestly pour out my heart to you. But I also want an honest answer and a reply from you. Just know that I do love you and I will always love you.