always there, you always were.
how do I repay you
for that?
how do I live this life
how do I fulfill all your expectations.
I want you to be proud.
I want you to look down through the sky
and smile.

The bliss that I need from that seems impossible.
I need to hear you again.
I need your wise words.
I'm desperately seeking everything you never got to see of me.
it's not fair. this life took you away too early.
the
most
beautiful soul that's gone too soon.
the day I see you again,
that day is too far away.

pounds of fat, awkward curves
****** hair, thunder thighs
obnoxious laugh & socially unaccepted
How will I ever learn to love myself?
how will I ever accept any love if,
I can't find the worth of the beauty I was suppose to be given.

you ask me why,
as I put the bottle up to my lips.
how do I explain this?
I'm not trying to fit in.
I just need the simple pleasure I get from every sip I take.
I see you're face and know I'm doing wrong.
the more I drink the more it doesn't seem to bother me.
why am I getting the satisfaction out of this evil.

I said i wouldn't, I knew I wanted to.
I crave you in every way, but I need you more than that.
I'm suppose to wait.
I was suppose to wait.
I can't wait.
I couldn't wait.
you and me together is more than words can fathom.
your words play in my mind, twist my thoughts, and tears me open.
your skin will always linger on mine.
I need every part of you.
It was a broken promise I'll never regret.
we're emotional.
we're physical.
we're forever

In your arms, wrapped up so tight. Body heat radiating so comforting I refuse to move.
I feel safe. this is home

we're magnetic
we are opposite poles
clinging together unable to push away
irresistible
you can't get enough
it's natural to be so close
magnetic

in that ice cold heart
there is nothing but bitterness
      no innocence
or intent of help
                      you only see this world through your evil eyes
  no sign of breakthrough
it's ****** with no misery
            it's brutal, but for you
no     pain

it's the crinkle by your eyes when you smile. it's the gasps of air you give out at your silent laughs.

it's the way you look at me when I'm giving my all to you.

how do you love someone this much?
something about you I can't quite figure out.

every song I hear
and every thought I'm thinking
you you you

I'm not scared anymore
because I love you
and loves never felt like this before

but the weight on my shoulders is gone
yet I don't feel relief,
more like
empty

I can feel your heat
I can feel your skin
I can feel your love
this is intimate love

I can hear your heart
I can hear your thought
I can hear words that were never said
this is emotional love

I can touch your skin
I can touch your heart
I want you forever
but how do we do this?

I can't breath anymore
it's too much
when it's 2 am and you realize
Life
       keeps
                 Bringing
                me
                     d
                     o
                     w
                      n


and I can't get up.

why do they say what doesn't **** you makes you stronger?
because
I'm weaker than I've ever been

I'm hanging on to every word you're saying.
in hopes things are truly going to change.