I'm so far from you now that life seems almost insignificant.
My only means of coping are to become aggressive and belligerent.
Pushing everyone out until I'm finally left alone to ache.
Your absence hitting me like a reoccurring and relentless earthquake.

I'm constantly reminded of the hole you left in my chest.
The faint beating of my heart finally dying and laying to rest.
I can't remember what you felt like anymore,
And the reminder runs through me like a rusty old sword.

I want the suffering to end but I honestly no longer care.
The pain won long ago and became something more than I could bare.
Part of me died when you left our little nest and home.
No part of me wants to run wild, explore, or even roam.

I think I'll just bask in the quiet darkness here alone.
I'll close my eyes to the world until I become mere stone.
Without you there's no real point or meaning to me.
I have no desire to be let out of my cage or ever again be free.

We would spend each night in open fields bathed in starlight.
I'd read you poems I wrote while you held onto me tight.
We paid no attention to the rough ground or the cold breeze.
The warmth of our bodies took over with complete ease.

I'd walk you home before dawn, always loving the warmth of your hand.
We'd plan trips to far off mountains and to oceans layered with black sands.
When we got to your house I always delayed my every goodbye.
You'd hold me and kiss me leaving with just a small tear in your eye.

Along my way home I'd recall how lucky I was to have you.
The countless years of war had left me pessimistic and cruel.
But when you found your way into my heartless life,
You ignited a fire within that cut through me like a knife.

Breathe in and out until the burning subsides.
The pain is so bad all I can do is help muffle your cries.
I don't know who did this to you or their reasons why,
But you know I'll find him and show him hell before he dies.

Night after night and I can't stop the endless tears coming like a flood.
Even though I found the man and came home bathed in his blood.
Nothing will take you from me again and of that I'm sure,
The memories will fade in time and soon I'll find you a cure.

But it's always the innocent who get ripped apart and mistreated.
The strong have little to lose & violence to them is happily greeted.
There has to be a way for me to keep this one safe from harms way.
I don't know how but I'll keep her in my arms until that very day.

I miss the smell of blood and the sight of split lips,
The thrill of pounding into the flesh of someone you didn't know.
But those days are more forgotten than the last eclipse,
Wondering when was the last time you actually felt whole.

When did the **** get kicked out of the fights here?
We used to stand as titans that didn't have a single worry.
Now all I see are children that are full of angst and fear.
Someone needs to bring this place back to life in a hurry.

I'll never lose the scars I got in this dusty old place.
No one brought guns here, our fists made our point.
How could anyone let these decaying halls lose all their glory?
Every bone in me burns with an anger that flows into my joints.

Maybe the days of fighting like dogs are dead and gone,
I kick the dirt under my feet and say a silent prayer with a sigh.
If I left my patch of paradise like this I knew it would feel wrong.
I turn back & walk away from my old home without even a goodbye.

Change came steadily but the boy was stronger and now a young man.
He flowed with each obstacle and kept his eyes firmly on his plan.
Never again would he be as weak as he was once before,
The young man was stronger now even down to his core.

He was moving with the hits that life threw at him now,
Until at last one hit him so hard he went down as hard as a plow.
Though he had friends that helped him get back up,
His problems started to overflow from his once empty cup.

Every hit he took broke off pieces of his very own being,
It felt like he was losing all the beauty he was just finally seeing.
The anger that the young man thought was gone reared it's head,
Bringing with it all the old pain within him back from the dead.

All the training and wisdom he fought so hard to learn,
Was tossed into a pit that was just waiting for him to burn.
The only thing remaining among the ashes was the familiar fear,
Emptiness filled every hole within him leaving a trace of one single tear.

The young man was starting to break once more,
He began hiding behind his once solid and stable inner core.
He spoke meaningless words to distract the prying but caring eyes,
Praying that no one would ever hear his agonizing cries.

As the boy grew he knew he was no longer a child,
The atmosphere at home went from morbid to mild.
The boys family quickly began to heal and reunite,
And he began to lose his desire to disappear into the night.

His families happiness was contagious and started to take over.
The boy was losing his reasons to keep his emotions under cover,
Some say he outgrew the anger and fear that he clung to,
But the truth is he was over always feeling down and blue.

The boy began to search for ways to be cleansed and born anew.
But what he found was a miracle that he knew to be true.
He poured himself into growing and learning,
his every action now reflecting this desperate sense of yearning.

The boy learned of new people and far away places.
He sought out his old fears and erased their disturbing faces.
Self-care and love seemed began to start rushing right back.
And as the boy grew he felt his life was finally getting on track.

He was finally happy and content once more,
Blissfully unaware of the changes that life had in store.
Unaware that his growth and strength was soon to be tested,
The peace he knew was now over and he was well rested.

Years had gone by since the boys eyes were open,
All around him his life lay useless and broken.
He clung to distractions and hated the silence when it came near.
The boys absence had suddenly descended into utter fear.

Wherever he went the boy couldn't escape the terror he felt,
And things that never bothered him now made him stop and melt.
The confusion that followed the fear he felt began to enrage him.
Liquid hatred started to quickly fill his tiny cup to the rim.

He took his anger out on himself knowing everyone was in enough pain.
The only times he felt normal was when he walked alone through the rain.
The boy forgot how to take care and love himself truly,
Though he acted and carried himself like he desired this cruelty.

Anger became his main defense mechanism and shield,
Alone and broken he found his only solace in desolate fields.
Sorrow became his trusty companion and loyal friend.
Letting tears fall quietly was the only message he'd ever send.

No one seemed to realize the pain the boy was in anymore.
Spending any time with him just felt like a chore.
The boy felt like he was getting away with ****** these days.
Not realizing he was the only victim here in oh so many ways.