rain storms and tornado sirens
firetrucks and trains
metal beasts and
full moons of silver
take me back to a time
where the air was wet with the sound of your name

i want to be the woman they fall in love with
at a single glance
waltzing down the street
the one that
casts luminous shadows
creating paradoxes as she turns the corner
the one that winks an eye
at the mad old man
with no shoes
whom sits on the pavement
drooling
i want to be the one that kisses you goodnight
gives you butterflies
in every ***** of your body
paints your skin with my saliva
gives you looks of admiration
connects the stars with crayon lines
bends time with ionic minds
the one that keeps you up
day and night
the one that over takes your gray matter
i want to be the one
you call yours

Just take it easy
just slow down
he knows my name
it gets hard to explain
piano chorus plays in the background
she calls out the title
i was given at birth
'leave me alone'
he knows my name
it just gets so hard to explain

You wrote a poem about
me
how you outlined the marks i left
in violet, purple, lavender threads
you won't let me forget where i left off
yet again i have succeeded in curing your writers block
with sorrow
i beg of you
to stop letting me in
i forget all too often why i left in the first place

in your mind
i am some sort of goddess
you've built up
fabricated almost all of my being
i am your fantasy

but i am also human
i cannot live up to the standards
you've invented
during the times we spent apart

i love you
but i must let you go
we can't pretend the house isn't burning

we'll suffocate

you're suffocating, dear

committing suicide
false imagery
words never spoken
whimpers left to fade

time will heal you
you just have to run out of this burning home

before it collapses too

we're getting older
too
time is slipping past us
permeating through our bones
making them as fragile as the
peanut brittle my grandmother munches
every Sunday afternoon

Ritualistically
i scan your social media
secretly check up on your well being

i long to savor your skin once again
i want our legs to intermingle
and our hair to tangle
i want sweat coating our bare bodies

i want you
in the simplest ways
i want you
in every crevice of my being

you deserve a thousand poems
written about every crevice of your body
about your seamless existence
I wish I could write beautiful things for you
and
I wish you wrote positive things about me
your words are always lovely
but
the subject matter makes me want to
disappear into the folds of your
half used moleskin
I'm sorry
I can only cure your writers block
with
sorrow

listening to the
lumbering steps through the home
of someone we both adore-
a philosophical newborn

hiding under the stairs
in a nest we built from
feather filled pillows and
cotton comforters

I felt the quintessential need
to mold our bodies into one
I wanted our bones to liquify
and our flesh and brains jumble

I wanted so badly to just
kiss you

No one found us
So I became a part of you
We are as one

you are mad at nothing
because what you thought was there
does not actually have life
and what you thought
was for you
never really is
and you need to stop being
mad
about theoretical situations
that never have time to even fabricate
or better yet
stop insisting that these
theoretical situations
are real
you are living like a ghost
your world is translucent
and you would stop being mad
once you realized
you are living in a world of
dream
wake up
& stop being mad

if I raise my body up from the sheets
and untangle my hair
exit the nest we made under the stairs
do you think you would follow me?
if I were to continue upwards
towards the **** in the backyard
and if I were to mush all the berries in sight
into a sticky paste
that i could paint your body with
would you let me?
I'm just curious
how close you're willing to be

self deprivation
generalizations
self accusation
mixed assumptions
****** fluids
gated communities
federal violations
welcome

I was blistering crimson from
The Bahamian sun
With sand still between my toes
And a lion fish wading
In the confines of my brain
Twisting through the gray matter
Teasing me with its long spines
You told me you loved me
Darkness seemed like sunshine
Soaked from the sky
A down pour of hot teardrops
We ****** in the neighbors yard
I remember my white dress
And the grass stains
And how you were covered in grass clippings
Stepping back into the house
We were in a haze
Deep inside each others consciousness’s
We swam with-
Euphoria
Love is a strange thing

xdgfcgnv
is gibberish poetic?
do these snuffles make me interesting ?

I do not have enough time to
go through an entire
dictionary
to find words that will even come close
to describing your immaculate
presence
please come home
before i attempt
it's much more satisfying to taste your air
than to describe it

I can't write a serious poem
because I cant take myself
                             seriously                       and                              I can't look you
in the           eye
without crying
because there's more built up                            regret
than I can
                                                                                                                                            bear

I want you to be the answer to everything
yet I know that's impossible
and I'm terrified
by it

I do not shave
i do not bathe
i do not eat meat
i do not follow rules
i am not an animal
i am human
natural and free

coughing up blood
puking up mud
wishing the pain was gone
but begging for one more smack
of sheer
unbearable pain
to be touched by you
is something i can only dream of
now

this will be my
crucible
a place
where according to dictionary.com
new elements will interact
to create something new
and hopefully meaningful
hopefully relieving
and hopefully
pure

My room is a circus
I've decorated for you
I welcomed you in
oh
about 6 months ago
and you never left
what a silly mistake I've made
I hope you'll get out soon
or I'll have to shut the circus down
and the clowns have no where to go
well with the cold front
moving in

people always ask me
about my best trip
and expect me to tell them all of these deep
revelations
about how my life will never be the same
and all i can really say is that
lsd is more of a way to forget about life
and focus on now
focus on nothing but being alive
i mean being
there is no secret
nothing to be revealed
you know everything already
just
be

you got rid of me as easily as swatting a fly
you had months and months to prepare
i had 3 seconds
I hadn't the slightest clue when I got in that car
I even was venerable enough to stand out of your moon roof
your stupid moon roof
such a cliche moment
you smiled too
smiled when you said it
'i want to break up'
i said
'ok'
ok
that's all i could get out
i hope when you see me i burn holes in your eyes
make you shiver with regret
i hope that you see people stare at me
and it makes you squirm
i hope you regret
uttering those words
i hope the tears i left on your face after that
last kiss
burned holes in your cheeks
lefts scars where i had weeped
i hope i left an impression
no other creature will live up to your last 6 months
you picky *******
what am i saying your mother is lovely

I've admitted love 3 times
I've meant it once
The only time I meant it
it was thrown back in my face
I guess that's love

You said that I would be good with V
parts of me thinks that you were saying that to test me and see what i'd say
parts of me think that i would be
in about 3 years
when he's taller and I'm more mature
when no one is watching and
there are no social boundaries
exploring maybe
who knows

there arent many things
that make me upset
to the point of non recognition
but trying to **** someone im still in love with is one of them
and i dont appreciate it friend

this past weekend I tried to have *** with you
and you said you were not ready
and that that was ridiculous
because i am the girl that you've been going insane about for the last year
a whole ******* year
that is incredible
i think that is absolutely lovely
all i was trying to do was make you happy
He told me that being intimate and close to someone was the only way to achieve such a thing
at least it was implied
numerous times
and one of the only reasons he gave for breaking up with me
not good enough in the sack
well *******
i am an insecure mess and i need someone to guide me through the deflowering process
we don't all study ****
you inconsiderate pig
i loved you and trusted you and you took me in when i was very confused and fragile
and you manipulated that because you think it's interesting to do social experiments
on girls who seem odd
it's not fair
although i do thank you
for having the courtesy
of saying I love you first
i was so afraid that would never happen
and now this isn't even a poem
it's a diary rant
and i am once again a baby in diapers
******* my pants
waiting for you to come
pick me up again
and tell me everythings ok
i still love you
remember?