Once upon a time ago
This time in memory wanes
A friend I once came to know
Is no where now it seems
There are times it feels I'm getting close
But each time the disappointment grows
Searching and longing eternally
For the feeling that comes and goes

How easily apeased in youth
The simple things delighted
Now soured into bitter vermouth
Contentment uninvited
Seeking but continued elusion
The feeling now is just confusion
Wanting and waiting impatiently
For the feeling I let go

Pick, pick, scratch and pluck.
Gnaw,gnash, gasp and ****.
Writhe, wring, scream and kick.
Tired, wired, I make me sick.

Fight, flight, sink or swim
He, she, her or him
For what and why, for them
I dye, I lie and sim

Pill, pill, gulp and smile
Puff, puff, snort and pile
Laugh, cry, **** and bile
Living dead is vile

Deafening silence
Blank stares, wet tears
Awakening breathless
Cold sheets, new fears
Creeping in slowly
Old doubts, proven
Lacking ammunition
Give in, not again!

Burning bridges
Cutting limbs
Eating sorrows
Making amends,
No not again
Forgetting lovers
Not staying friends
The End

Spent an eternity living a lie
Trapped down the feeling
Buried it deep inside
And there it grew, this trouble truth
Watered by the pain
Nurtured by the abuse

Thought one day
It might just die
With one last blow
Maybe one last cry
Never unrooted, this trouble seed
Until the deed conceived