the words are crisp in my mouth
but by the time they hit the door
they are stale as my hand
they are gone like wisps of smoke
their scent decorates the room
and brings a parade of memories
feasts with laughing friends
and a long footpath with her blue dress
it makes my sunshine weary
and drives clouds into my souls parklands
she is one such long misbegotten memory
she was a true love of mine
she is gone like a wisp
of smoke on a beach
she....

she makes my time pass slow
and leaves me wanting to repaint
the moons difficult changing colors
as it waxes and wanes thru the seasons
like her deep eyes
but she mends with love
and she nourishes with compassion
and she makes cut out stars and comets
that we pin to the ceiling
she makes breakfast
we eat it  laying in a open field
listening to the fall wind rustle the trees

i master this lame beast
and contrive to march it slowly through the night
while it seized and sputtered
to the edge of light
the edge of forgiveness
there i lay down
but the world has no further use for a broken old man
potions and notions antiquated
she with a woman's gentleness
gathers up what remains of me
chiding me softly for having wandered astray
knitting the pieces parts to semblance
she admits beyond mere frowns
her reasons for being here
that my words reach her
that my soul enraptures her
my humor embraces her
and unlike many others she has known
my heart hears her every word
and thirsts to know her mind

love affairs are more than in a bedroom
they are in the heart and mind
i will have my lover and know her
because everything about her matters to me

the wine has worn off
but my heart and head
keep ticking away the hours
like some sad and absurd energizer bunny
trapped in an eternal loop
could have
should have
would have
even as a young goddess
posts a few selfies
showing her enrapturing smile
and delicious form
but she is far away
and has a boyfriend no doubt
this motel room is too quiet
i can hear myself think
and i don't want to think anymore tonight
i just want
that energizer bunny to fall off a cliff someplace
just want to go to sleep
not think theres something else i could do
to fix this
to fix me
fix her
them
it
something
somewhere someday

the room slowly drains of sound
its stained walls are written
with colors of forgetting
undefined the light slips away
but other parts leak its slow invasion
thru the gaps in the window
the shattered glass is a harsh breeze
that narrowly projects itself into my head
the grunting pile of flesh in the corner
made up of shattered lives
moves slowly through the paces of leaving
getting dressed
getting the purse together
getting the mirrors reflections
and stealing them away into deep pockets
they bleed there
leaving her jeans wet in the solid florescent flicker
she is in the hall
spilled out onto the hard tiles
i go out there and rescue
small things that escape her clutches
pulling her back into the room
seeking her plunder
unleash her on the empty drawers
scrape scrape scrape
she re-enters the room
and begins to circle and hover
over when she believes the wallet to be
its a repeating process
that scrapes you down till
your ready to never open the door
to her again
stained as the walls
she is a decoration

the setting moon
slips close to its watery grave
and she finally appears
walking slow carrying her broken shoes
she says that the night jumped her
and she had gotten lost in the
vast differences between what she hoped
and what the world always left her longing with
tears spread from her still young innocent eyes
i held her to reassure
but as i wait for our fears to subside

i see the lights approach
of thouse who would claim lordship over her wallet
and over her soul
bankers of the material world
doubling as demons from hells coldest corner
no fleeing the version where you need to change batteries
they are dead as the souls who manufacture them
she slips a pair of double a's from her
pocket rocket personal massage device
and plugs her mind back into the need to get on with her day

the moon has reached its last gasp
and she has romanced her way out of her dress
and you out of your noble intents
we all reach this impasse
with our pen and page
having sold off our forward momentum
for a desperado gamble at claiming that elusive perfect written word
we flounder at waters edge
unable to pull ourselfs back
unable to manufacture method to crawl further
we make mad dashes round and round the
proverbial gallows pole
hanging on a single idea or ideal
trying to express it clearly
it need not more clear than it is
in mind's eye
but her face lingers in your soul
urging you you recapitulate your dire love
to craft a better master plan for tearing yourself down

the moon has reached its invisible zenith
on the worlds opposite side
and you have yet to reconcile
your good natured laugh
to her dark predictions
she slips away again to seek
her rightful place in her world view
and you are the captain of your sinking rowboat
once more
sexton in hand
plot your thoughts
and row king james home
the moon will rise soon
and you need to be home
when she comes in need of a hugs
and a shoulder to weep on

an old movie on the tube
with the volume all the way down
some old pink floyd on the turntable
a few candles
a bottle of australian wine
just me and you
ocean breeze
and lost in your eyes
loosen that top you got on
and find the spot on your neck to kiss
we make out
and whisper talk for hours
bout what we wanna do
places we'd like to see
i tell you bout paris in the fall
you tell me about nahariya in spring
but we may never get out of this bed
cause we cant keep our clothes on
or our hands off eachother
get the blues when your sleepin and im not
dont want you dreamin without me
want to share it all with you
in the morning lets
go borrow that skiff again
and see how far we can get
promise me we will figure out
what we did with our clothes
promise we can quit making love long enough
to see what day it is
lover come here its today and thats all that matters
sleep pretty baby
the world can wait