I am not here to cook and clean
Not make a mess and flee the scene
I think you'll find it's not much fun
When others tend to eat and run
I don't eat much and watch my weight
No greasy fry-ups on my plate
I much prefer to keep my size
And i manage that by eating wise !!

Sleep it took you
The sleep that is eternal
Into the darkness from the light
I would of joined you but..
Fear you are already gone !
And didn't leave a forwarding address ?

p.s.. Kitty says " Bye !"

If i don't see you .. i know i wont cry
The days may seem long .. but i know i'll get by
And if i don't kiss you.. a tear i won't shed
But i know i'll dream of it..as i lie in my bed

If i don't hold you .. i won't fall apart
I'll get back the pieces .. you stole from my heart

You told me you..loved me.. you just loved yourself
Was i just a book ..you put back on the shelf ?

love is a book..  written over again
And every new chapter can be .. pleasure or pain
A story that comes from .. a feeling inside
A journey thats travelled with a blindfolded guide

Now my story's over ..as another begins
Love is sometimes a game.. that the heart never wins
I loved you .. i lost you..you threw me away
Now i hope as i wait to find real love someday.

If love is true ?
Then love is you
Love does what it wants to do ?
It's sometimes pink ?.. but sometimes blue ?
If love is you ?
Then love is true.

When you look at me with love
That is all i am ...and want to be
Captured in your eyes like a safe room
Where the bad things cannot go

When you tell me that i am worth much more than i feel
I am invincible and always want to be
You hold me up from a world that would beat me down
You keep my head high and my heart strong
You are the strength that gives me hope and courage
To face unmeasurable odds and know that i cannot lose
Such is love's power.

Holding by fingertips until just out of view
As the rain came down i felt something new
While laughter echoed in a cold hollow place
An Angel she whispered of loves true embrace
So we sat in the moonlight on a warm summers eve
Then danced in the sunlight never wanting to leave
How we grew....How we knew.... of love then.

There goes mary...
On her way down to the shop
She's off to buy some liquorice
And lots of fizzy pop...

Sweet tooth mary...
With her teeth as black as sin
She gave the children nightmares
When she smiled her mouldy grin

She chomped her way through toffee bars
And bags filled to the brim
With sugar cakes and frosted flakes
But mary's fate was grim

For mary learnt a lesson
A price for her sweet taste
She spent her cash on candy
And never bought toothpaste

That night as mary lay in bed
With sweet wrappers beneath
Toothfairies came with hobnailed boots
And kicked out all her teeth !

Silence now ...
Once she was here
The sound of lovers laughing
No more the sound...

Her voice to me...
The sound of an Angel
Her touch to me...
Warm like the sun

Her gift to me... loneliness
... memories.

I think i'm being followed
But as i turn around
The only thing that's followed me
Is my shadow on the ground

He's always there beside me
At the end of every day
But if i stand in darkness
My shadow goes away !

Be careful what you wish for..
For those who know...it's true
And yet i knew..you did not care
Still then... i wished for you

I offered out my open arms
To catch you as you fell
I offered you my heaven
you turned it into HELL
And everyday grew darker
The lies eclipsed the sun
It was a death by innocence
That caused the tears to run
Tortured bled by demons
Lost in fire,consumed by pain
I made a vow..a lesson learned
To not be ignorant again...

Be careful what you wish for
For those who know...it's true
The pleasure in a wish... was lost
A fool once wished for you .

Once i met a mummy
Whose pride got hurt real bad
He'd failed to reach the toilet
It got him pretty mad !

It must be quite frustrating
Being bandaged head to toe
And having to unwrap himself
Each time he needs to go

And then when he has  finished
He has to wrap himself again
If he's  got the diarrhoea
It must drive him insane !!

And if he doesn't make it
And he has to walk round wet
And he stands next to a heater
And The smell.. he wont forget

So if you meet a mummy
And he's groaning down at you
Be kind and show some sympathy
He's failed to reach the loo !

" If you are gonna ask me out, i'm gonna say no !"
That's what i was told by her not long ago...
You see i gave her a compliment because i think she's quite fine
With her beautiful smile and her hair with it's shine
I was taken aback because it was out of the blue
And was not quite sure just what i should do ?
So i replied " now just hold on the thought never crossed my mind !"
But then gave it some thought and this thought i did find
Although i was shot down and my chances not good
If she asked me to date her ?...i probably would !!.
conclusion......
It's funny how people can put thoughts in your head
Just from your actions or things that you've said
Assuming assumptions, misunderstandings...anew
But thanks for the thought now i'm thinking of you.

Here comes Dracula flying through the night
Looking for a tasty neck on which to have a bite
He's out there in the darkness he wants a drink of blood
But if he flies in my room he'll lose his teeth for good
One bat to another i'll play baseball with his head
So don't bother me count Dracula
Same goes for all the living dead !!

Demons are above me... Demons are below
Demons in her mind ?... she said ..
Demons i will show ..
For nevermore...
the sun will shine ?
Abuse is all i'll know ..
Into a pool of blood ..she said
watch the piggies go... !!

Shyness is my prison
Your love the only key
It's bars are made of silence
Only you can set me free

I sit tongue tied and lonely
Help my sentence now to cease
If you want me .. you  must give me
A sure way of release

A kiss a touch a promise
And i know i would be yours
Love it knows no boundaries
It's true .. can open doors

Silence is not golden
For me it is a curse
I want to say ' i love you'
In my mind the words rehearse

As i watch you from this prison
Will my chance just slip away ?
No chance to be your lover
Why ?..  three words... i cannot say

For shyness is my prison
Your love the only key
It's bars are made of silence
Be my saviour .. set me free.

I don't care 'bout' grammar
'***' grammar don't care 'bout' me
Poo to punctuation
Poo with a big 'P'ee
Write it as you find it
Word it as you say
Make it real ...as you feel
So text police ...go away !

I guess it's '***' i'm lazy
Not bothered and ' so there'
So i'll write it as i 'fink' it
You don't like it ? ...i don't care !

Rain rain go away !
Only come back when i say !
why ? because you've soaked me through !
I'm all wet and so are you !
Remember everything i've said !
until then i'll spend the day in bed !

In our mind a sea of trouble
Waves of grief will drag us down
As problems flow against us
In depression people drown

We must fight to reach the shallows
So that we may catch our breath
Before the tide carries us further
To our inevitable death

For the seabeds lined with bodies
Of those who came before
And took their lives because of problems
Depression carried them from shore

Sometimes theres no solution
No solid lifeline we can find
There are so many people drowning
A sea of trouble in their mind.

Frankenstein's monster lay upon the bench
Made up from dead bodies , he gave off quite a stench !!
When the lightening caught him , it gave him such a jolt !
It came right down the lightening rod
And struck him on his.....bolt !!

A man got out the lift today
He'd dropped a **** ..then walked away
I did'nt smell it..until i stepped in
But on his face .. he'd worn a grin
So there was i...trapped with this gas
That he'd let rip from out his ***
So now i always take the stairs
So i wont get gassed unawares.

What's that on the pavement ?
It's another shoe !
Not a pair ... just one of them
Theres always one not two !

What is this strange mystery ?
Is there something weird afoot ?
Maybe i'll investigate ... so explanation i can put !

What reason to throw out one shoe ?
And keep the other one ?
But if they binned them as a pair
Then where's the other gone ?

Maybe there's a one legged man..
That doesn't need a pair
But instead of throwing out one shoe
He could keep it as a spare !

Or better still save money
He could stand outside a shop
Then steal a shoe from off the rack
And run away .... no.. hop !

So if you go out walking
And a single shoe you see
You may wonder ' where's the other one '!
Wonder just like me .

Where were you ?..i waited
I waited for so long
I stood outside the cinema
But you did not come along

You could of least have told me
If you could'nt make our date
I stood there in the pouring rain
While you went out with your mate !

I know i should have listened
When my friends said you were cruel
I heard that you agreed to go
To make me look a fool !

I thought you really liked me
But i know now i was wrong
You seemed like such a nice girl
But you were stringing me along

Beauty's only skin deep
With you i know that's true
But i learnt a lesson from it
To keep away from girls like you !

In the light of the fire
We stood so silent there
We turned embraced each other
And our love we did declare

Her kiss so sweet i tasted
So sweet and so divine
Let loose the fires of passion
She would alone be mine

Time it did not matter
We were lost in love's embrace
As we lay under the heaven's
The moonlight glistened on her face

She looked just like a goddess
Her beauty captured in moon rays
Just a beautiful sweet memory
To last me all my days .

I've gone barmy !!
My mind's gone down the drain
I've gone barmy !!
I'm really quite insane
I've gone barmy !!
Bonkers, bloomin' jolly
I've gone barmy!!
It's true .. i'm off my trolley

You've gone barmy !!
That's what my shrink he said
I'm afraid that i must tell you
You've lost it in the head !!
So i thanked him with a raspberry
And then ran up the road
And shouted " i've gone barmy !"
Two bricks short of a load !

I've gone barmy !!
There are no if's or buts
I've gone barmy !!
Now i know i'm nuts
I've gone barmy !!
I'll tell you something pally
I've gone barmy !!
I'm bleedin' well doolalee !!

So if you think you're barmy !!
Sing this song with me
Shower with your clothes on
And barmy you will be !!
Dance around the living room
Hopping on one foot
Blowing lots of raspberries !!
If you want to be a nut !.

I tried to save a soul today
Held out a loving hand
I almost saved a soul today
Within this evil land
But ignorance is powerfull
No choice to but let go
I watched it as it tumbled down
Into.. the fires below.

There's gonna be a gunfight
Out there in the street
All the stores closed early
To see who would be beat

The gunfighters got ready
Neither would back down
Each one gave the other
24 hours to leave town

Bifocal bill was ready
He said " That drunkards gonna pay !"
Then stood there shouting " Draw ya punk "
Facing the wrong way !!

The Whisky Kid stepped into sight
And staggered about the place
He looked bill up and down a while
Then fell down on his face !!

The crowd stood waiting eagerly
And as they booed and hissed
Bill squeezed off the first shot
To no surprise .. he missed !

The whisky kid then stood up.. swore
Cursed .. some foul abuse
Then called to bill " i need a drink !
" howz about we call a truce ?

Bill fired his gun repeatedly
Bullets spun off left and right
The whisky kid fell on the ground
The crowd went silent at this sight

The whisky kid just lay there
With a bottle in his hand
Bill grinned and said " The kid is dead !
But he was just too drunk to stand

The sheriff  said " i guess that's that "
And as they turned to go
Bill's gun slipped from it's holster
And blew off his big toe !!.

The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
resist ...resist
build a wall from broken glass
cement it with dissolvable paste
because you never know ....
who might come ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
Obey ...obey
and walk away
But always leave a paper trail
because you never know ...
Who may follow ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ....
But the head says ' No '
defy ...defy
Because the head may lie
To make the heart suffer
And slowly die
The heart wants ...
But the eyes can see
what the head is missing
from it's memory
The heart wants ....
To love again
Abstinence is worse than pain
To my heart that wants.

I see her and i want her
As minutes tick away
Minutes into hours
Hours into days

I need her love..is reason
The captured heart that leads the way
Her kindness warmth now healing me
Without her i decay

This time true love becomes me
My body , mind and soul
In thoughts and deed
She is the seed
With her i am now whole

In love we lay together
Two hearts as one day after day
I live and breathe for all she is
Forever hers....i stay.

The king summoned the jester
Told him make me laugh again
The jester said i can't my lord
My heart is filled with pain

you see i love the princess
And though it should not be
For i am but a simple fool
She could not marry me

The king well he was furious
And called the royal guard
Take this ****** from my sight
And hang him in the yard

The princess wept a tear and said
Please father understand
Show my love some mercy
Instead ban him from this land

The jester stood there solemn
And gave a sad reply
If i have to live without you
It is better that i die

That night upon the gallows
A figure hung so still and cold
And the princess cried a thousand tears
For a love so true and bold.

My love i take a moment ... to ponder ... here we are ?
The essence of ..... all that i am ?...so near and yet so far ?
I have these walls around me that i cannot be without
But i love you every single day ... be sure ...there is no doubt
The world may turn and yet it feels as though i'm standing still
Just waiting for the time to pass ..i'll wait for you until ...
And yet it seems eternity has took control of time ?
How long have i lay frozen ?...a simple melody a .... chime
Echoes in an empty room ..... a ghostly vision becomes... clear
You have returned at last my love.... and yet i feel the fear
You are so cold ? when once the warmth was always... part of you
Sadly faded ever more .. the love that i once knew.

Today's the day..i'm gonna..... find myself again
The day now has begun ..to search..for sunshine and not rain
The rust of life ..be rid of..the rot of doubt to grind
This twisted mental wreckage, smoothing bumps ..straighten.... unwind
The length of thoughts that bind me..like a rope without a knot
This shallow pool that drowns me.... dredging things ...i want forgot
No desire ..for keepsakes... these are all things ...i have outgrown
Switching off the negatives..before the fuse has ...blown

I spy with my little eye...something begining with ...life : )

People often ask me ' do you have a wife ? ...girlfriend ?
I tell them that i'm single , yes ..i know it's not the trend
But i would much rather be happy and live alone just with my cat
Than be with a controlling freak or a boring.... lazy tw@t
I often act quite silly , spontaneous and free
Happy and uncomplicated ...marriage ?...not for me !!
Don't get me wrong , i love to love and do so with my heart
Genuine , affectionate ?...i've been that from the start
Trouble is ..i've met too many fakesters , selfish users
Money grabbing nasty gits , lazy, boring , boozers !!
Lie-ing turds , compulsive flirts & one's that are not true
It's not a case of you & me , it's more like ..you & you
One day i'm sure i'll meet someone that feels the same as me
And none of this will matter ...then lovers we shall be
Until then i guess i'll stay as one and live as i see fit
You see it's as the saying goes..'if it's not broke..then don't fix it.

"I'm fed up of this"
The skeleton said
As he lay in his grave
"I'm bored being dead !"

"I think i'll get up and go for a run
I've been here for years !
And it just is'nt fun"
" I'll call on my girlfriend
And see if she's in...
"Being dead's helped her diet
She's got really thin !!

So he bent up his arms
And gave a big push
"Did you hear that"a voice said
From a nearby bush !

Two boys were out playing
When they heard the sound
" BOO " said the skeleton
As they slowly turned round
"AArgh " screamed the boys
And broke into a run
The skeleton laughed
He was just having fun!

They ran from the graveyard
And into the street
They were running so fast
That smoke came from their feet !

They did'nt stop running
Until they reached their front door
Then rushed to their mum
To explain what they saw
She said as she laughed
" It's not real what you've seen"
Someone's played a prank "
Well it was ...Halloween !

            Epilogue

What became of the skeleton
Running around ?
He got chased by some dogs
And never was found.

I heard the sound of raindrops
Watched them gather on the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass

From the distance came the thunder
The sky exploded with the sound
The lightning played a deadly game
Striking random all around

Wind howled it's way through treetops
Pushing them aside ...
As creatures ran for cover
To find a place in which to hide

As i watched a small brown sparrow
Took  heedlessly to flight
As if to challenge mother nature
Caught in predicamented plight

But nature wins all battles
Like teardrops ..rain ran down the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass.

The void avoid ... and so she lied
I sat and cried as my heart died
To love no more...or her adore
Of this i swore....

And then another came my way
Upon a cloudy winters day
With hair of gold and eyes of blue
She swore to me ...she would be true

The void avoid but then... she lied
I sat and cried as my heart died.

I'll Stay For One Drink ...
Or Just Maybe Two ?..
And On My Home .. I'll Run into you
I Thought it was Harmless ...
I needed a drink...
Never Thought it Would Happen ?
I just Didn't Think ..
I'm Sorry I'm Selfish
I Ended Your Years
Your parents now childless
Your Family in Tears
Now i Sit In This Prison
This Small Tiny Cell
No Life ..But Existing
I'm Already in Hell
If Only i'd Thought
And Stayed Home Instead ?
I Wouldn't be Locked up
You Wouldn't Be Dead
I Thought it Was Harmless ?
I Just Needed a Drink..
Never Thought it Could Happen ?
I Just Didn't Think .

Two people sat and talked a while ...
Upon a bench .. the sun did smile
I loved her like a summer day
But time took my true love away
I sat there with her hand in mine
Her beauty pure as aged wine
A memory lingers still....
Now all that's left is winters chill.

Tiggy is my little cat she's mostly grey and fairly fat
With large green eyes and a small pink nose and a wiggly tail..heaven knows
Stripes and spots and a cheeky grin, sometimes she's out , sometimes she's in
No interest in the neighbourhood mogs but scared of vacuum's not of dogs
She chases flies and red dots too ... my little bouncy tiggy roo !

I once knew a girl whose mouth was quite foul
She put on her make- up with a bricklayers trowel
She loved herself silly  , now god only knows
She would sit on the sofa .. picking her nose !

Her dresses were short and so were her skirts
Always chatting up men , one of life's biggest flirts !
But i heard she got married , had kids by the score
Now the girl she once was .. isn't there any more !

Why ?... i stood by you through the years
Did... you choose to treat me this way ?
You... have no conscience and shed no tears
Do...you realise what you have done today ?
This... is not the first time i'm used for your ends
To... forgive you again is not in me anymore
Me...and you are no longer friends
?... and so goodbye.... i've closed the door.

Little miss surrender took a gamble...lost
some are wise...see through the lies
Whilst Others bare the cost ..
You reaped the fake-ness merchant's sow
His empty grand illusion
Intelligence would surely know, The trick they call confusion ?
No sympathy, stability , you bought it on yourself
If stupidity was cash in hand, your burden would be wealth
Better smash the mirror your youthfulness is gone
To someone with much better sense...but once you were the one
The choice is just a memory, a was once happy day
Now mother goose hangs by a noose, While smarter children play.