When my body's time is over
And it's time that i must leave
Although i am not with you
Don't feel lonely..please don't grieve
For sadness is no friend of mine
Yet sorrow may be strong
My spirit will be with you
In your heart..where i belong
I know the world will turn about you
But my love shall never die
When my body is but ashes
My soul shall learn to fly
To be one with the universe
On land , in sea or air
In every ray of sunshine
you will feel me..i am there
And when the time has come my darling
For your soul to rise above
We will be together always
For all eternity....in love.

When i looked at you i saw myself ...Reflected in your eyes
I saw the world the one i made, where now an old man cries
For all good things come to an end in this journey we call life
You were my love, my one true friend, my partner and my wife
But you lay within the darkness now , so silent and so cold
I tend the flowers on your grave , the memories i fold...
Into a box i call my heart and always it shall be
To sit alone upon a shelf, this missing part of me.

Love has gone.. .where i dont go
It was devoured is all i know
Lost another to the lie
Hurtfull memories ...i deny
I put them in a tiny box
With ribbons held like satin locks
To open maybe ..never more
Makes me wonder ..whats love for ?.

I sailed a midnight ocean
To lands both near and far
But could not find a single thing
As lovely as you are...

I found the sweetest red rose
And placed it by your side
But shadowed by your beauty
The rose just withered up and ...died

So i  travelled to the east
For riches golden ...and refined
But none of them could sway me
Or indeed could change my mind

further still... i travelled
And braved the fiercest storm..
The cold winds wrapped around me
Your vision kept me warm...

I sailed a midnight ocean
To beyond the furthest star...
But knew theres not a single thing
As lovely as you are .

I see her and i want her
As minutes tick away
Minutes into hours
Hours into days

I need her love..is reason
The captured heart that leads the way
Her kindness warmth now healing me
Without her i decay

This time true love becomes me
My body , mind and soul
In thoughts and deed
She is the seed
With her i am now whole

In love we lay together
Two hearts as one day after day
I live and breathe for all she is
Forever hers....i stay.

I sit here and i ponder...does the heart grow fonder ?
Of someone that you miss...or truly long to kiss ?
Or someone that you care for..no whys ? or hows ? or wherefore ?
Am i for art thou romeo ?...whilst beauty sleeps does love grow ?
Oh would you love me more ?...give me all the love you store ?
If i travelled far away... for a year or just a day ?
To a land where **** trees grow...yes ?... i really need to know ?
Since we parted long awhile...the thing i miss most is your smile : )
And the ***...oh the ***....definitely the *** !!!...lol

Hey Cupid are you Stupid ?
I wanted someone nice !
Not someone cold , to have and hold
Not someone made of ice !!

Hey Cupid ...f@kin Stupid !!!
Your'e not really qualified
To find a girl that's right for me ?
In fact you f@kin lied !!!
You done me up a bad one
She's crazy !!...yes it's true
But i'm gonna get some justice done
And fix her up with you !!!

I saw you again today
And she looked like you do
I froze in the doorway
I couldn't step through
The feelings i had..stomach a knot
I loved you...i love you...
I thought i'd forgot.

My girlfriend she has many friends
Whilst i alone have none
I really do not miss them..
In fact i'm glad they're gone !
The reasons are quite justified
And as this poem ends
My message is quite simple
Beware of untrue friends !

I tried to save a soul today
Held out a loving hand
I almost saved a soul today
Within this evil land
But ignorance is powerfull
No choice to but let go
I watched it as it tumbled down
Into.. the fires below.

I heard the sound of raindrops
Watched them gather on the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass

From the distance came the thunder
The sky exploded with the sound
The lightning played a deadly game
Striking random all around

Wind howled it's way through treetops
Pushing them aside ...
As creatures ran for cover
To find a place in which to hide

As i watched a small brown sparrow
Took  heedlessly to flight
As if to challenge mother nature
Caught in predicamented plight

But nature wins all battles
Like teardrops ..rain ran down the glass
For so many days and nights
I waited for the storm to pass.

If i don't see you .. i know i wont cry
The days may seem long .. but i know i'll get by
And if i don't kiss you.. a tear i won't shed
But i know i'll dream of it..as i lie in my bed

If i don't hold you .. i won't fall apart
I'll get back the pieces .. you stole from my heart

You told me you..loved me.. you just loved yourself
Was i just a book ..you put back on the shelf ?

love is a book..  written over again
And every new chapter can be .. pleasure or pain
A story that comes from .. a feeling inside
A journey thats travelled with a blindfolded guide

Now my story's over ..as another begins
Love is sometimes a game.. that the heart never wins
I loved you .. i lost you..you threw me away
Now i hope as i wait to find real love someday.

Some days i feel like i'm dying
I wake up but i'm never really awake...you know ?
I see the world in a dim light that never seems to get any brighter
People amass together in a blur of colour , yet i am ...alone...monochrome
With only my cat for company..but she is enough in all her honesty

Thoughts are just thoughts without action
Like mist not becoming fog ...just an offspring of sorts
Another day passes through whilst the clock keeps count
Seconds , minutes , hours , days , months,....years !
Time flies but stays the same......stagnant pools of void

Where am i ?  in a life without life ?
Existing on automatic pilot with the battery running low
In a life my parents gave me but i never had a choice in
Why wasn't i asked to be conceived ?....selfish !!

Actions are just thoughts played out..without thought
But who is the one that suffers the consequence of an impulsive mind ?
Questions upon questions upon questions....upon questions
Shut down and sleep...
Tomorrow's blank page awaits ...........colour me.

In view i swam an ocean ..
To spend my life upon the land
As i knelt under the heavens
And placed a kiss on god's right hand
I heard a voice that came from nowhere
From out the dark ..a light so true
We live our lives within a circle
As something old becomes anew
From our past , create a future
Be quick for future is our past
In our sorrow, time drags slowly
In our interest time moves fast
A voice once raised in anger
Became a whisper then a.. sigh
When we are sad , we long for happiness
In happiness ..we cry
We live in question for an answer
Of things we say and things we do
And from our sanity comes madness
In madness sanity shows through !

Sleep it took you
The sleep that is eternal
Into the darkness from the light
I would of joined you but..
Fear you are already gone !
And didn't leave a forwarding address ?

p.s.. Kitty says " Bye !"

Love a long lost memory and best forgotten true
Of unrequited love i shared , my heart i gave to you
And everyday at sunrise i praised the world we met
And everynight at sundown... gave love.. i now regret
The ties that bound us loosely were undone throughout loves seam
Now i wonder as i sleep alone was it all a dream ?

She's gone she's gone and rolled away !
Miss fattymus she couldn't stay
She rolled on fast downside a hill
Twas when she smelt food on the grill
Bacon sausage burgers too...
Oh what's a big fat girl to do ?
Too tempting tasty... yum yum yum
watch out belly here it come
She eats her fill then eats some more
Until theres no room left to store
Then suddenly she feels unwell
As her belly it begins to swell
The pressure builds inside her gut
And finds it's way down to her ****
Her greediness right from the start
Has built up an almighty ****
And now she's gone ..yes it's true
she blasted off as rockets do !
I doubt that we shall see her soon
Because she landed on the moon !

Theres a hole in my heart not my head
Theres a heart in my whole that is dead
Theres a head in my heart and it said...
"Theres a whole lot of heart that is bled !!"
Gone gone gone away ...she loved once but couldn't stay ?
Fell to my knees ... began to pray...
please someone please...
Take the pain away
For i loved and i lost but i gain
The more i gain... so the loss...shall remain
But the loss is a whole lot of pain
So i'll love you no more ...i refrain
Blank ...Delete...Erase....... All better now  : )

Silence now ...
Once she was here
The sound of lovers laughing
No more the sound...

Her voice to me...
The sound of an Angel
Her touch to me...
Warm like the sun

Her gift to me... loneliness
... memories.

I think i'm being followed
But as i turn around
The only thing that's followed me
Is my shadow on the ground

He's always there beside me
At the end of every day
But if i stand in darkness
My shadow goes away !

Why ?... i stood by you through the years
Did... you choose to treat me this way ?
You... have no conscience and shed no tears
Do...you realise what you have done today ?
This... is not the first time i'm used for your ends
To... forgive you again is not in me anymore
Me...and you are no longer friends
?... and so goodbye.... i've closed the door.

Now here is a poem that rings of the truth
It's something that happens to many in youth

Don't go getting caught in life's normal mundane trap
of children and debt and mortgages... all that crap !!
For youth is upon you "who cares ? live for now
Go drink and be merry like you think you know how ?
For when you are older , your mind it may go !
and yearn for the days that you were too young to know
So drink and be merry until you're defenseless and lost
and suffer indignities...bare the full cost !!
when medics may take you to a hospital bed
where monitors flatline a tone for the dead
So drink and be merry take drugs and be cool ?
Do what they do for you're really no fool ?
What's said is now said and before i do go
i think theres something that you already know
Binge drinking and drugs are really not nice
it's certainly not free and you WILL pay the price
So drink and be merry if that lifestyle you know ?
of senseless and stupid with nothing to show
and go have a tattoo...a large ' L' on your head
Are you Loser ? or Learner ?...winner instead ?

THE CHOICE IS YOURS ? !!!

When i thought that i was thinking
But truly thought that i could not
It was the thinking of the thought
That thought that thinking i was not
And although i was not thinking
That i thought i thought it through
But in thinking through the thinking
The thought i think i thought was new.

Holding by fingertips until just out of view
As the rain came down i felt something new
While laughter echoed in a cold hollow place
An Angel she whispered of loves true embrace
So we sat in the moonlight on a warm summers eve
Then danced in the sunlight never wanting to leave
How we grew....How we knew.... of love then.

When you look at me with love
That is all i am ...and want to be
Captured in your eyes like a safe room
Where the bad things cannot go

When you tell me that i am worth much more than i feel
I am invincible and always want to be
You hold me up from a world that would beat me down
You keep my head high and my heart strong
You are the strength that gives me hope and courage
To face unmeasurable odds and know that i cannot lose
Such is love's power.

" If you are gonna ask me out, i'm gonna say no !"
That's what i was told by her not long ago...
You see i gave her a compliment because i think she's quite fine
With her beautiful smile and her hair with it's shine
I was taken aback because it was out of the blue
And was not quite sure just what i should do ?
So i replied " now just hold on the thought never crossed my mind !"
But then gave it some thought and this thought i did find
Although i was shot down and my chances not good
If she asked me to date her ?...i probably would !!.
conclusion......
It's funny how people can put thoughts in your head
Just from your actions or things that you've said
Assuming assumptions, misunderstandings...anew
But thanks for the thought now i'm thinking of you.

Rain rain go away !
Only come back when i say !
why ? because you've soaked me through !
I'm all wet and so are you !
Remember everything i've said !
until then i'll spend the day in bed !

Just another day..... past
A list of words i wanted to say..but left in silence
I steal a kiss or three or four
A smile the sun shines evermore...you are beautiful
Your perfume seems to linger still
Upon the sheets i sleep my fill...but still feel empty
Awake me not until you stay
Unless i dream my life away...a dream of you is a gift to me
Just another day..... present
We are the lovers with secrets we don't tell
Of how we broke our hearts...how far from heaven we fell
Just living in the moment...not caring...consequences ache
What we denied of love...we hide...we lied was our mistake
Just another day ..... future
I miss you so much these days when the nights are dark and cold
And the loneliness won't leave my side it seems to take my soul
To somewhere i don't want to be ..and though we deny...i know
We walked away from what we had .... but never have let go.

If i fell would you catch me ?
Would you wrap me in your love ?
If i were broken , would you fix  me ?
Not with sellotape ..with love ?
If i were lost , would you find me ?
And take me... home with you ?
If i were worn out , would you fix me ?
And make me feel brand new
would you ?...would you ?....would you ?

If i built a wall around me
Would you wait for me outside ?
Or would you climb the wall to reach me ?
In this place now .. where i hide
Would you ?...would you ?...could you ?.

Bruise my Tears ... i won't forgive you
Taint my years ... i wont forgive you
Quell my fears ... i'll always love you
I shall place no ... one above you
Feed my heart ... to never hunger
Make this love ... each day grow stronger
Never push my... love aside
Make recompence ... for times you lied
Or suffer in the ... deepest hell
From up on high ... to earth i fell
To save you from ... Chaos sight
And Change your Darkness ... into light.

Demons are above me... Demons are below
Demons in her mind ?... she said ..
Demons i will show ..
For nevermore...
the sun will shine ?
Abuse is all i'll know ..
Into a pool of blood ..she said
watch the piggies go... !!

The shallow world around me
Those... are sold to tempting charms
As i return again once more for love
To lay down in your arms
When hell is cold as winter
And heaven dark as night
The warmth i feel within you
For me a... shining light
The touch of love a haven
As i rest my weary head
I fill my heart with strength anew
" I love you now" she said.

People often ask me ' do you have a wife ? ...girlfriend ?
I tell them that i'm single , yes ..i know it's not the trend
But i would much rather be happy and live alone just with my cat
Than be with a controlling freak or a boring.... lazy tw@t
I often act quite silly , spontaneous and free
Happy and uncomplicated ...marriage ?...not for me !!
Don't get me wrong , i love to love and do so with my heart
Genuine , affectionate ?...i've been that from the start
Trouble is ..i've met too many fakesters , selfish users
Money grabbing nasty gits , lazy, boring , boozers !!
Lie-ing turds , compulsive flirts & one's that are not true
It's not a case of you & me , it's more like ..you & you
One day i'm sure i'll meet someone that feels the same as me
And none of this will matter ...then lovers we shall be
Until then i guess i'll stay as one and live as i see fit
You see it's as the saying goes..'if it's not broke..then don't fix it.

Today i didn't feel too well ...
I awoke and find myself in Hell
Twas of your making.. dark and deep
Thoughts of monsters .. in they creep
All these monsters in my mind ...
Keep me silent .. keep me blind
But i swear one day i shall break free ?
When someone does believe in me ?

I'll Stay For One Drink ...
Or Just Maybe Two ?..
And On My Home .. I'll Run into you
I Thought it was Harmless ...
I needed a drink...
Never Thought it Would Happen ?
I just Didn't Think ..
I'm Sorry I'm Selfish
I Ended Your Years
Your parents now childless
Your Family in Tears
Now i Sit In This Prison
This Small Tiny Cell
No Life ..But Existing
I'm Already in Hell
If Only i'd Thought
And Stayed Home Instead ?
I Wouldn't be Locked up
You Wouldn't Be Dead
I Thought it Was Harmless ?
I Just Needed a Drink..
Never Thought it Could Happen ?
I Just Didn't Think .

My love i take a moment ... to ponder ... here we are ?
The essence of ..... all that i am ?...so near and yet so far ?
I have these walls around me that i cannot be without
But i love you every single day ... be sure ...there is no doubt
The world may turn and yet it feels as though i'm standing still
Just waiting for the time to pass ..i'll wait for you until ...
And yet it seems eternity has took control of time ?
How long have i lay frozen ?...a simple melody a .... chime
Echoes in an empty room ..... a ghostly vision becomes... clear
You have returned at last my love.... and yet i feel the fear
You are so cold ? when once the warmth was always... part of you
Sadly faded ever more .. the love that i once knew.

I love you with all that i am ?
But i'm not enough ..
I need to be more ?
Than i could ever be
In your eyes ...
I love you with all that i'm not ?
But i am loyal .. faithful .. true
I want to be more
So you will love me ?
In my eyes ....
you are all i have ?
But i am not enough
Are you?

It was on a day .... December?
Held embraced within it's death
The seasons icy breath
Like yesterday ... remember ?
the sun had left me stranded
Which was somewhat underhanded
To be left again ...alone ... i shall not weep

Though i knew time was fleeting ...
An Angel sent a  greeting .....
She stayed to bring me comfort
In this loneliest of hours...

Through hours that were bliss
She warmed me with her kiss
As i drifted into sleep ....
My heart she said she'd always keep ....
in a locket

And as her light began to fade
Overtaken by the shade
I won't resist .. my time is past
I know the answer now ...  at last  
I am at peace.

Two people sat and talked a while ...
Upon a bench .. the sun did smile
I loved her like a summer day
But time took my true love away
I sat there with her hand in mine
Her beauty pure as aged wine
A memory lingers still....
Now all that's left is winters chill.

If love is true ?
Then love is you
Love does what it wants to do ?
It's sometimes pink ?.. but sometimes blue ?
If love is you ?
Then love is true.

The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
resist ...resist
build a wall from broken glass
cement it with dissolvable paste
because you never know ....
who might come ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ...
But the head is strong
Obey ...obey
and walk away
But always leave a paper trail
because you never know ...
Who may follow ...with a heart that wants
The heart wants ....
But the head says ' No '
defy ...defy
Because the head may lie
To make the heart suffer
And slowly die
The heart wants ...
But the eyes can see
what the head is missing
from it's memory
The heart wants ....
To love again
Abstinence is worse than pain
To my heart that wants.

How weak are you?... Mortal Being living blind ..never seeing ?
That which is ..pushed out of sight ..
Extinguish .. hope ... the guiding light
Darkness gripped your very soul
When you fell down the rabbit hole ?
The tunnel deep .. as it is wide
No hope for you ...Your life has died ....
A death by drink me ... eat me do ?
The Hatter was your friend so true
He tried to save you from yourself
But You drank the bottles on the shelf ?

You chose your fate ..  time too late !
In Sleep there is no rest ...
Follow sheep to slaughter sheds
You know you failed life's test
Time and motion .. follow suit ?
Beware that taste of rotten fruit
How weak are you ?... mortal being
Living blind ... and Never seeing ?.