I have a pet piranha !
He swims ' round in a tank
At first i called him baby jaws
But i changed it then to Frank

He doesn't like potatoes
But he's very fond of pork
I offered him a glass of wine
But instead he ate the cork !

I thought he looked quite lonely
So i bought for him a friend
But frank just looked then ..eat him
A fishy tale .....The End.

A man got out the lift today
He'd dropped a **** ..then walked away
I did'nt smell it..until i stepped in
But on his face .. he'd worn a grin
So there was i...trapped with this gas
That he'd let rip from out his ***
So now i always take the stairs
So i wont get gassed unawares.

Staring from the window.. i see Light distanced on the path
Everything exhausted now.. in daylights aftermath
A shadow of a structure.. as deep as it is wide
A haven for the unseen.. a place in which to hide
The rain has come to wash away .. the filth upon the path
Everything seems cleaner now.. in daylights aftermath
Twelve fifteen ...past midnight.. a day begun anew
A water washed gloss canvas .. from this window i see through
Nothing moves .. all is still.. within this photograph
Everything is peacefull now .. in daylights aftermath .

I awakened
From the longest sleep.... that was my life
I saw for the first time .. the world
How beautiful life could be .. as you held me in your arms
Like a blind man in the dark .. no vision , no picture ...

You taught me to love
And to be myself ...
You gave me the Strength to keep the world away..
when it takes too much from me

I love you ...
And yet it is more than that ..
There is no word.. just this feeling that i have
Like a constant smile inside of me

Believe in Angels and ...
They shall believe in you .

Big ones , little ones ... curly ones too !
Lots of funny animals living in the zoo
Big curly toenails , long arms to the floor
Sliding up and down a rope , skid along the floor
Fast ones , slow ones ... some that hardly move
Some that seem to sleep allday..
And some that really Groove !!

Across the bridge  i saw you
I waved .. it was a sunny day
A gust of wind then came along
And blew you clean away !!

It plopped you in the river
You climbed out on the muddy bank
And as i watched your boot came off
And in the mud ... it sank

You grabbed a branch to pull you up
But then you lost your grip
You slipped and somehow caught your blouse
That made a great big rip

Another gust of wind then blew
your hat then ...  left your head
And tumbled down the slippery *****
Into the river it ... sped

You made your way onto the bridge
A little worse for wear
I ran to kindly greet you
But you flew into the air

The wind had picked you up again
To grab you ...  i did try
you floated off into the blue
So i waved to you ...goodbye !

My car is up for sale
It's parked outside the flat
The last prospective buyer said" What a pile of tat !!"
I know it's no ferrari
And in a race it's always beat
I had to fend off scrapmen !!
When i parked it down the street
It's not really all that bad
Once you clean off all the dust
It's true it needs a re-spray
To cover up the the rust
I admit i had an accident
And it hasn't any lights
But the fanbelt is pretty new
Made from a pair of tights !
It failed the emission test
The M.O.T man said " it's scrap !!"
And when he turned the steering wheel
It fell off in his lap !
To call my car a ' nail'
Doesn't seem quite fair
I prefer the term ' quite eye catching'
Because people stop and stare !
So if you think your'e interested
Give me a call and view today !
I can put it in some carrier bags
For you to take away !