It is May 25th, 2022
27 times this year
Children have been gunned down in their schools
27 times
SO FAR
In less than six months
Over 140 dead  
That is heart wrenching  
The thing that makes it
Even more so is that,
in a few days
this poem will be obsolete
and the new number will be 28.

can't you hear the ticking
can't you see the clock
it can't tell what is right or wrong
just tick tick ticking along
you know man made time
now time makes man
without any kind of plan
just tick tick ticking along
time has the upper hand
and a face that doesn't change
it doesn’t know the hour
it doesn’t even know the power
that those two hands hold
just tick tick ticking along
can't blame the clock for making us old
it is the eye that sees the clock
sees it tick tick ticking along
that carves the lines on our souls

Milestones become millstones worn about your neck
when your goal is just an endless trek
now you’re 2,000 miles from anyone that knows your name
and somehow it all still feels so much the same
your rabid effort to lead yourself astray
in hope of getting closer to being further away
the echo of your own footsteps
and all of those deafening regrets
push you onto the next unknown destination
where you hope to find that soul restoration
till you realize that there is only so far you can roam
until you are on your way back home
thousands of miles left broken in your wake
the need to be that perfect imperfect stranger is an ache
but your demons sit upon your shoulder
and every day they grow bolder
because they know why you always run
they know what you have and haven’t done

I drove by the college today
sun hungry students
fall like leaves into the grass
(Both are soft, young, and supple)
knowledge will have to wait
today the sun is all they need to know

It is a hard days lesson half-learned
quickly if not quietly
in the bold sunshine

drink deep your spirit
it is your only hope
if that is what you call a
one legged man kicking you
when you are down

I say that cold spirit
is a liquid prison
that rules from the inside

but you do what you must
I will only sit and judge
like some half-assed imitation of Saint Peter

Who knows
if I like the show
I may open the gates
of my self made heaven
and let you and your one-legged
friend kick yourselves in

wouldn't that be a sight
for blurry sore eyes to see
(I don't know)
I just sit and judge
left or right I must
place you from me

For I am a half-assed saint
with a one legged man and a stranger
inside my self-made heaven

They are dancing the two step now
(only the one legged man needs to dance twice as fast)
one man two the other four
the odd timed rhythm distracting me
and leaving my lesson half-learned

The days they change
but why won't you
It seemed so easy at the start
to love and to be loved
just a child's game
But now my old eyes see
games have winners and losers

We played the game for a while
you should’ve know that my smile
was from surviving all the pain
of shouting at the sky in vain  

you fell like rain
and puddle at my feet
I saw myself in you
reflected back
distorted and ugly
but it was just that
a reflection of me

She stands right
now
looking at the
same
O' so golden
sunset
that I stand
here
admiring at this
moment
She stands there
wishing
wishing that I
am
wishing that she
is
not O' so
alone
she stands there
not
hearing my silent call of
love
Does she know
me
by my real
name
or am I
just
a sweet might
be
dream that may come
true