What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s lying on your bed?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s sleeping on your head?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s always up to no good?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she loves digging in the mud.

What do you do with a naughty cat
When she loves to jump and fight?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When her top trump is to give you a fright?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When in corners she will creep?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she won’t stop hunting your feet?

What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s pooing in the bath?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When all you can do is laugh? (Don’t)
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she covers your phone with drool?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s taking you for a fool.

What can you do with a naughty cat
When she keeps stealing your lunch?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When all she really wants is a munch?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s fighting with your pen?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she just won’t get off again

Oh I give up

Lost at sea
Dark waves surround me
I feel like I'm drowning
I can't breath
And so I sit and wait alone, again for you
Through it all, you never call
You just assume that I am waving
Waving, waving, not drowning.

You get to live life twice
Again in your dreams
That is where I will always be
Asleep in your arms
No chord around my neck,
No dark stain seeping inside of me.
Always smiling at you,
Waving not drowning.

If the world was like the British Secret Service
And all the nice guys were James Bond
And all the bad guys had cats:
There would definitely be Bond girls.

Good girls, dead girls
Shoot-you-in-the-head girls
Hiding-in-the-bed girls
While-making-out-with-Bond girls

Other-secret-agents girls
Super-******-villain girls
Some-random-at-a-bar girls
Not-wearing-enough-clothes girl

But then there’s a forgotten girl
An always being used girl
Bond never looks twice girl
Always there to help girl

Cheated by the hot girls
Laughed at ‘cause she’s a nice girl
Forgotten as a Bond girl
But an always there for Bond girl

So all you silly Bond boys
Put down your silly shooting toys
Stop kissing the villain-girl
And have a drink with the forgotten Bond girl

If I were a wife
I would be languorous with kisses
liberal with gravy
And bountiful in the bedroom.

Smiles and memories,
you the master of my destiny,
my lobster, my other half, my you.

If a picture paints a thousand words
then why can't 'mine' mean 'you'?

Tentacles of my dreams
Interwoven with your ego.

Caresses like needles running down my spine,
Tattoo me with kisses and leave me,
Forever with your mark.

A desire burning - smoke streams from my lungs
As secret cigarettes smoulder on my skin
Your touch like iron-red pokers,
Melts and moulds me in your image.

Daggers flit in my stomach,
Butterflies disturbed by your gaze
Razor blades their wings.
A touch so tender
Cut me again.