I ask you, I beg you…not break my heart
Not now, this time, I break apart
The past doth visit, this night of all
My heart, responds to whom that call
Though you no longer walk this land
My heart remembers each grain of sand
That time when you have grasped my heart
Our dreams we swore we’d never part

Almost one year,  you’ve asked from me
To take your hand, so forever we’d be
And Yes, I said...my heart spoke true
That forever, I will stand, and always love you
And so we dreamed and planned our lives
With child and more, our hearts contrived

Alas, God spoke and needed thee
To take you early, and set you free
From life on earth, where you’ve made your mark
To Heaven you land, new roads embark
God recognize your worth so true
And so he made known his need for you

Up there you shine, and your heart is known
For all to see, how you have grown
For me, its clear I've learned some truth
Though I have lost, God has me soothed
To know you serve our Lord with trust
And be the Light, to fight for just

So do not see me as one that’s broken
I know that you and God has spoken
I will soon take my place along your side
As we have planned to be your bride
And so I shall wait the time ‘til then
Know that I always love you, until then end

For now, I bide the time I’m here
No obstacle, nor hardship shall I ever fear
For I know in the end, I will meet you there
When God, shall agree our time to share
The love begun at the first hello
Through time, shall be clear, we both shall know
Forever, our love, forever we last
Through millennia, and more, whatever past

For all of you I have lived my life
By crutch, by hand, through all the strife
It did not matter, for I did not see
The strain, the burden, the pain for me

I held your hand, with love abandon
Through every battle, though none was won
But don’t you see, that’s what He meant
To find our own way, clear message sent

Yet through the pain our eyes made blind
The tears that blur all truth, all kind
Beside you I'll always remain until
The dark of storms to pass, stay still

With patience, love, I wait to pass
And hope you find the love at last
To set you free and find your home
And no longer feel you are alone

Tis not my pain I care at all
Just you, your heart I hear the call
So promise not to turn away
And let the darkness lead you astray

I stand, by you, my friend so true
As you have done when I pained too
Take my hand, so I stand beside
The hardest times, we both have cried

I am your friend I'll always stay
To hold all evils and tears at bay
I wish to hold you and make you see
That pain we learn, is meant to be

How high you'll rise, yes this is true
That life enfolds, and with love for you
So please, I ask, to look deeply within
You ‘ll overcome, in the end you will win

I sit here and I begin to ponder
Upon the past and grow with wonder
How quickly, how the tides doth turn
And green take over that once was burned
To see the change so quick, and stark
And so again, will I soon embark
Upon a path that leads me where
I do not know, though take this dare
I’ve learned so far that life is not
What I have hoped, my thoughts begot
Anticipation is what I feel
Embrace the future with honest zeal
There is so much that I must learn
To know this I have hoped to earn
So much, I know, I do not know
Tis arrogance, ego that is my foe
Open my mind, I ask from Thee
So that I may learn to be finally free
Of past transgressions and hurt and pain
I hope and pray, shall I never again
To feel lost in spirit with none to hold
In reverence, in awe, in all truth be told
Much more I see, this life for me
Let go of the chains  I may be free
To see with eyes not dark with cloud
And ears to hear the cries aloud
I turn my head and I look behind
One glimpse, just one, and I know I’ll find
That I have let go to what is past
And find the future, my heart at last

Lust is just a moment for you
Don’t think I don’t know that it is true
So take your heat and leave behind
Just dust, for its not worth of mind
No anger I feel, tis only I see
The only truth you’re able to be
Not one of substance, tis not your way
Thank God, I’ve mind, to lead not astray
Don’t worry, someone will hold your hand
Believe your lies, no mind she stand
By you, with eyes that can never see
How you, no truth, you can never be
For now, I’ll take my leave of thee
And thank God, He’s allowed me to be free
So take your mind, and share with some
Who has no sense, completely dumb
To know you have no heart to give
You’ll find no peace, as long you live
So do you wonder of whom I speak?
For those who question, are those are weak
And whom who reads that smile take forth
Then you alone, are a friend of worth
For you know that it is not you I seek
The ones I curse, with loathe doth reek

You only see me when I smile
Or laugh, it seems all that worthwhile
But have you tried to see inside
The girl I’ve tried so hard to hide?

No matter, for that is not for me
To grant you entry and truly see
What is inside that you’ll not know
I’ll guard with life, and never show

For there is none whom I have met
To see what’s there I’ll never let
Inside of me where true I feel
For I will **** before you steal

My honor, my heart I value true
Not one I’ve known, not even you
Have gained my trust to take my heart
So now you know, don’t even start

To touch within I’ve none to give
I’ve swore to hold so long I live
I’m finished now, I’ve given all
My heart is done, I’ve heard the call

No matter how you try for me
Just know , this life will never be
I’ve known that’s all I’ll ever know
With heart, tis true my only foe

Acceptance I have taken hold
That never shall I will behold
The greatest love to gain from thee
For me no more, so let it be

I wake each morning and hope one day
To receive an answer for what I pray
That all the souls that walk upon
This earth their pain will all be gone
My heart it breaks when I will see
That human kind shall never be
To care for good and truly mean
And try to change the pain I’ve seen
Perhaps just one can make a change
And spread the word widen the range
For those to make a difference, yes!
To turn around this worldwide mess
I will not stop believing in good
No matter evils, I’ve understood
If only you could stop and feel
Take a moment to see what’s real
Not the roles that we take upon
So brief, its stay and soon be gone
But in your heart see what is there
Is it full, or is it bare?
Take a breath, let air come in
And know that we all have been
Through pain and hate tis always there
Its up to us, to fight and share
The strength that we hold deep inside
And over come for what we’ve cried
Can you love, can you feel?
Not much it takes to make it real
So stop this hate, this jealous stride
And spread some joy, near and wide
Don’t stop and think if it is worth
The time you take to love this earth
It is our home, our only home
Where shall we go when it is gone?
So please I ask, just think today
A will exists, so there’s a way

Dear God, whoever, whatever, wherever you are- can you see me?

Can you see the terror in my eyes?
This day I wakened gripped in fear.
Can you see me behind the lies?
False is my smile, real is my tear

That trails my cheek the stain remains
The mask each day I don at morn
No soul beholds the blinding pain
For not shall I allow one's scorn

Dear God can you hear me?

My screams are stifled by the sound
Of winds I turn to carry me
Away from dismal strife abound
I turn my back one step to flee

When I speak, my voice not mine
Tis what you wish that you will hear
That life is good and all is fine
Expression when my soul can't bear

Soliloquy for me alone
With words that bring me to my knees
I shake with chill deep to the bone
Despair I pray that no one sees

Dear God, can you feel me?

I know my heart beats within
Yet how I wish that it would cease
Perhaps no longer that I shall sin
And finally gain a sense of peace

I wish to hate you for you have made me
Look how I've grown with this weak shell
Assembled pieces faithlessly
The cracks run deep, dear God, pray tell

Can you see my tears and hear my cries?
Or feel the knife plunged deep within
My heart, my soul, my mind defies
Hope, joy, and love, my harshest sin

Are you there, my God, or no!
Why have you made me thus?
Alas, no one shall know my woe
To will my body back to dust

Tis all my own, this place I made
No one to blame only myself
Goodbye, farewell and so I bade
Sorrow, oh flame! My life engulf!