It's that numb kind of sad.
The one that doesn't let you cry.
It wallows in your heart,
And withers your hope like dead trees

It's that crazy kind of sad.
The kind you can't escape.
No matter how hard you try.
It consumes your mind.
Causing insanity to arise.

It's that deep kind of sad.
That carves wounds into your chest,
And has you gasping for air.
Turning your stomach.
Making you shake.

It's the worst kind of sad.
It never waits.
Fast like poison.
Infects you in the worst ways.

You kissed all my little wounds.
Held all the little pieces.
Watched me fall apart.
Cigarette in hand.
Water in my eyes.
Dispare in my heart.
But through it all, you saw me.
Saw every flaw.
All my broken self.
Looked into my eyes.
And loved me anyway.

I stumbled into you.
On that one day in the fall.
The leaves were crisp as they crunched
behind my feet as I walked with you.
The air was cool and fresh.
Yet not freezing and uncomfortable.
Pulled me close to you.
Under this tall orange and yellow tree.
Whispering to me in my ear.
Taking my face into your hands
Devouring my heart with your eyes.
Pouring yourself into me with this kiss.
I fall apart as I start to cry.
No one has ever touched me.
Not in the way you have.
With every word and taste
You have corrupted my calm mind,
shaken up my whole world.
And yet I couldn't be happier
To have you by my side.

Who is the masked man standing behind me.
Lurking as I turn the corner.
I can't scream, I can't shout.
As my shirt buttons hit the floor.
Rotting my insides to the core.
My abdomen painted with your sin.
As you leave me in the alley.
Gasping for air and praying to god.
That I don't **** myself for this.
My body hidden in the mist.
Two a.m. And no one hears my tears.
Until I am discovered by open ears.
I can never forget and I can never forgive.
I can't heal this pain for as long as I live.

In that single moment, that girl who was only thirteen years old.
That poor girl who felt so worthless.
She couldn't eat, She couldn't sleep.
The tears couldn't stop hitting the floor.
And the darkness was begging for more,
Much more misery.
Stumbled into the bathroom.
Sprawled on the floor.
Dragging that blade across her skin.
The blood grows thick.
The pain begins,
Not from the physical wound.
But from the hopelessness the girl had.
For she had felt completely alone.
Isolated in her own home.
She grabs her chest and moans in agony
Thinking of the next catastrophe
In her ever so toxic life.
The cuts begin to dry.
And so do her eyes.
That girl is now nineteen years old.
She has learned that life is so much more.
Than a ****** Friday afternoon.

When the girl looks in the mirror.
She is haunted by her face.
Shamed for being a disgrace
Beaten for the things that she loved
No matter how hard the little girl
In the all white dress.
Lived on through every tragedy.    
As all the hands were reaching for her
She made the right choice by not grabbing any.
Little girl run for your life.
Run and don't let your feet fail you.
Because if you don't escape them
You will become them.  
Consume everything that you hate.

I loved you in the summer. When I was only a child then but you played with me and created fond and eternal memories.
I loved you in the fall. When the hard orange leaves crunched with every step I took. As I grew older and became a woman.
I loved you in the winter. With endless thoughts of you tied around my head. Wanting nothing more but to see you.
I loved you in the spring. Because that meant that summer was close. And the distance between us would become barely inches rather then countless miles.
I loved you infinitely with every gaping breath since the moment I met you.