During the night is when I admire the skies the most. That's when you can really practice understanding the different textures that it hues. Tonight there's a frothy blue that ribs into candy pinks.  It's nights like these when my eyes overflow that I want nothing more than to experience it's midnight blues in hopes that my acceptance of its unnerving art will save me but it leaves me salacious. Open legged and questioning how it is that yet again, another supposed man made thing has left me hungry and wondering. I spit cotton clouds from my mouth and rain from my eyes and the skies thank me by reflecting my actions across it's heavens making sure that you see these naked photos of me like an unending film for you to fall asleep to.

you said you loved that when I laugh, I duck my head into my chestand do so, comparing me to a kitten, I simply thought you were the cutest boy with the smoothest voice, thick like German chocolate cake and as refined as a cultured Huckleberry Finn could be, and I told you everyday until my voice grew shrill and bled thick like red wine aliens to blood and water and I swear I thought I knew you, I thought I loved you, you loved the way my lips could be apricot flavored and a fleshy pink all at once and my condensed persona, I think I loved you, and your baby curls and your moody whispers and the stinging feel of your stubble grazing my lips, I think I loved you.

if I was a romantic person,
I'd pay attention to how he smiles
when a neighboring
baby coos
at an item
while we wait
in line.

You laugh because
you know it isn't funny.

I watch because I know
you need me to keep on caring.

I used to to tell him that I couldn't help that I
was moody,
but I think that I could have-
I just liked the fact that he accepted my *******
like no other.

I don't know which I'm most annoyed by:

Those who are afraid of titles
or
Those who are in love with titles.

you used to make fun of my inability to stay found in you. mirroring my lost
gazes, biting your lower lip. at first it'd snap me back to the reality I had built in you, it'd remind me of those nights when
you'd sucker me into bed,  biting my lower lip until my eyes stung and rolled. those breathy nights when I swore Veritas sent the water from her well below and her lover sent the clouds from the heavens to cushion me as I fell clumsily into you. you used to compare me to her, not because of the truths I told you but because you said that you could easily tell just from looking at me that my demons and my angels were  fighting. you said that you could tell that sometimes my demons changed my angels against me, you said you could see them handing over their halos for a crown of wooden insecurities. but when I asked what your demons were, you laughed and said, "you are." I started to notice how often I lost myself to the world that lingered over your right shoulder. I noticed how often you had to bring me back saying one day my mysterious mind would **** me. I suppose it did the day you left me cuddled in the corner between the sink and the toilet, tears mascara-ing my brown cheeks while shouting at the skies, "why did you break my heart and then send me to this world?"

i spitfire the words out so that you don't fill up my head with all of your thoughts, I'd like to remember as little of you as possible, it seems silly, but I'm only protecting, me, and you. i spew the words out so that the only way you could ever stop me is to kiss me, i belch the words out so that all you'll ever think about is me and my words and the way i string them to you, my subtle promises, like a quite poem hushed beneath my husky breath, i want me on your mind at all times.

if i was to
ever
lose my
right hand for
stealing,
let it be your heart
that I
suffer for
with my left.