sometimes it's easier to pretend

be careful who you lay with
everyone's so sure of themselves
morally nowadays
they remember to forget that
they are human.

how they'd handle this situation is
different when they aren't in
this situation.

be careful who you lay with.
And who you go back to.

and I often wonder
why I come back
to you like I do
when all you do
is get up
and leave
me like an
old wet towel
that's gotten
too many
stains and
rips and not
enough
fibers
for you to
use.

I could
probably
fit you
into more
places than
one*.

I tried to not take us
so seriously because
in the wake of a long
stream of non-commital
commitments, I've
begun to understand
how intense I become
when someone matters
to me on a personal level,
that's why I left you alone
when I found out about Marla
and Darla and Carla and all
of the Lala's that you ******
and then you decided to be
different for a day (let's be honest.
more like five minutes tops)
and you found yourself
with the proud and loud
feminist, Mandie with an
i-e in your bed and I keep
telling myself, it's not the
feminists fault that she likes
men. This man. My man.
And so I decided un-invite you
to the party I'll be throwing
for you in honor of you
being accepted into so and so
acting program in the city.
I'll drink everything they
bring for you, **** everyone
that only loves you. I'll
leave your car beneath
some distant bridge,
**** your boss and
and take me a little more.
It's not your fault I didn't
take us seriously.
It's not your fault
the feminist liked
you more than me.

they do what they say
and they pick at all two
hundred and six plus bones
until I am left with no poles
to stand firm upon.
No limbs. No cartlidge.
they do what they say and
they alienate me into
a spineless coward.

I think it's easier to say
'if I had known' because
then it makes me feel
less responsible for
what you did.
If I had known
that you felt
so alone in this
world that you'd go
to that extent

I'd have.

And that's just it.
What would I
have done.
I know I did
nothing
and now
where are you