I want to scream
I want to cry
I am so afraid
I don't wanna be so afraid
why do I believe those empty words
it's the future, not now
live in the present
I wanna scream
I wanna let it all out
why am I so afraid
it is not even sure if it is going to happen
why am I so afraid
please help
let me scream
let my pain and anxiety out
I WANNA SCREAM

I can't lose you
because if I do
I will be more broken than I've ever been
I won't be able to move
I won't be able to talk
I will break down
I will cry every night until I'm united with you again
I am so afraid of losing you
seeing you cry breaks me
seeing you sad breaks me
but if you are gone I am in pieces
I love you


oh god, I lost you

I'm addicted to you
I want to call you when I'm having fun
I want to call you when I'm sad
I want to call you when I'm stressed
but you don't want me
I am so stressed by trying to change for you
but you don't care
and I don't know what to do
it's because I'm addicted to you

she is afraid of these monsters
even when they aren't here
she asks herself:
why do I believe those empty words?
she's afraid of these monsters
she hopes she never sees them
these monsters, green or black?
she's just so afraid of these monsters,
all the time, the whole day, the whole night
she's crying because of these monsters
someone help her forgetting these monsters
these monsters in her head

I'm trembling
I'm shaking
my thoughts are rushing
my mind is so loud and sticky
I hear my heart beating so loud
I need to get out of this
I don't wanna feel this way
my thoughts are rushing through my brain
I want to scream
my mind is a prison
I need to get out
where is the key?

when she paints, her mom wants to see
when she sings, her dad wants to hear
when she has trouble with homework, her sister helps her
when she is hungry, her grandma wants to cook for her
when she has fun, her friends are with her
but when she cries, nobody cares
nobody notices
nobody seems to understand
when she cries

tears rolling down my cheeks
feeling the cold air on my skin
my heavy breathing
feeling the grass on my naked toes
the moonlight shining so bright
running in the forest
not knowing where to go
but feeling home
alone in the forest

She sleeps all day to escape that horrible reality.
She sleeps all day to escape those feelings.
Hoping when she wakes up, all of it is gone.
But it won't be.
She feels no pain when she is asleep.
She feels no anxiety when she is asleep.
She is in her own beautiful world when she is asleep.
That's why she always sleeps.
Not because she's lazy or unmotivated,
just because she wants to escape because she can't bear this pain anymore.
She is thinking about sleeping forever.
Could that be?