I am quite volatile
unpredictable
emotion-wise
I can be ecstatic at times
and then go blank and despondent
I become silent

and hopelessness
wraps itself around
my not so small frame
and when it does
it is like a boa constrictor
squeezing hard enough
to rupture my blood pressure
hopelessness is merciless when it comes to me

but sometimes
I am hopelessness
upon myself do I become a boa constrictor
upon myself do I become merciless
this is when I think that no one
not a single soul
can come and save me
except for one
and that one person
is you
my sunshine

the chances of me vanishing are high
at times of doubt
those possibilities rise like a tsunami
extremely dangerous and fatal
when I think about things like this
those chances, possibilities, probabilities
they’re all ever so exalted

this all lead me to think
“i’m too troubled, don’t be my friend”
but I was wrong
I was lying to myself
I needed someone as much as I needed air
for someone like me
so troubled

having someone to talk to was so important
I needed to let out my feelings
or else i’d bottle them all up until the bottle overflows
and overflowing is cataclysmic
disastrous
catastrophic
deadly
just like my thoughts

there are no rainbows
without the rain
there are no plants
without the sunlight
there is no me
without you

meeting you was like finding that one book
the book you’ve been searching for in the library
for five hours
the book that had it all
everything you needed and needed to know

you
you are all I need
and all that I need to know
all that I need by my side
in my arms
against my small short self

life before you was like a snail on the run
everything moved slowly and out of a straight line
I looked at straight lines
as if they were so very essential

if something wasn’t was going right
it wasn’t going in a straight line
and if something wasn’t going in a straight line
it would mean disaster
and disaster meant
that a life would be turned around

but then you came around
you were the miracle that pulled me out
of the dreadful ocean that I considered
nightmares and phobias

nightmares and phobias
were the things that kept me up at night
they were the people who
stared at me in public
who shouted at me
who left me all alone
without anyone else
not a shoulder to cry on
not a single word could be heard for miles

the loneliness that my nightmares and phobias left me in
stuck to me like gum stuck to a pair of converse
they dragged me down more until I couldn’t grab
onto anything
or anyone

un giorno raggiungerò la luna
non oggi
ma un giorno
forse non nei prossimi anni
ma un giorno
per ora aspetterò
aspetterò e aspetterò
pazientemente
con il cuore pesante
con un'anima ostinata
con una mente stabile
con amici e famiglia che vanno e vengono
un giorno raggiungerò la luna
se c'è una volontà ci sarà un modo

push me in
pull me out
we just go back and forth
like the tides
blue everywhere
and then complete darkness
pushed all the way down below
because of the tides