Nostalgia of flying into my dad’s arms when he arrived home,
Nostalgia of decorating the Christmas tree as a family,
Nostalgia of driving around my Barbie jeep,
Nostalgia of wearing my cat costume everywhere,
Nostalgia of being friends with everyone,
Nostalgia of being naïve,
Nostalgia of a healthy family,
Nostalgia of camping,
Nostalgia of pokemon cards,
Nostalgia of insecurity
Nostalgia of blindness of boys,
Nostalgia of playing dress up,
Nostalgia of being with my best friend,
Nostalgia of family get togethers,
Nostalgia of having hope for something better,
Nostalgia of not fighting,
Nostalgia of stress free mornings,
Nostalgia of that one family vacation,
Nostalgia of my innocence,
Nostalgia of those summer runs,
Nostalgia of rebellion nights with new friends,
Nostalgia of a healthier me,
Nostalgia of getting along,
Nostalgia of knowing what I want,
Nostalgia of time.
Let’s see where it goes from here.

Heavy Footsteps

There was no greeting;

just strangers in running shoes,

except for Kaitie.

Summer Love

A choice of a boy

or a high I can't resist.

The decision is..

Hills Beyond Hills

Miles upon miles was

a calling to a smile that

he couldn't offer.

I Have To Leave

It was just a week,

a meek test to see your love.

You chose not to pass.

Holding Hands From A Distance

You chose to hold hands.

Close, firm, and knowingly that

it wasn't with me.

Trust Is Trouble

I am a rebel,

trouble could be my calling.

That's why I went back.

School Is Calling

Back with the same friends,

same boyfriend, but now I have

a love for xc.

A Change Of Course

Leaving behind the

“friends”, and joining to run to

friends, races, and YOU.

Fate Delivers Omelets

YOU, but I have him.

Me, “I can ask my parents”.

Now I have a Max.

The Decision Is

Shin splints and you

are both problem and painful;

I can't handle both.

Goodbye For The Greater Good

Trust has to be earned.

There is none for you or my

attempts at running.

Down In A Canyon

Low point: self esteem.

I couldn't compete with her,

You won my best friend.

A Break

There will be no runs,

but I have YOU and your time.

Brothers are great friends.

Love? It Doesn't Exist.

Trial and error dates.

My zipper will stay up and

I will take you home.

Staying Home, Listening to Mom

Time will bring hassle.

There is no need for stress or

crying from your voice.

Eventually.

I can hear “maybe”.

That doesn't assure grief will

pack its bags and leave.

Sun Does Shine

Positives are here,

but they don't plan to stay long.

YOU leave in four weeks.

Appreciation To:

YOU, for many smiles.

Writing, new friends, and fresh hope.

Mix Cd’s and love.

Falling Into A:

New year, new me, only,

my heart can't take heights or cracks.

But it takes the fall.

Love

For Max, parents, and

best friends that keep me going.

I am so grateful.

Toxic:

My thoughts of myself.

My compassion towards others.

The fact that YOU leave.

Realization

I am sixteen now.

I am wild, naive, and happy.

Change is très très sweet.

When It Comes Down To It

I don't ask for much, but can I for once

get something I want?

The fact that YOU will leave

and fall drunk upon cobblestone roads

infuriates me.

I don't want YOU to forget.

Little old me has a name,

it's Mariah, your only little sister,

the one only one that cries while writing this.

The Atlantic Ocean is our barrier,

along with our other hundreds of miles.

I don't want to wake up to

omelets from anyone else.

Trusting that you will remember is the trouble.

Fate is:**

Fun, it's what brought YOU and I together.

Hopeful, my dad didn't lie about the maybes.

Moving on, I hope I can too.

This is a lesson,
a metaphor of sorts,
about your wholeness.

You(r) matter
and energy,
cannot be destroyed.

Your face
is freckled with hope.
Those molecules, your friends.
Treat them well.  

And for those moments that they jumble-
Those blemishes of despair-
the size of your nose
the shape of your lips
some bump you can't remove-
these friends are a minute clan
that represent the whole that is good.
That is sure.
That is you.

The matter,
the cells,
the molecules,
the atoms.

They conjure the energy
E N C I R C L E
the light from within
that shines through so
G R A C I O U S L Y.

You(r) matter
is endless.

The potential energy you
possess can create galaxies,
innumerable wonders-



that the naked eye will never see
that the naked mind will never fathom
lights that shine from within,
trillions.

This light will take you places,
if you think your future dark
you are lying to yourself

I R I D E S C E N T.

Your glow is unstoppable,
the potential of your energy,
cannot be destroyed.

Because you shine so brightly,
K A I T L Y N  F O X.
This world cannot go without
you(r) matter.

Though some days your glow-
will seem dead
will seem lost
will seem hollow-
As long as your heart is beating

That glow will persevere.
Even when your lungs seem not to work
Even when your grades don't work
Even when the quotes
and the best friends
and the beliefs you were built on
don't work.

You can.
Just as you should.

Even when the world turns its back on you;
you belong.

when sixteen shows up
late night drives occur,
drinking is talked of and then put into action,
*** is all talk and takes courage to say no to,
friends turn to best friends while
a best friend turns into a stranger.
you learn that love is foreign
and that you don’t know it all,
but you still pretend to.
You go behind your parents back,
tell a few (or hundred) lies,
and try to remember who that shy girl
was before she undressed that night.

Trillions of cells that God placed perfectly;
he aligned them to make
you.

I am ever so blessed that he did.

A face that shines of ecstasy:
eyes of calm turquoise seas,
lips that voice truth and affection,
cheekbones that display true joy.
A face that I find simply lovely.

Your hands
(will hopefully)
encase mine.

Though right now,
we are plainly 'friends'.
The painful word that means
not right now, but eventually.
Oh how I do look forward to the future.

These hands are galaxies.
A metaphor of course.
To show that beyond them
there are many stars and planets.
To show that there is something beyond
this mundane clasping of palms.
To show that beyond us,
there are trillions of things that piece us together.

I hope for a future;
no matter how small or large it may be,
as long as it is filled with you and He who brought us together
(and no I'm not talking about Andrew or Kain).

I hope there is an us,
a he and she,
a you and I.

I wish I didn't feel this way for you
I wish our past was in the past
I wish you didn't make this so difficult
I wish we had a clean slate
I wish I didn't think about you,
But darling I can’t get enough.

This is the part where
teenage girl holds angst
against the world.
Where she bears every right to, though it is her fault
for being so foolish.
Why should she ever trust
that chance can
work it’s magic again.