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i’m typically

good with words,

i can string them together

to create something similar
to when 
you look up and see sunlight

streaming through overhead trees

while standing in the middle 
of a dense forest

i’m typically good with words,

and i’ve strung plenty together about you,

but i’m getting to the point where 
the letters
are slowly disappearing

from the dictionary 
in my mind

you’ve taken my vocabulary

and jumbled it up

stealing x’s and o’s

and plenty of z’s

replaced with late nights

thinking of what it’d be like

to place my hand on your chest

and feel your heart beat
i want to take the bits of you i love
and press them like flowers
between the pages of my favorite book

and i want to take all the scraps
that you dislike in yourself
and display them on my refrigerator
to show you i’m still proud
of the person you are
and the person you are becoming

but most of all, i want to spin you like a globe
and drag my finger across till it stops
to discover the pieces of you
that you’ve yet to reveal to anyone else

i want to wrap them up in linen
and place them in an old cigar box,
i’d tuck it away safely
in the top drawer of my bedside table,
so you know i’ll never let
those pieces of you go

because when you share
hidden parts of yourself
with someone else,
you’re trusting that person
to hold the secret sections
of your heart
and to love the bits
you thought
were unlovable
i love your laugh
all your little quirks
the cute nicknames you’ve given me
and our late night confessions

but i don’t want to

because one moment
i feel euphoric
and the next
i don’t even know
who you are

you are not my sunrise
or my brisk winter day

this constant turmoil
of zeal and distain
is too much for me to bear

sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but you will always
hurt the most
i know i am young,
i know i am only seventeen,
but when i think of him
and his incandescent smile,
my heart swells and beats in time
with the cadence of his alluring words

his mind is like no other,
filled with such deep
and captivating thoughts
that flutter from place to place
like a moth, and like a moth
i am drawn to his brilliance

i long to hold his face in my hands
and trace his lips with my fingertips
and when i close my eyes
all i see is the way he looks at me,
as if i’m the one who paints
the summer evening sky

i know i am young,
i know i am only seventeen,
but i think i could spend
the rest of my life searching
and never find anything
nearly as beautiful as
the way he loves me

— The End —