the blink that releases the tear that all lovers fight,
the day that all lovers dread,
the words that all lovers despise,
the pain no lover ever wants to feel...

as a lover of all things,
it amazes me how that blink, that day, those words and that pain always finds a way back to me
like a firefly moving hurriedly through the night, I find myself back in this familiar darkness
I find myself alone and afraid, searching for the light, yet again
I find myself hopeful that you will be the one to come and provide that light
I find myself waiting patiently for your return
I find myself hoping endlessly that this is your idea of a cruel joke

The memories, they haunt me
Small moments of what used to be happiness turn into reminders that we are no more
The silence, it eats away at me
Being left alone with my thoughts turns into an earful of tears
The music, it speaks for me
Every song on the radio turns into the soundtrack of my life
The heartbreak, it controls me
Those butterflies that once occupied the pit of my stomach turned into bees that sting with every aching heartbeat

Who says time heals all?
From everything to nothing in the blink of an eye
I don't doubt that it will take an eternity of blinks to fill this void
This emptiness, this loneliness, this sadness...

Falling out of love is far too difficult..
Won't you catch me?
Your hands are the only ones that possess the power to unbreak my heart
From now until you're mine again, no one else will have the opportunity to get close enough to even try

What am I supposed to do with this heart of mine?
It belongs to you...it always has, it always will
This power you have over me...I call it love
I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever

One of these days, I'll blink and you'll be back
I'll be awaiting that day just as the moon waits for nightfall
Is that foolish? I don't care
In love and war, everything isn't fair

We have to grow alone in order to grow together
Nothing but sunlight can follow this stormy weather

So until next time my dear lover,
I will never love another...

Ex's & O's
</3

Old Milwaukee raised me.
Groomed me, shaped me.
Prepped me, made me.
I must have been born for the wild..
Bright lights, long nights.
Skyscrapers, paper chasers.
Yellow cabs, livin' fast.
Dream chasin', heart racin'.
Crowded trains, heat and rain.
Livin' right, rockstar life.
Heart breakers, money makers.
I was definitely born for the wild.
Baited me, hooked me.
Caught me, took me.
New York City has my heart.

"What's done in the dark will come to the light"
Those were your last words to me
Well I had a flashlight, the moon and the sun
But you never really wanted to see
Did you?
You are gone
Gone without a care for me
Gone without a thought of me
Gone without a trace of me
You are gone
And I've finally accepted that you will never return
You will never care
You will never lose sleep over thoughts of me, of us
You are gone
And your absence is now okay with me
Goodbye

You sure have a way with moisture.
Your ability to make me cry
From my eyes, from my lips
From my heart, from my hips
Never ceases to amaze me.
As the rain commences outside of my window,
You create a storm inside my bed.
And as you hold me tightly afterward,
You create a storm in my head.
Where the thunder triggers passion,
And the lightning strikes down doubt,
Where the hail inflicts pain,
And where no umbrella can help.
In a puddle somewhere near,
There’s a reflection of us two.
And with every sweet rain drop,
I lose a piece of you.

Caramel apple, lemon lime
As sweet as it was, we committed a crime
We were as one, but only in my mind
Beautiful sinner, with a love so divine
Vivid memories of our better times
Roam my every thought. By love I was blind
Guilt mixed with distance created the signs
Of our inevitable and painfully heartbreaking decline
You were the right person, just at the wrong time
Presented with a plank, we walked that straight line
We sank together slowly, your hand in mine
Yet as I drowned in sorrow, you made it out just fine

I see the brightness of your smile on my darkest day.
I smell the sweet scent of your memories from miles away.
And on my luckiest days, I can taste the air you breathe.
Not a day goes by where you fail to dominate my thoughts..

I rub your smooth skin in my sleep.
I kiss your soft lips in my dreams.
I indulge myself in you...all of you, in what seems to be my happy ending.
Not a night goes by where you fail to command my mind...

Every step I take and every move I make revolves around you.
Every moment that goes by, I'm reminded of your warm embrace.

Your delicate touch and your gentle kisses are missed more and more each day,
And with each sunrise and sunset, they become that much harder to wash away...

To you what we had seems to be faded, meaningless and rotten.
But the imprint you've left on my soul will never be forgotten..

Eased your way into my world,
I didn't mind, you made it spin.
Every door you wished to enter,
I'd unlock and let you in.

Let you wander and roam freely.
Let you crash, let you explore.
I even allowed some reconstruction,
And was ready to offer more.

Would have given you my everything:
My all, my first, my last.
Had I not realized I was temporary,
And that this love would all soon pass.

Like a fool I gave it all anyway,
I invested my all in you.
Completely blind and unaware of
What you had the ability to do:

Blur my vision, slur my speech.
Cloud my judgement, extend my reach.
Crowd my emotions, play with my heart.
The end was inevitable from the start.

If only my mind weren't so critical of every move my heart makes,
If only my trusting heart knew any better,
If only this mind of mine would stop thinking so hypothetically,
If only my heart could find its way to reciprocity,
If only my mind could teach my heart that love is not just something you feel...
It's something you do, something you show, something you prove.
Maybe then my heart will be able to obey my mind's wishes,
Maybe then my heart will know what is deemed acceptable in love,
Maybe then my heart could avoid all of the pain, hurt and damage that it was willing to endure for you...

To feed on you is by far my strongest desire.
Do you know what I would give to taste your skin again?
To kiss your lips again..
And do you know how quickly I'd give it just to be wrapped inside your love again?
To be caressed by your touch again..
These cravings are uncontrollable.
Extremely noticeable.
Definitely non-negotiable.
The need for your taste...
It lingers around my taste buds.
It lives inside my tongue.
It dominates my mouth completely.
I just want to feel it once more..
Kiss it once more..
Taste it once more..

If I like you, you'll know it.
If I love you, I'll show it.
If we decide to plant that seed,
then we'll most definitely grow it.

If I'm offering my time & my mind & my thoughts,
Then like a firefly, I'm just waiting to be caught.

If I'm putting in the effort and I'm willing to commit,
I'll expect the same from you, through the thin & through the thick.

If you invest yourself in us and simply give me all you got,
I'll let down my walls and love again, and never ever stop.

If you catch me as I'm falling, and won't let me hit the ground,
I'll show you where chivalry's been hiding; I'll let you hear love's beautiful sound..