I’ll stay in this coffee shop and write about you everyday if I have to

You’re that beautiful

You are so beautiful,
yet so unaware of it

I want to paint a picture of your beauty and place it onto the other side of your eyelids, so that every single time you blinked...

You’d see what I see, in you...

There aren't enough
love poems
love songs
pencils
journals
dictionaries
thesauruses
to gather the words of beauty and pain you've caused this
foolish little ***** cuddled beneath my chest..

Silly of me to be silly for you...
only to leave
leave and find comfort in another
while  I was at our home, longing for your affection
thinking of ways to bring the flame back to our connection...

Naïve of me,
but the nerve of you...
You went outside of us
to find you
I bet you're still lost

...but you're human, so maybe you needed that
& I needed for your love to never become selfish

Tell me,
tell me in its entirety why I wasn't enough

Was I not gentle enough with your soul?

Or maybe,
Just maybe I could've stared deeper into your eyes when we made sweet love?

I guess I could've screamed your name louder when you made me squirt passion?

Was 27 hours across this country to get to you not enough dedication?

Was leaving everything and everyone at the drop of your heartbeat not enough sacrifice?

I don't have enough fingers to count the countless times I forgave you...

Love was in the way, so I went out my way countless times to put a smile on your face

It wasn't enough
I wasn't enough
In your eyes, we weren't perfect enough
I did everything that wasn't enough

She was enough

...I wasn't enough of her

Forty-two percent.
Forty-two percent of us.
Black women, never married.
42% of us laying alone in our beds
On our sides with no one gazing back at us
42% of us staring at our phones wondering if that ******* is our last chance at love
Almost half of our Nubian glow fading
Almost half of us never finding that legitimate other half
42% of us scared of being lonely
What are the ages of the women that make up this 42 percent?
Is there a cut off age to finding eternal love and happiness?
42% of us...they said 42% never did, but they never said that 42% of us never would.

instead of picking flowers for you
i'll take you where they grow,
together we can watch them die
when heat gives way to snow

(i just want to be with you
as seasons come and go)

i didn't mind when you
walked away, and i didn't pretend
to ignore it when you looked back
twice, but (in all honesty),
a goodbye would have been nice

I look at the sun and see God
And I talk to him and pray for you
I confess to him "I really did love him ya know"
And I don't know if its sarcasm or not but he just continues to beam
Sometimes even brighter, almost blinding so I squint so I can listen
It's as if he's saying "it's not over yet, he could always come back around"
Because the sun always comes back out.
I pray that you find happiness,
Then I take it back and pray that you find happiness with me.
The sun stares me down until i make my prayer unselfish and I eventually pray I find happiness with or without you.

I look to the sun and see god, and I always remind him "I really did love him ya know"