watching you pack your things and move

all i can do is watch anymore

not see, not feel, not even just be



you hold me and sit

while i cry on the bathroom floor

but i am not there

Drinking a stale beer
that I snuck out of the fridge
I feel so grown up

I am here alone
struggling to open this
was a bad idea.

Love takes form in many ways;
more than just watching a sunset.

It can appear as a stray cat
clawing at your doorstep,
or listening to the heartbeat
of someone close to you.

Even in the undying wind,
there is love.
You need only to look
and you will see it.

Suicide notes are things I often write
as an apology I will never send
to make me feel like I made it right

I will never truly end my life
nor will you ever see these essays
of my distraught despair and strife

I am sad
  I am hollow
    I am always around
    I cannot sleep
  I am silent
I am the moon

I haven't eaten anything all day
except half an apple
and my ego.

And I am so very apathetic
to my growing problems-
escalating.

I am scared that this is all just a lie
you will wake up and feel
shame and regret.

I am so drugged, so very very drugged
and forever lonely
no matter what.